MONDAY, MARCH 14
8/7c Chuck (NBC) | Both Stacey Keibler and “the Old Spice Guy” return as the agent code-named “Greta.”
8 pm House (Fox) | Given how last week’s episode ended and what we teased you with in this video, how can you possibly turn away?
9 pm The Event (NBC) | If judgey Andrea Zuckerman (guest star/Beverly Hills 90210 alum Gabrielle Carteris) can’t get you to watch, what will?
10 pm The Bachelor: After the Final Rose (ABC) | If reality TV has taught me anything (that’s a helluva way to start a thought, isn’t it?), it’s that you can fake your way through any cocktail party banter about The Bachelor by watching this singular episode per season. Also note: The new Bachelorette is revealed afterward on Kimmel.
TUESDAY, MARCH 15
6:30/5:30c NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament (TruTV) | March Madness officially tips off here. How badly will Syracuse break my heart this time ’round? (Yes, I’m still Keith Smarting from ’87.)
8 pm Glee (Fox) | When it comes to this week’s guest stars, you may tune in for D-Lister Kathy Griffin, but I’ll be there for divine Grey’s vet Loretta Devine.
9 pm V (ABC) | It’s time for the season-ender that Morena Baccarin summed up as “totally nutty” and “heartbreaking.” Kind of like the last bite of a Snickers.
10 pm Lights Out (FX) | Johnny’s wayward scissors cuts open all sorts of storyline twists this week — including a rousing taste of what the Lights/D-Row rematch will look like (if it happens, that is).
10 pm Detroit 1-8-7 (ABC) | The cop drama wraps up its freshman season with this episode followed by a special airing on Sunday at 10.
10:30 pm Celebrity Roast of Donald Trump (Comedy Central) | Roastmaster Seth Macfarlane told me to expect “about 85 percent hair jokes,” while Jeffrey Ross put the over/under at 312. I think they’re both being conservative.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16
9/8c Criminal Minds (CBS) | A.J. Cook returns for Paget Brewster’s big send-off, in a sure-to-be gripping hour directed by Matthew Grey Gubler (Reid).
9:30 pm Mr. Sunshine (ABC) | Ben’s date is the QB of a women’s lingerie football team. That’s all I got.
10 pm Justified (FX) | All I’m gonna say is that if your TV remote clicks anywhere else, Mags Bennett has a hammer with your name on it.
THURSDAY, MARCH 17
8/7c Community (NBC) | Guest star Enver Gjokaj has his eye on a real doll: Britta.
9 pm Private Practice (ABC) | Fife resurfaces to tell Nay how he feels about her. Possible translation: This is where Audra McDonald’s exit storyline begins.
9 pm Bones (Fox) | Trapped in a frigid elevator, Brennan tells Booth, “We both have excellent stamina; making love would be quite satisfying.” Is this episode brought to us by circa-1989 Aerosmith?
9:30 pm Parks and Recreation (NBC) | The Harvest Festival is finally here — that is, unless Ben’s tragic Icetown past, an Indian curse and an MIA VIP get in the way.
10 pm 30 Rock (NBC) | Angie’s “Queen of Jordan” Bravo reality series storms the “TGS” set; Susan Sarandon guest stars.
10 pm Archer (FX) | A breast cancer diagnosis promps Sterling to tackle a “bucket list.”
FRIDAY, MARCH 18
8/7c Supernanny (ABC) | It’s the series finale, because somehow, some way, after laying witness to so, so many tot-sized temper tantrums, Jo Frost has decided she wants time off to start her own family. Crazy.
9 pm Fringe (Fox) | Time to see if last week’s big twist is, indeed, logical, Captain.
SUNDAY, MARCH 19
9/8c Big Love (HBO) | How will this wives tale end? Here’s one sneak peek.
10 pm Shameless (Showtime) | The cable series shamelessly exploits my weakness when Emmy Rossum’s Fiona gets a gal pal played by Amy Smart.
Which of the above is must-see TV for you? And by all means, hit the comments to politely share tune-in recommendations of your own!