Bachelor Pad Recap: Oral Dilemma

As the number of morally compromised, fame-hungry lunatics diminishes each week on Bachelor Pad, inanimate objects must step up and bring the entertainment. On this week’s episode, for example, an electric toothbrush and a yogurt cup provided stellar supporting work that was at least as interesting as the exhausting “will they or won’t they” romantic drama between Michael and Holly. Let’s recap the action: …READ MORE

Bachelor Pad Photo Recap: Swim Pickings

“I find it entertaining, and it’s almost like I’m in disbelief that one person could really be so crazy,” declared suddenly entertaining Erica, watching Melissa’s nervous breakdown, on Monday night’s episode of Bachelor Pad. The tiara-sporting contestant’s statement pretty much sums up my feelings about every person, every word, and every interaction that exists on ABC’s compellingly awful famewhoreasbord. And so, even though I’m on vacation, I feel compelled to post some kind of recap, if for no other reason than to confirm that, yes, Bachelor Pad is real, and not just a figment of my waking nightmares. …READ MORE

Bachelor Pad Recap: Monsters Inked!

If you happened to watch Monday night’s installment of Bachelor Pad, you may have come away from the episode asking, “Am I any better than people who watch two roosters or two pit bulls getting thrown into pit to tear each other limb from limb?”

Fret not, reality TV junkies, the answer to that question is …READ MORE

Bachelor Pad Recap: Sleaze the Day!

Welcome back to Bachelor Pad, a squelching cesspool of amorality, intellectual rot, and abject horror where wannabe celebrities come to play for the chance to take home a cash prize that’s more than double what they hand out to the winner of Project Runway.

But before the scheming, crying, flesh baring, and inappropriate touching begin, Read More