Me, Myself & I Premiere

CBS' Me, Myself & I Premiere: Grade It!

This is the story of the first episode of CBS’ Me, Myself & I.

Monday’s series premiere introduced viewers to inventor Alex Riley, played at three dramatically different stages of his life by Jack Dylan Grazer (of It), Bobby Moynihan (of Saturday Night Live) and John Larroquette (of… pretty much everything).

In order to get the “complete picture,” as Alex points out in the premiere’s opening moments, you need to know what happens in each phase. Let’s begin, shall we?

1991, AGE 14 | Here’s the thing about Alex: The further back you go, the more of a pushover he becomes. As a young teen, the Michael Jordan fanatic is forced to move from Chicago to Los Angeles because of his mother’s unexpected remarriage, then forced into making a fool of himself at his new school’s first big dance by his well-meaning new step brother. The plan for Alex to lock lips with Nori “There She Goes” Sterling comes crashing down when he starts choking on his gum and accidentally spits it into her mouth, earning him the socially crippling nickname “Chokey.”

2017, AGE 40 | We pick up with Alex nearly three decades later on what he dubs “the worst day of [his] life” — the day he catches his wife boning a paramedic. (He sees the ambulance outside his house and assumes his wife has been hurt, which would ironically be a better outcome.) He then learns that his wife intends to bring their daughter with her when she moves away with her new man, and with Alex’s business in the dumps, he’s in no position to support a child. But thanks to a little help from his business partner (Family Matters‘ Jaleel White), his father (Always Sunny‘s Brian Unger) and a potent edible, he comes up with the idea he needs to turn things around.

2042, AGE 65 | By the time we meet “old” Alex, he’s finally calling the shots (if I may use my own basketball metaphor). Sure, he’s almost wiped off the planet by a heart attack, but the near-death experience actually inspires him to grab life by the horns — beginning by retiring from the flourishing Riley Industries. He’s also treated to a surprise reunion with an all-grown-up Nori (now played by NYPD Blue‘s Sharon Lawrence), whom he greets with an equally surprising kiss. (And let’s just say she’s not mad about it).

Did you enjoy your first visit to Alex Riley’s past, present and future? Will you be returning next week? Grade the series premiere below, then drop a comment with your full review.