Worst Cooks In America Recap: Fishy Business

With only six contestants left, and the kitchen competency level on the rise, the producers of Worst Cooks in America had to get a little more creative last night to whip up an episode that would satisfy our appetites for comical culinary horror. The solution? “Giant monster fish” and slippery squid to send our queasy cooks into fits of fear.

I particularly loved the little “surprise” embedded in the stomach of one of Kat’s calamari: A whole sardine, gray and squelchy and possibly in the early stages of decomposition. I can’t be sure some crafty Worst Cooks production assistant didn’t plant it there, but it was a gory highlight of a sadly tepid episode. “It will haunt me for the rest of my life,” giggled Kat, who left all kinds of foul sludge on her cutting board as she continued to prepare her dish for the elimination challenge. Alas, the addition of entrails to her entree left it “slimy and bitter,” according to Chef Anne, and along with the quarter cup or so of crushed red pepper flakes on Kat’s poached egg, led to the season’s most unintentionally entertaining contestant finally getting the boot.

On the Blue Team, Ty’s utter optimism was no longer enough to compensate for his culinary shortcomings. “I’ve done a great job — at facing my fears,” said Ty sagely, moments before elimination. Well, at least he wasn’t trying to make a case for his raw okra and watery fish broth. I will, however, miss moments like Ty adding four cups of chicken stock instead of the reommended four tablespoons, and his remarkable ability to always use the wrong-sized pot.

Other highlights this week:

* Joshie’s sweaty, panicking meltdown (pictured), including a cut that bled all over his calamari filling. “Dealing with this monster and shredding it to pieces is unequivocaly the greatest fear I will ever have to overcome,” he gasped, clearly underestimating the possibility that a wide range of horrors — horrors worse that preparing a high-end seafood dish in a clean, well-lit kitchen — might befall him at any moment.

* The unintentionally suggestive bon mots flying around during the “make your own sausage” skill drill. “I like big sausages!” shouted Ty. “It’s important to use your little pricker,” offered Chef Anne. “I’m really excited to pump that sausage,” exclaimed Carlos. And just like that, we’d entered an episode of Beavis and Butt-Head.

* Kelsey translating Chef Robert’s Herb Sausage with Red-Pepper Spaetzle and Cream Sauce into more, um, relatable terms: “So good, it’s almost like adult macaroni and cheese with hot dogs.” Yum?

What did you think of this week’s Worst Cooks? Who do you think will make the finale? I’m pulling for Georg and Carlos, but honestly, I’m just hoping we’ll see some more charring, mutilating, and mis-measuring before it’s all said and done. Share your own thoughts below, and for all my reality TV ridiculata, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV.

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