The Amazing Race Recap: A Dirty Shame

If you got a little choked up at the end of Sunday night’s episode of The Amazing Race, it’s okay. Phil Keoghan’s tear ducts got activated, too — even if he could easily have blamed the cold, rainy Japanese weather for the misty glow in his eyes after father-son team Mel and Mike White chose life (actual) over life in The Race and limped to the pit stop without having completed their final task. Join me below to recount the action in a dozen dazzling screengrabs.

Just in case you had any doubts about Taylor Swift's global reach...

"I think he made it a lot more dramatic than it needed to be," Cara says of the Japanese guy who called the police after she smashed his car mirror in a minor traffic accident. Making things more dramatic while the reality TV cameras are rolling? Outrageous!

Not sure if the samurai master is suppressing a howl over Kent's eyebrow game or his exaggerated whispers of "Mastaah, sank you." Either way, not the best day for America's global reputation.

"There's little statues right there! Look!" yells Mallory. She's talking about the stone bear, not the adorable Japanese children in front of it, right?

Former beauty queen Mallory continues her quest for 'Unfinished Business' sound bite MVP with this one-two punch: "Oh man! Like Miss America all over again, only 50 pounds heavier!" "You're gonna have two redheads comin' through! They're gonna look pretty good in this outfit, don't worry!"

Kent shows us that even complete strangers can benefit from a little "hug with tongue" action.

Nothing says father-daughter bonding like standing underneath a brutal blast of 45-degree water for a full minute.

Flight Time completes the "absconding with opponent's fanny pack" portion of the Shinto religious cleansing ritual.

"If a guy gets out of a car in his underwear and asks you for directions in the States, you run the other way. Here, they don't even bat an eye," says Justin, explaining another little-known difference between America and Japan.

Sometimes winning is as easy as not letting your father die of hypothermia while looking for a frog statuette in a freezing mud pit in Japan.

"We're calling this a big, giant lump of panda poo." Hey, whatever gets you through The Race.

It's okay, Phil, let those tears out. Your umbrella-holders won't judge you.