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The Bachelor Recap: Park City and Recreation

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In the world of reality television, Survivor is known as the show where contestants go to “outwit, outlast, and outplay.” But that wouldn’t seem like such a bad motto for the current season of The Bachelor. On Monday night’s installment, set in scenic Park City, Utah, Ben’s tongue made alliances with five other women’s tongues (Rachel, Kacie B, Courntey, Nicki, and Jennifer); a group date found an octet of bachelorettes …READ MORE


The Bachelor Recap: Pinot Me Gusta

THE BACHELOR - "Episode 1602" - Twelve bachelorettes meet Ben at a local park for the first group date of the season. Ben reveals that the women will audition for and perform in a community play. But this dramatic showcase was written by children. The women are called upon individually to perform a series of embarrassing impersonations for Ben and the children. After casting the women in roles ranging from a princess to a weasel, Ben drops another bombshell: the performance will take place that night in front of a live audience. One anxious bachelorette flubs her lines, but recovers nicely and steals the show and a kiss from Ben. When the 12 ladies join Ben at a posh poolside after party at a hotel, Blakeley lures him into a steamy make out session, much to the horror of the other women. Samantha is so disturbed at this shameless ploy for Ben's attention that she escapes to the bathroom in tears, on "The Bachelor," MONDAY, JANUARY 9 (8:00-10:01 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/RON KOEBERER)
BEN FLAJNIK

“I’m in shock.” “I feel sick.” “Are you kidding me? No, really, are you kidding me? I can’t believe this is happening. I’m mortified.” “I’m gonna pretend this never happened.”

Those were the tear-streaked words that Weepy McCrazypants uttered …READ MORE


The Bachelor Season Premiere Recap: Introducing the Horse of Babylon

THE BACHELOR - In "Episode 1601," Ben returns to the mansion for the first big cocktail party. He explains to Chris Harrison that, as painful as his experience was last season, he has no regrets. When Ben began his journey with Ashley, he was emotionally shut down due to his grief over his father's death. Ultimately, he was able to open himself up again to love. Because of that journey, he is a different man and ready to try and find love again, when "The Bachelor" premieres MONDAY, JANUARY 2 (8:00-10:01 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/RICK ROWELL)
LINDZI, BEN FLAJNIK

If your audio malfunctioned during the season premiere of The Bachelor: Only White Chicks Are Allowed at the All You Can Drink Wine Bar, fret not. The entire two-hour affair can be boiled down to a disconcerting combination of the following sounds: Glug, glug, glug. Slllluuuurrrrr. Waaaahhh. Neeeiiiiiigggghhhh. [Toilet flush.]

And really, what more do you need to know about the episode, other than …READ MORE


American Idol: Who's to Blame for This Week's Horrible, Horrible Results?

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It’s been almost 24 hours since what I would argue was American Idol‘s all-time worst results-show telecast — hey, at least Chris Daughtry and Tamyra Gray made it all the way to fourth in their respective seasons! — and I’m still reeling. How did the season’s most consistent (and arguably most gifted) vocalist, …READ MORE


American Idol Recap: Rocky Horror

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Randy Jackson, wipe that stunned expression off your stupid face. Jennifer Lopez, mop up your phony, ridiculous tears. And Steven Tyler, go back to bed. (Honestly, dude, you’ve been taking the world’s greatest public nap for the last six weeks — why get invested now?) Because while the three of you sat there Thursday night at the American Idol judges’ table, collecting your seven-figure salaries and expressing your anger over the obscenely premature elimination of …READ MORE