THE LATEST | Liz is considering adopting a child with her totally trustworthy husband Tom, until a case of stolen babies at an adoption agency sways her differently. She goes home to Tom, telling him that something is broken in their marriage (duhhhh!) and she can’t have a baby right now.
OUCH! | His baby-dreams dashed, Tom turns to the equally trustworthy Jolene, who comforts him.
THE FORECAST | Gloomy. We’re not sure why these two are still together. Their relationship is about as authentic as Lizzie’s hair.
THE LATEST | Well, that escalated quickly. After some real talk with Ray, Marnie gives Ray a goodbye hug… which turns into a goodbye kiss… which turns into goodbye sex.
OUCH! | Ray asks Marnie to keep their sexytime on the DL, to which Marnie elegantly responds, “Go f—k yourself, you think I would advertise this?” (She totally could on her new YouTube channel, just sayin’.)
THE FORECAST | Dark and dreary. Based on their post-coitus interaction, we can’t imagine them becoming a thing.
THE LATEST | Dean tries to apologize for all the Gadreel drama and asks Sam if they can be partners in crime again (in their own weird brotherly way) – but Sam insists something is broken. He can’t trust Dean anymore.
OUCH! | Dean plays the family card and Sam just kills us some more when he says, “You say that like it’s some sort of cure-all.”
THE FORECAST | Gloomy. We like to think that Sam is just being temporarily possessed by some evil twin and that they will eventually work things out.
THE LATEST | Juliette tries to cook (bless her heart) and goes over to see Avery, macaroni in hand. There, she announces, “You really had me convinced I’d be OK if everything I had disappeared,” she tells him. “But I realized there is one thing that I need… One thing I have to have… you.”
AWW! | After she says this, Juliette and Avery kiss because that’s obviously the cutest thing anyone never ever said to me!
THE FORECAST | Sunny! Make-outs! Sex! This attraction has been in the studio for a while now, so it’s about time they did a proper “duet”!
THE LATEST | Damon tells Katherine Elena he wants her back, saying, “You’re good, and I need a little good in my life. ‘Cause without it, there’s an awful lot of darkness.” But girlfriend isn’t having it: In true Elena-style, she tells him she is afraid of what he will do if they break up again.
OUCH! | As if Damon needs another reason to make a sadface, Elena tells Damon it’s over.
THE FORECAST | Bloody dismal. But Stefan heard the break-up so who knows, maybe he and Elena can make up for old times’ sake? Seeing as Kat is taking over Elena’s body, it’s not that far-fetched!
THE LATEST | OK, we love Richie and Patrick, but there is no denying the chemistry between these two (and helllooooo, British accent!). After straddling a pipe thingamajig (like you do) and playing video games, Patrick discovers the new office hottie is indeed gay… and also his boss. Rut-roh!
OUCH! | After Patrick insinuates possibly hooking up, Kevin tells him that he has a boyfriend in Seattle.
THE FORECAST | Gloomy-ish. Kevin’s taken status may be an issue right now, but these two will continue to exchange flirty banter and spend lots of time together. Boss-smosh!
THE LATEST | Well, so much for normalcy. After hooking up with Mike’s bad-boy brother Robbie, Fiona tries to end it… by going to Robbie’s house (because a text would clearly not suffice). This of course spells trouble for our self-destructive gal, who continues their affair.
OUCH! | In a conversation with V, Fiona reveals her problem with relationships: “What do you want me to say? That I’m self-destructive? That liars, and thieves, and addicts turn me on? That I don’t know how to do a normal relationship?”
THE FORECAST | Eighty percent chance of devastation. There are only so many ways this thing can end, and it’s not looking good for anyone involved.