Riverdale Recap: Nun of Your Business

Need to catch up? Check out our previous Riverdale recap here.

This week on Riverdale, we finally met Betty’s institutionalized sister Polly — who dropped a huge bombshell in the ongoing Jason Blossom investigation.

Betty invites Jughead over for breakfast, where her mom Alice snidely blames him for Betty’s “Jason Blossom obsession.” But when Alice steps out, Betty sneaks a look at her mom’s checkbook and finds a check made out to The Sisters of Quiet Mercy. It’s the “home for troubled youth” run by nuns where they stashed Polly, so she and Jughead head there to investigate. Betty reunites with Polly, who’s overjoyed to see her: “You found us.” Us? Yep, Polly pats her belly: She’s pregnant.

Polly explains that she and Jason plotted to run away together on the Fourth of July and start a family, but Betty’s parents caught Polly in the act and sent her away to the group home. Even worse: Polly has no idea Jason’s dead. Betty has to be the one to tell her, and she dissolves in tears. Alice shows up to yank Betty out of there, and Polly screams at her mom for not telling her Jason was dead. Orderlies have to drag her away. Family meeting adjourned, I guess.

Back at home, Betty asks her dad Hal point-blank if he killed Jason. Alice seems to break down in tears… but she’s actually laughing: “You think he has the stomach for that?” She says she wishes she or Hal had killed Jason, then adds ominously: “You sound crazy like your sister.” Careful, Betty, and you’ll end up spending time with the nuns soon enough.

Season 1, Episode 6Jughead climbs up a ladder to Betty’s bedroom window — holy Clarissa Explains It All flashback! — and she tells him about her crazy parents. “They’re parents. They’re all crazy,” Jughead reassures her. Then… he goes in for a kiss! And Betty doesn’t seem to hate it… but then she pulls away: “The car!” She remembers Polly said Jason stashed a car for them to run away in; Jughead agrees to go check it out with her. But still: a landmark moment for those of us on Team BettHead!

Betty and Jughead find the car that Jason stashed, along with his letterman jacket in the trunk… and uh-oh, bricks of drugs, too. They tell Sheriff Keller, but by the time he gets to the car, someone’s torched it. And when Betty and Jughead head to The Sisters of Quiet Mercy to bust out Polly, they find she’s already done it herself: Her window is smashed, with blood on the shards, and she’s nowhere to be found. Remember to take your folic acid, Polly: The baby needs it!

Elsewhere in “Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!”:

Season 1, Episode 6GUITAR HERO | Archie has a bad case of stage fright while auditioning for the school’s variety show, and asks Val to perform with him. She can’t without betraying the Pussycats, so Veronica volunteers to duet with Archie. But then Val quits the Pussycats when Josie becomes too controlling, and Archie picks her over Ronnie, so Ronnie decides to get revenge by… joining the Pussycats! That’s right: We’ve got a real live catfight on our hands.

But all’s well that ends well: On variety-show night, Val makes up with Josie and goes back to the Pussycats, and Veronica encourages Archie to perform solo, telling him to “focus on someone that makes you feel safe.” His performance goes great, and he’s so elated afterwards, he runs out and kisses… Val. Not exactly what Ronnie was picturing, we’re guessing.

Season 1, Episode 6CAT’S IN THE CRADLE | We learned a little more about Josie: She’s fanatically driven to succeed, because her jazz-musician dad Miles is the same way. She and the Pussycats absolutely kill it at the variety show with a cover of Donna Summer’s “I Feel Love”… but her dad walks out halfway through, leaving Josie devastated. Man, why are all the parents on this show (besides Fred) all liars, criminals or a-holes?

Speaking of liars: Hermione wants to help Fred land the contract to develop the old drive-in lot. (You know, the one Hiram bought under shady circumstances.) She needs Veronica’s signature as a Lodge shareholder to award Fred the contract, but Ronnie doesn’t like her mom dating Archie’s dad — they’re both still married — so she refuses unless Hermione stops seeing Fred. But Hermione goes ahead and forges her daughter’s signature anyway. Thanks, mom!

Yearbook Notes:

* So are we sure that Polly’s baby is Jason’s? Like, really sure? I assumed so, but when Betty asked, Polly didn’t say anything. Hmmm… could be another twist coming on that front.

* Was Cheryl in this episode at all? If she was, I missed her. (And I did miss her!) Her parents didn’t lock her away in the attic of that Gothic mansion of theirs, did they?

* If Fred only has three weeks’ left of payroll, like Hermione says, what is he doing hiring Hermione? And isn’t their relationship a little weird(er) now that he’s her boss? Forget the fact that they’re both married, and their kids made out once…

* What’s up with that wolf mask Archie had in his drawer? Later on, he had a vision of his football teammates wearing wolf masks in the crowd. Does our red-blooded American boy have a skeleton rattling around in his closet?

* Finally: Archie, you write and perform acoustic folk songs. How do you not know about Bob Dylan’s switch to electric? Start with Blood on the Tracks and work backwards; you’ve got some learning to do.

Got thoughts on tonight’s Riverdale? Drop ’em in a comment below.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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36 Comments
  1. steven says:

    Well, it took 6 episodes, but Veronica finally called Archie, “Arckie-kins”, and someone finally quoted the Josie and the Pussycats theme song.

  2. Michelle says:

    I already assumed she was pregnant, but boy did I love that reunion with her and Betty. Great chemistry. Felt the sisterly bond immediately. #FreePolly…or more like #FindPollyProtectPolly.

    Daddy Cooper is shady and I still think he killed Jason.

    Someone check on Cheryl and see if Mama Blossom has her locked in a basement somewhere.

  3. J says:

    BUGHEAAADDDD

  4. Josh says:

    Feeling the Bughead/Betthead/Jetty Vibes! Also loved the sisterly bond with Betty and Polly. Sucks that Polly didn’t wait for her Baby sis to get here out of there. Seriously where was Cheryl? I missed her.

  5. Erick Voshel says:

    Tonight’s episode was awesome. We finally met Polly & got to know Josie’s background. Can’t wait for the next episode!

  6. Matthew Lawler says:

    So apparently somebody is stalking Jughead and Betty

    so last week I thought that Betty’s dad had stolen the files to protect Betty’s mom but now I’m wondering if Betty’s dad thinks that either Polly or Betty killed Jason

    • Josh says:

      I think its more likely Alice did it then Polly or Betty. Don’t rule out Hal doing it either just cause crazy Alice says he couldn’t handle it . That made me think he did it

  7. Matthew Lawler says:

    Well I’m not surprised by Archie kissing Val tonight because I saw that coming a mile away but it still seems awfully quick for Archie to have gotten over his love for Miss Grundy

    • Sarah94 says:

      I don’t think it was love at all..it was mostly a codependency because she was basically there for him when he discover his love for music, she was is first everything and I think he mistook those feelings of gratitude and lust for something else and she kinda took advantage of that.

    • Pedro says:

      That is how it is when you’re 16.

  8. Rachel says:

    Totally diggin Betty and Jughead

    • Pamela says:

      Same here, I think they are cute together, but I’m not sure the writers will have it last being relationships usually don’t in these types of shows. However long it lasts though, I’m glad my fav character Betty is moving away from the ever growing (and only 6 episodes in!) I love Archie club.

  9. Meghan says:

    I am 100000% Team Bughead

  10. CK3 says:

    I hope Archie has some skeletons in his closet. His character is an utter bore. Heck, even his Dad’s doomed romance is much more interesting. Betty’s out there threatening to drown jocks in hot tubs while losing her mind and he’s struggle to balance his acoustic singing career and football.

  11. ChrisGa says:

    Loving this show. But man are the adults all terrible, miserable human beings (Fred accepted).

  12. lisa says:

    I think it’s a hysterical pregnancy. If it’s not, there is no way keeping her there is legal, even if she is a minor.

  13. wheneveryousmile says:

    OH MY GOD JUGHEAD AND BETTY IM SCREAMING

  14. Gracie Rose Miller says:

    Polly told Betty that Jason wa so excited about the baby.Why do you think they were running away.

  15. Lynne says:

    I’m still on the bet that Betty’s mom killed Jason, one way or another. Where was she and hubby during the variety show? Obviously someone followed Jug and Betty. I’m sure Polly mentioned the car as she was dragged out of the house, so mommy and daddy had to know about it.
    Please tell me that there is going to be some sort of flashback episode showing Riverdale before Jason’s death. I really want to see how his death “changed” Riverdale.
    Also, do we know WHY Mommy and Daddy Cooper hate the Blossoms so much? Besides the fact that Polly and Jason were dating and he apparently destoyed her, why so much hate? Have I missed something?

    • Yes.Last week,Mr Cooper told Betty that a Cooper great grandfather and. Blossom great grandfather had had a maple syrup business together but Mr Blossom murdered Mr Cooper to get control of the business

      • Lynne says:

        That’s right! I forgot about that. I’ve only watched that episode once or twice so I didn’t remember that little detail. Thank you!

    • Well, I can see the Coopers not feeling a need to be at the high school variety show even if they were on the up and up — which I don’t think they are! — because Betty wasn’t performing in it, and they’re not fans of Archie (for reasons that are still unclear). And I can’t see Crazy Alice stooping to cover the show for the local paper — that’s what interns or rookie reporters are for, not the owner/editor/publisher/loony that she is. :)

  16. Doc says:

    I don’t think the show knows what “headlining” means. Shouldn’t the Pussycats have performed last at the talent show?

  17. meetsuma says:

    I just can’t believe Archie was so oblivious about Dylan. Shaking my head at you Archie – please catch up on the legends.

    • marco collins says:

      Even a Gen Xer like Fred might not know of Dylan going electric at Newport in 65 since he(Luke Perry) was born two years after it happened. Like that ATT commercial with the bearded ginger saying all those pop culture references and “Hodor, Hodor” being the only one that wasn’t twenty years old or older. Every generation has their idols and a teenager today wouldn’t know or care about Dylan at all. A more modern reference should have been used. Even citing somebody like Nirvana might be considered old for these fifteen year olds.

  18. rayme says:

    I thought this show had the potential to be Pretty Little Liars style fun and goofy. Dead bodies, evil rich people, mysterious biker gangs, lots of love pairings. But every time it gets good, Archie has to have a little problem that everyone attends to — always with his music. And it’s terrible but everyone acts like it’s good.

  19. ScottJ says:

    Maybe it was a throwaway line but how DID the Coopers find out about Polly and Jason planning to run away together? Polly didn’t tell them. The Blossoms were the only other ones who knew anything, and I can’t see the Blossom parents telling the Coopers. Which leaves Cheryl, who was possibly not as happy with Jason leaving as we’ve been led to believe.

    • Matthew Lawler says:

      Well we know Betty’s mom is not above snooping and spying so I’m sure that’s how she discovered the plan for Polly and Jason to run away together and clearly she is also abscessed with public image so it doesn’t surprise me that she would have her pregnant out of wedlock teenage daughter locked away

  20. Nina says:

    Called it after episode 2 re: pregnancy. But Polly is stil pretty creepy. Her part of the show definitely has a PLL vibe. 9