Let’s begin by noting that none of these True Blood staples are present, or even mentioned, in the pilot.
Is that Jessica Stroup from 90210 and The Following? Well, I’ll be…
Remember when Tara had a job? And was a human? And hadn’t died twice? Good times.
Sam mocking Arlene for her lazy work ethic is pretty ironic, now that she’s literally running the joint.
Sam isn’t even trying to hide how badly he wants to bang Sookie in this pilot.
“Lafayette, that’s nasty talk and I won’t listen to it!” Sookie says when he mentions what’s between her legs. (It’s cute how innocent Sookie once was.)
I just want to point out that Jason and Maudette are watching Blind Date, the quintessential syndicated dating show of their time.
I don’t know what’s more ironic — Jason judging Maudette for having sex with a vampire, or him innocently asking what it was like. (Don’t worry, Jason. You’ll know soon enough.)
Can we take a moment to discuss Bill’s hair? (I know it’s not as ridiculous as Eric’s early wig, but since he’s not in the pilot, Bill will just have to take the bulk of the ridicule.)
Bill orders a red wine, so he’ll have a reason to be at Merlotte’s. “Whatever the reason, I’m glad you’re here.” (Of course, this is way before she finds out he’s there on Sophie-Anne’s orders. Turns out, she’s not so “glad,” after all.)
“How did Sookie make that chain tighten?” the viewers ask. (Keep wondering, kids. You won’t find out it was actually Claudette’s doing for years.)
Did Sookie and Sam just kiss?
“Vampires often turn on those who trust them, you know.” (Well, we don’t know now, but we will soon enough.)
“What are you?” Bill asks, to which Sookie replies, “I’m a waitress.” (You’re also a princess, Sookie. A fairy freakin’ princess!)
“I’m not implying werewolves exist,” Sookie says. (Oh, they exist, Sookie. And someday, you’ll have sex with one. A really, really big one.)
Love Gran. Love that she’s casually reading one of Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse novels. Miss her so much.
Ah, another one of Sookie’s family members who’s about to get killed by Rene. (RIP, Tina!)
“I hate that little s—t,” Andy says when he sees Jason. (OK, I guess some things haven’t changed all that much.)