Bachelor Pad Season 3 Cast Announced: Identical Twins 'Will Compete as One Person,' Says ABC

Remember that Monday night last summer where you consumed three-quarters of a bottle of chardonnay and fell asleep on your living room couch watching a Season 2 episode of Bachelor Pad? Well, the absurdist nightmare you droolingly woke from during your local news — you know, the one with Erica Rose’s tiara, Michael Stagliano’s tears, the twins from The Shining, and a person whose actual name is Kalon — is about to come true. READ MORE

The Bachelor Recap: Park City and Recreation

In the world of reality television, Survivor is known as the show where contestants go to “outwit, outlast, and outplay.” But that wouldn’t seem like such a bad motto for the current season of The Bachelor. On Monday night’s installment, set in scenic Park City, Utah, Ben’s tongue made alliances with five other women’s tongues (Rachel, Kacie B, Courntey, Nicki, and Jennifer); a group date found an octet of bachelorettes …READ MORE

The Bachelor Recap: Pinot Me Gusta

“I’m in shock.” “I feel sick.” “Are you kidding me? No, really, are you kidding me? I can’t believe this is happening. I’m mortified.” “I’m gonna pretend this never happened.”

Those were the tear-streaked words that Weepy McCrazypants uttered …READ MORE

The Bachelor Season Premiere Recap: Introducing the Horse of Babylon

If your audio malfunctioned during the season premiere of The Bachelor: Only White Chicks Are Allowed at the All You Can Drink Wine Bar, fret not. The entire two-hour affair can be boiled down to a disconcerting combination of the following sounds: Glug, glug, glug. Slllluuuurrrrr. Waaaahhh. Neeeiiiiiigggghhhh. [Toilet flush.]

And really, what more do you need to know about the episode, other than …READ MORE

American Idol Recap: Rocky Horror

Randy Jackson, wipe that stunned expression off your stupid face. Jennifer Lopez, mop up your phony, ridiculous tears. And Steven Tyler, go back to bed. (Honestly, dude, you’ve been taking the world’s greatest public nap for the last six weeks — why get invested now?) Because while the three of you sat there Thursday night at the American Idol judges’ table, collecting your seven-figure salaries and expressing your anger over the obscenely premature elimination of …READ MORE