Dancing With the Stars Results: Did the Right Couple Go Home Tonight?

After a wild, emotional Monday night featuring our fearless stars interpreting their lives’ most memorable trials, tribulations and, yes, even occasional triumphs — not to mention one spectacularly titanic tumble — the second results-show telecast of Dancing With The Stars’ twelfth season may have seemed spectacularly…anticlimactic.

Well, it wasn’t all that dull. Barely a minute in, Hines Ward and Kym Johnson were not only told they were safe, but then strutted a gleeful encore performance of their samba to Earth Wind and Fire’s “Fantasy.” Woot! We were also “treated” to a sparkling performance by Justin Bieber’s sweetie, teen sensation Selena Gomez, who at 18 was already making her second career appearance on DWTS (her first was in 2009), warbling her new single “Who Says” with the Scene.

Admittedly, my irony antennae were kinda hoping the teen queen would opt to sneak in a few bars of her old hit “Falling Down.” No, I’m not a heartless beast, but don’t we all secretly tune in to see famous people hit the ground? And I just know the ever-game Kirstie Alley (her “Where am I? Who am I? Let’s change the subject!” smackdown tonight of Brooke Burke was pure gold) would have been highly amused.

Alas, Selena didn’t cooperate with me on that one, but before the fetching Tom Bergeron and Robo Brooke Burke’s stone cold hearts retired the dancing shoes of the couple with the lowest combination of viewer votes and judges’ scores, we were also treated to One Republic, whose performance of “All the Right Moves” sent the DWTS Dance Troupe –I still am not sure what to think of this merry band– into a twirly whirly semi-frenzy. Earlier, Dmitry and Lacey boogied to “Good Life,” and we got some private video diaries (was that Ralph Macchio’s bare bum behind that disco ball?), too!

But without further ado, let’s get town to the nitty gritty — tonight’s results:

NOT IMMEDIATELY SENT TO SAFETY OR OTHERWISE KNOWN AS “IN JEOPARDY”
Wendy Williams and Tony Dovolani
Kendra Wilkinson and Louis Van Amstel
Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke

FINAL TWO COUPLES LEFT “IN JEOPARDY” (THOUGH NOT NECESSARILY THE BOTTOM TWO)
Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke
Wendy Williams and Tony Dovolani

ELIMINATED
Wendy Williams and Tony Dovolani

“This has been a wonderful opportunity for me,” said a clearly disappointed Williams, after reeling off her exhausting ‘to do’ list — coast to coast flights, motherhood, marriage! — before gracefully exiting the stage. “I want to thank the judges and I want to thank you also Tony for teaching me how to dance,” said Williams, who quipped, “Despite stereotypes, this is one black girl who can’t even do the Running Man!” before one last sashay and a plug for The Wendy Williams Show. Adieu, Wendy!

And with that, it’s your turn. What did you think of Wendy’s not so shocking exit? Any thoughts (or shudders) about Brooke’s ever-heinous attire, this one a half-shoulder frilly number? What could possibly be in store for us during classical week? Sound off in the comments, and let us know in our poll if the right couple went home! —Mitch Rustad