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Big Brother Recap: 5 Telling Quotes from the 5 Remaining Houseguests

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If you took a microscope to this week’s Big Brother, you’d find one uninspiring Petri dish. Our five remaining protozoa jiggled slightly, even splashing in a gelatinous undertow during the HOH challenge, but we’ve seen these Double Dare antics before. Even Rachel seemed bored when honking BRENNAAAAN’s name. That usually replenishes her electrolytes for up to 18 hours! Not so today. READ MORE


TVLine Items: Gossip Girl Visits New Girl, The View Honors AMC, Idol Works Blue, and More

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Katie Cassidy is ditching Gossip Girl for a New Girl.

The actress will guest-star on an episode of Fox’s new, Zooey Deschanel-starring comedy this fall as a wedding guest who catches the eye of … READ MORE


Big Brother Recap: Five Alive, Barely

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After a brutal week of lessons that Porsche and Kalia won’t soon forget, Headmistress Chenbot flung her elimination ruler at either Shelly or Adam during Thursday night’s Big Brother. Did Jordan, Rachel, and Kalia vote to keep the sad non-competitor Adam or the all-beige matriarch Shelly? The answer may rile your electronic fortune-teller. READ MORE


Big Brother Recap: Operation Dummy Drop

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No one likes to see seven minutes of entertainment stretched into an hour-long batch of pregnant pauses and fart speculation, but that’s exactly what we witnessed on Wednesday night’s Big Brother. It’s like how that Anne Hathaway movie One Day felt like it lasted two months, you know? To kill time, the P.O.V. episode turned itself into a meditation on Porsche’s poor decision to open Pandora’s Box for a $5,000 payoff. To be fair: Very bad move, Porsche! But to be fairer to us, couldn’t Zingbot have come back to harass her about it? Or David Hasselhoff? …READ MORE


Big Brother Recap: Slithering Heights

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When the ever-angelic Rachel barked that Big Brother is full of snakes and snakelike behavior, I agreed with her (woah!) and immediately drew up a chart pairing every houseguest with a corresponding serpent. READ MORE


Big Brother Recap: Eviction Conniption

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A thought occurred to me (!) about halfway through Thursday’s Big Brother: It’s all downhill from here. When Julie Chen sullenly declared that we’d witness a double eviction, I realized that dropping from eight to six houseguests jumpstarts not only a new leg of the game, but a new game. The old alliances? Warped and contorted beyond repair. The new lineup? A sinister tableau of underestimated, overblown, and fairly shell-shocked contenders. My verdict? Big Brother turned itself inside out and just became fantastic. And with this episode, the real fight begins. …READ MORE


Big Brother Recap: Zing for the Moment

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Yes, yes, we’ll get to the freakish results of the Power Of Veto competition in a short spell, but wait: Did Big Brother just bring back Zingbot 3000, the wisecracking robot who enters the manse for no reason, hurls insults at the remaining houseguests, and proclaims “ZING” after each punchline? Well, I’ll be: It’s the most human advancement of the season! Forget this dreary episode and the humiliating P.O.V. aftermath — we just watched these eight comatose bodies jolt to life thanks to the power of mockery. Lesson learned: We do God’s work when we call Rachel a braying hyena demon. …READ MORE


Big Brother Recap: Total Soap Opera

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I repeat the same five words before every athletic challenge on Big Brother: “It’s like the Soulless Olympics!” “Oh no. Jeff’s gonna win.” Most of the competitions at Chenbot Manor are suited for swifter, brawnier contestants, and the HOH detergent race on Sunday’s episode was no exception. To see ultra-lean Jeff jaunt into the lead (as we did on Thursday’s episode) wasn’t exciting. In fact, it was scathingly dull. But did he pull through on Sunday’s ep with the win, earning himself the distinction of Head of Household and a gold medal in the Soaptathlon? Join us as we relive the sudsy Sabbath. …READ MORE


Big Brother Recap: 5 Wishes for the Week Ahead

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I can’t tell whether Thursday’s eviction episode of Big Brother was satisfying or anticlimactic: We dealt with two provocative nominees — Shelly, the bayou belle who forged one too many problematic alliances, and Brendon, who spends his entire life as one half of a problematic alliance. Let’s analyze the elimination …READ MORE


Big Brother Recap: Is Shelly Lying to Us?

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Wednesday’s Big Brother yielded a cute veto game (with beanbags!) and a couple great Daniele moments (including a delicious last-minute backdooring), but the episode mainly served as an intense psychological examination of Shelly, A.K.A. The Beigest Person On Television. She’s Frappuccino beige, you guys, and damn near Danielle Staub beige. Fascinating lady, this Shelly. Let’s compare notes! …READ MORE