SNL's Trump Shares His 'Golden' Plan to 'Shower' Country With Jobs

Saturday Night Live kicked off its 2017 run with a not-so-unexpected cold open: A “rebroadcast” of Donald Trump’s mid-week press conference, which focused on unverified reports of the president-elect’s ties to Russia.

In the sketch, impersonator Alec Baldwin began the press conference by assuring the media that “yes, this is real life,” and “yes, this is happening,” before guaranteeing everyone that Mike Pence would become the 46th president of the United States within two months. He then touted the celebrities attending his inauguration, including Angelina Jolie, Ryan Gosling and Jennifer Lawrence — all of whom are being provided by Madame Tussauds.

After eventually agreeing to take questions from the media, the president-elect was bombarded by inquiries about his ties to the Kremlin and the alleged “pee-pee” incident that took place during a trip he took to Russia in 2013.

“I’m not talking about the pee because it didn’t happen,” Trump said, apparently denying the incident, before remarking that “it wasn’t as cool as it sounds.” He then promised to “bring a thick stream of jobs back to this country… the biggest, strongest, steadiest stream you’ve ever seen.”

“This country will be literally showered with jobs, because I am a major whiz at jobs,” he added. “It’ll be a golden opportunity for me as president to make a big splash.”

Later, Trump took a question from a shirtless Vladimir Putin, who asked if the president-elect was sure it was Russia that was behind the alleged hacking that occurred during the election. After holding up a video cassette labeled “Pee Pee Tape,” Trump walked back his comments on Russia, accusing China of any hypothetical wrongdoing.

During the eight-minute opening, Trump also discussed his plans to “replace” Obamacare with the Affordable Care Act, informed the media that sons “Beavis and Butthead” were taking over his business empire, and introduced Family Feud‘s Steve Harvey as a back-up option for HUD Secretary, assuming things don’t pan out with Ben Carson.

What did you think of SNL‘s latest Trump-centric cold open? Watch the sketch again above and then weigh in below.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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18 Comments
  1. Colbert did the pee jokes better on his Wednesday night monologue.

  2. DarkDefender says:

    That was the best cold open ever. Bar none.

  3. Jj says:

    Trump will never shake this golden shower thing which is unfortunate for him because a man is supposed to shake after a long pee.

  4. John says:

    We can only wish that Donnie were as cohesive and disciplined to stay on script. What sense of humor?

  5. Paula says:

    Alec Baldwin is perfect as president (deliberate lower case) elect Dumbo! Keep stickin’ it to The Dumpster!

  6. Valerie Tower says:

    Loved it! Thank you Alec!

  7. Pat says:

    Oh my gosh, thank you SNL and Alec Baldwin. Seriously, this was hilarious and keep it up because you are going to drive Trump out of his mind.

  8. Judith Jenson says:

    Freedom of speech at its best.
    AB & company brings truth with humor. It’s our platform & our message, too. SNL news tells it as it is. Great job SNL!! You take the “edge” off!

  9. smatiyeh says:

    SN&L & Alec — BRAVO !! Best Recourse for America’s Voices Outstanding !!!!! More truth than the news! Keep it up-

  10. Bob says:

    Sorry not funny in the slightest.

  11. Leia says:

    Only a bunch of immature juvenile cowering snowflakes think comedy based on falsehood is funny. Alec Baldwin will lose it again one day, take it out on the press like he usually does, and then what will you say. He’s not funny, he’s malicious.

    • Mary says:

      I don’t think it has been proven a lie. No just because Trump and his paid mouth piece states it is doesn’t make it so. In fact let’s think about this, a man who lives in a gold tacky penthouse and you think it isn’t possible he likes “Golden” showers. Umm interesting. Fact is if the fool learn how to keep his mouth shut and act like a intelligent mature rational human being these shows would have nothing to work with. Ever thought of that.

    • AnnieM says:

      “cowering”?

  12. Q says:

    Hilarious. SNL and Alec Baldwin as Trump just keep getting better and funnier. Love the shirtless “Putin”/journalist with the Pee tape. Perfect.