Exclusive: Scrubs Scene-Stealer Heads to Cougar Town

I don’t think I’m overselling this next story by declaring it the most exciting bit of casting news to break in the last quarter century: Sources confirm to me exclusively that Cougar Town has just procured the services of… um, me!

Although a show rep declined to confirm the rumor, I’m told that I will guest-star in one of this season’s final episodes in a role so top-secret, even I don’t know what it is. In fact, I’m pretty sure series cocreator Bill Lawrence doesn’t know what it is, which presents me (and by me, I mean you) with a golden opportunity — to come up with a role ourselves!

Who do you think I should play on Cougar Town? Keep in mind that the part will be relatively small, due to my lack of discernible acting ability, er, I mean my hectic schedule. Yep, that’s the reason. The part will be small because of my insane schedule. So think something akin to my Scrubs role of Elizabeth Banks’ baby doc, which was both pivotal and under five lines. (Remember, there are no small parts, only journalists with big egos. Wait, that’s not right.)

Take to the comments section with your ideas. I’ll present the 10 best to Lawrence and his fellow Town-ies. Should one of them get used, I’ll invite the winner to my viewing party.* Go to it!

* Winner will be responsible for all travel expenditures and must agree not to hit the hummus and pita platter too hard. Should your idea be used, it becomes the sole property of ABC Studios. You can still brag about it at cocktail parties, though.