The Bachelorette: Become Fluent in the Desiree-Brooks Saga With 15 Wacky Screengrabs

Here’s a dilemma for quality TV lovers with active social schedules: You’d rather brush your teeth with steel wool than spend two hours of your life watching The Bachelorette. Nevertheless, with ABC billing the show’s latest two-part finale (Part 1 aired last Monday; Part 2 airs this Monday, 8/7c) as “the television event of the summer,” chances are you’ll be hearing the names “Desiree” and “Brooks” and possibly even “Drew” at …READ MORE & VIEW PHOTOS

Ratings: Bachelorette Opener Drops Vs. 2012, HBO's Liberace Hits High Notes, Longmire Strong

The season premiere of The Bachelorette: Desiree Edition drew 5.9 million total viewers and a 1.9 rating on Monday night, down 27 percent from the dating show’s year-ago opener — which aired during sweeps and followed a DWTS final dance-off — to hit an all-time low.

A special 20/20: Royal Babies Are Royally Magical* led out of that with a …READ MORE

Bachelor Pad Season 3 Cast Announced: Identical Twins 'Will Compete as One Person,' Says ABC

Remember that Monday night last summer where you consumed three-quarters of a bottle of chardonnay and fell asleep on your living room couch watching a Season 2 episode of Bachelor Pad? Well, the absurdist nightmare you droolingly woke from during your local news — you know, the one with Erica Rose’s tiara, Michael Stagliano’s tears, the twins from The Shining, and a person whose actual name is Kalon — is about to come true. READ MORE