Picking up where last week’s cliffhanger left us, Kaitlyn kicks off the evening by telling Clint she doesn’t trust him. When Clint tries to explain how close he and JJ have gotten in the last few days, Kaitlyn tells him what we’re all hoping she would: “This isn’t about your relationship with JJ!” Judging by the look on Clint’s face here, this is news to him.
DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU
In case you need further confirmation of how little Kaitlyn cares that Clint is leaving, allow these parting words to the camera — “Toodle-oo, Clint!” — to speak for themselves.
BROMANCE BREAK-UP, PT. II
And how is JJ handling Clint’s early departure, you ask? I do believe the old saying, “A picture screengrab is worth a thousand words” has never been more applicable than it is right now.
NO ROSE FOR YOU
Having spent the evening sending yet another jerk home early, Kaitlyn informs the guys that there won’t be a rose ceremony this time. Their response to the news? Crickets. It isn’t until Kaitlyn reminds them, “This is a good thing” that the contestants actually crack a few smiles.
KEEPING IT FRESH
I can’t be the only one who’s wondering how much Doug E. Fresh was paid to appear on this show, right?
RAP IT UP
When the guys go head-to-head in a series of rap battles, all of their “disses” are pretty innocuous… until JJ tells Corey, in front of a crowd of New York women, to go back to his “NYC hos.” Oh, JJ. You’re never going to “win” this thing.
Like a mosquito you just can’t seem to swat away, Nick Viall returns to the Bachelorette franchise after Kaitlyn’s rap battle group date. The long and short of it: After Kaitlyn got booted by Chris Soules, Andi Dorfman’s onetime suitor got in touch with Kaitlyn on social media to say she handled herself well on the show. They talked “a handful of times” after that, and now… here we are.
HE’S BAAAAACK!, PT. II
After telling Kaitlyn that he’d forever regret not pursuing her on Season 11, Kaitlyn is pretty much instantly wooed. The Bachelorette editors will spend the next few scenes trying to create suspense, but we all know this kiss has sealed Nick’s fate as a permanent contestant.
GET YOUR HAIR DID
Kaitlyn decides to talk through the Nick situation with Ashley S., the infamous “crazy” contestant from Chris Soules’ season of The Bachelor. Funnily enough, Ashley’s reaction to Nick’s return is the exact same reaction we had to seeing her back on the ABC franchise. :O
HE’S BAAAAACK!, PT. III
Even though Ashley S. tries to convince Kaitlyn that her feelings for Nick are merely lust, the bachelorette decides to give Mr. Viall a shot at winning the whole shebang. In case you just heard a low rumble, that was me groaning.
HE’S BAAAAACK!, PT. IV
And, judging by the looks on these guys’ faces, I’m not the only one who’s less than thrilled to hear that Nick is officially in the competition. At this point, they’re probably wishing Clint was back in the game — and that’s really saying something.
GET TO DA CHOPPA
If the current Bachelorette goes a whole season without taking a helicopter ride, did the season ever really happen?
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?
For her second group date of the episode, Kaitlyn brings the guys to Broadway’s New Amsterdam Theatre, where they will audition for a place in the ensemble of that evening’s Aladdin performance. With his enthusiasm in this photo, is it any surprise Chris got the gig?
And you have to admit, Chris looks pretty adorable in Arabian garb, even if his Broadway debut consists of little more than standing in the right spot on stage.
MUSIC OF THE NIGHT
“See, this is why I love New York! There’s so much talent everywhere!” Kaitlyn exclaims after walking by a street performer. Wouldn’t it have been a bit more endearing if she pulled out her wallet to show her appreciation for the drummer?
WHAT’S BEHIND DOOR NO. 1?
Naturally, the episode ends before Nick can formally meet the rest of the contestants, and I’m left wondering if we’ll even see another rose ceremony for the rest of the season. I’m actually starting to miss all that “unscripted” drama!