After being called out on his unparalleled rudeness (to both Kaitlyn and his fellow suitors), Ian takes his apology pretty darn seriously, getting down on one knee and begging for the guys’ forgiveness. “This is who I am,” Ian insists. “I hope people can accept that apology as an example of my humility.” The other contestants do forgive him, but not before one of them poses an even more important question to Ian: “Are you proposing right now?”
BROS BEFORE REALITY TV SHOWS
One of the hottest topics of the night? JJ and Clint’s too-close-for-comfort friendship, which both men take turns justifying. Clint just wants to remind the all-female audience that “[he’s] a straight man,” while JJ takes a different approach to describing the bromance: “There was a lot of meat in that for me.” As FX’s Sterling Archer would say, “Phrasing!”
NO WOMAN, NO CRY
Since Chris Harrison is the nosiest host in reality TV, he asks Ben Z. if he’s shed any tears since Kaitlyn broke up with him. (The suitor hasn’t cried in 11 years, since his mom passed away.) Ben’s response? “I've gotten close a few times. it'll happen when it happens.” Once again, when taken out of context, this quote sounds all wrong.
Asked by Chris Harrison to elaborate on That Night In San Antonio — during which Kaitlyn told Shawn he was “the one” — Ben H. reveals that he and Shawn were roommates in Texas… but Shawn got a king bed, and Ben H. got a cot. Bachelorette producers, might you be taking your favoritism a little too far with this one?
YOU’VE GOT HATE MAIL
Before Kaitlyn chats with her suitors, she takes the opportunity to highlight some of the cyberbulling she’s experienced as a result of her tryst with Nick. Chris Harrison reads a handful of hate-filled tweets (many of them using the word “whore” until it loses all meaning) — and while the Twitter haters were hoping to break Kaitlyn’s spirit, she is reinvigorated when the contestants and studio audience give her a standing ovation. As the great philosopher Taylor Swift once said, “Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.”
When the sensitive topic of Nick’s arrival comes up with Kaitlyn and the guys, Jonathan takes the floor, admitting that it was hurtful to bring Nick into the competition when Kaitlyn had already said her husband was in the cocktail party room. “Did you not vote for Britt?” Kaitlyn fires back. Hey, Jonathan, want to pick up that gauntlet Kaitlyn just threw down?
Sporting a new haircut and new attitude, Ryan M. finally apologizes (with a rose!) for the sloppy, drunken behavior that got him prematurely eliminated during the season premiere. Not that I think Ryan would have made it to the Final Two anyway, but don’t you wish he’d been able to stick around just a bit longer?
ON BENDED KNEE
As a nice bookend to the two-hour tell-all, Ian takes the floor once again by offering a (heartfelt?) apology to Kaitlyn for the comments he made about her, especially those that may have led to cyberbullying. And if Ian weren’t already eating a huge slice of humble pie, he does just that when his leg cramps up, preventing him from remaining on bended knee for his second apology of the night. Even ex-models from Princeton have their shortcomings, eh, Ian?