Celebrity Apprentice Recap: Grilling Gary Busey

Well, it happened. For the first time last night, I prayed for sanity on Celebrity Apprentice. Prayed! Every week I gawk at these contestants with their microwaved faces and poppycock lives, and I always approve of their senselessness. I danced when Dionne Warwick clucked “Hussy!” at Star Jones! I reveled in Richard Hatch’s murderous stare! I still cherish when La Toya Jackson murmurs like a nervous Muppet Baby (a hybrid of Skeeter and Beaker, arguably). But this week, I couldn’t handle Gary Busey’s team leadership and utter nonsense, and I’m guessing you couldn’t either. Clasp your hands over your face like Meat Loaf, because we have a lot of unbearable nuttiness to review. READ MORE

Celebrity Apprentice Recap: I Say A Little Prayer for Decency

Unspeakable things happened on Celebrity Apprentice last night, and I’m not talking about Gary Busey’s sentences. I’m referring to a challenge about stupid commercials, Jose Canseco’s “risque humor,” (which must be Trump code for “homophobia”), and the firing of a first-rate buzzard. Tragedy all around. Plus, Busey told us his johnson is nicknamed “Big Wednesday,” and he meant it. Because this show? Is kind of hell, for sure. But a fresh hell! Let’s relive and re-love it. …READ MORE

Celebrity Apprentice Recap: Mutiny on the RV!

From Movieline.com’s Louis Virtel.

This season, “Celebrity Apprentice” is short for “The Sorcerer’s Celebrity Apprentice” because it’s a scary spectacle worthy of a Fantasia vignette. There’s the magical mouse herself, LaToya Jackson, decked in a wizard’s bandleader jacket. There’s the wise fox Mark McGrath alongside the shifty-eyed puma Dionne Warwick. Oh, and look, there’s Gary Busey — who is his own animated species. It’s a menagerie of mischief this year, and last night’s episode was yet another foray into the animal kingdom. Rowr. Let’s review. …READ MORE