Mistresses Recap: Pill Street Blues

There are things to celebrate about this week’s Mistresses: the absence of bratty teen Lucy and awful Aussie Kate, the jaw-dropping beauty of Karen’s blue lace dress, and especially the insanity of Lydia dropping in during her boss’ “appetizer” course.

But like Elizabeth Grey sans martini or Josslyn Carver without a zippy punchline, there’s a certain spice missing from Season 4, Episode 10 — and that’s why I’d put it near the very bottom of my all-time Mistresses episodes ranking.

When IRS inquiries, email etiquette and Marc’s music career are hogging screen time that would be better spent on Karen’s sexcapades or the inevitable Joss-Harry confrontation that’s slow-burned like a lump of melted wax and buttercreme frosting atop a month-old birthday cake, it’s time to pick up the pace. And with only three episodes left before the “renewed or cancelled” anxiety kicks in full-force, the time has come for the show’s writers to hit the accelerator.

With that said, let’s recap the action from “Confrontations””

PRESCRIPTION FOR DISASTER | Joss is spiraling more quickly than a mini-Transformer toy’s detached arm down a bathtub drain*. (*A brief insight into the biggest drama in your recapper’s house this weekend.) She’s sleeping on the couch, stealing Rx pads from Karen since she’s run out of her client’s pilfered anxiety meds, and she’s even clashing with her relentless Impact instructor Jackie. The latter chica is pushing her pretty aggressively to talk to the cops on background about the abusive boyfriend who murdered their classmate Marisol, but just the mere mention of legal proceedings sends Joss into bad-flashback mode. She’s waking up in a cold sweat remembering her unjust arrest for the murder of Lucca Raines and her night of horror being taken hostage by bewigged Wilson. At long last, like Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense (spoiler alert that really shouldn’t be spoiler alerted) realizing he’s dead too, Harry finally sees his fiancée stumbling, stuttering, tuning out and looking miserable — and as the episode ends, he tells her he discovered her stash of pills. Please, Joss, don’t storm out of the room. It’s been too damn long since Jes Macallan and Brett Tucker shared a juicy scene — and I don’t want to wait til the season finale to get one.

COWBOY, SEND HER AWAY | April’s mom is the literal worst — giving transphobic monologues in the obviously progressive-leaning Maison Sur Mer, referring to April’s verrry recent ex as “a Peter Pan white boy,” accusing her of bringing “all sorts of men” around impressionable Lucy and (worst of all?) serving “veggie bacon” at breakfast. Joss finally looks at April and demands she “cowboy up” to her mama, the way she’d treat anybody else in her life overstepping their boundaries. Randy, too, who definitely needs to be a series regular if/when Season 5 is announced, gives his boss a pep talk. Sure, she’s a tough boss, but not because he’s gay, but because he breaks stuff. Plus, he “cannot watch old people eat,” so who is he to judge April if she didn’t immediately embrace Michael’s news bulletin about being transgender with grace and sophistication. Voila! April appears to be back in righteous, delightful Season 1-3 form, as she sends Marjorie off to live with some beloved auntie. “I don’t want you out of my life, just out of my house,” she tells her mom. Plus, she sends and email apology to Michael and extends an olive branch voicemail message to Marc. Too bad the latter gent is in a stadium parking lot with Sonja or Sofia or Siri or whatever the hell his ex’s name is. He’s decided, at Harry’s urging, to take his music career more seriously — and he realizes this means he needs to quit their band. “I want you to do it with me,” he tells She Whose Name Will Not Be Remembered by Labor Day. But while he’s obviously talking about making music, he seemingly is also talking about making music (hubba hubba) and they’re smooching eagerly at around the same time April’s leaving her concillatory “can we talk?” voicemail.

THE EAR THAT EAVESDROPS ON THE BEDROOM DOWN THE HALL FROM THE CRADLE | “Definitely do not trust your gut — when has that ever gotten you anywhere?” says Joss, totally earnest, when Karen tells her she and new beau Adam haven’t gotten physical, then wonders if it means there’s something wrong with him. Hot Mama puts on the aforementioned blue lace dress, barely gives her infant daughter a pat on the arm (could someone please create a Tumblr blog recounting all of Karen’s baffling interactions with little Vivian?), and by the end of the night is calling her nanny and asking, “Girl, could you work a few extra hours while I reenact Chapters 6 and 11 of my sexual-awakening memoir Unleashed?”

Little does Karen know, Lydia was the one who initially reached out to Adam via internet dating site, and is now dying inside as the guy shows up and hands her giant bouquets with silica packs and instructions for proper watering and maintenance. This is not the garden that needed tending! When Lydia refuses to work the late shift and later tells Karen she doesn’t trust Adam (a man who’s gone so far as to say Karen’s next step should be to “fall in love with a man who’s truly available to you”), the conversation gets more tense than a Hillary Clinton sitdown with Sean Hannity. “My personal relationships are absolutely none of your business,” Karen seethes in full Alpha Dog mode, and Lydia quickly backs down. The next night, though, Lydia forgets that instruction and lets herself back in to Karen’s pad right as she and Adam head upstairs for their opening course (euphemism fully intended). I can’t tell if she’s shocked, horrified, aroused or enraged as she listens to the sound of her boss and her obsession dippin’ it and doin’ it (TM Wendy Williams), but I sincerely hope next Monday’s episode picks up seconds after this scene left off. I mean, Lydia knows Karen’s history with thruples and nannies — so could you really blame her if she walked through the door and made Karen and Adam an offer they’d definitely refuse?

YOU KNOW THAT HE’S NO GOOD | Harry’s investment in the hotel restaurant — and his salary — are on hold as Jonathan reveals he’s being investigated by the IRS. Every time Jonathan talks, it sounds like an exotic and very expensive riddle. Harry hears him say that early in his career, he frequently had to “choose the deal over the person,” and so, he winds up pushing his manager to make happen a Season 2 of his Food Network series, the better to have leverage to walk away from his partnership with Jonathan. Wait, is Harry’s Plan B to be embroilled in an unwinnable lawsuit or wind up dead in a Dumpster? Or is his willful ignoring of his manager’s advice a sign that he’s been recklessly popping Joss’ pills and they’re impairing his judgment?

What did you think of this week’s Mistresses? Did you find the action a little lackluster? How do you want the season to end? Sound off below!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Kat says:

    Sigh rapidly losing interest

  2. Tennisnsun says:

    I agree this one’s a snore, nothing here that hadn’t been telegraphed for awhile. Next week looks more promising. Keep it moving folks, time’s a wasting!!

    • Tennisnsun says:

      It dawned on me that this season maybe the problem with Mistresses is that there are no longer any Mistresses! I also would truly love to see the season end with April and Ricky Whittle doing some serious finger painting with their bodies. He’s the kind of guy April needs,,,

      • Lisa Echerd says:

        There really never were any mistresses. This show was misnamed from the start. The only one of the original group who was a mistress was Karen and her lover had died before the first episode. Savi had a one night stand but she was the one who was married. Joss got involved with a woman who was separated and I don’t think that makes her a mistress.

        • Tennisnsun says:

          You forgot Karen conceiving Vivian via the threesome with another woman’s husband, even though she sort of had the woman’s permission. That’s what’s been so wonderful about the show. There are no labels for some of the goofier antics. Savi and the guys who have cheated need their own label. Anyway at this point all of them are simply swinging singles playing musical “socks”.

  3. Ken says:

    I thought it was a perfectly serviceable episode and i was never bored. I know the writers/showrunners have ended this season with another cliffhanger. I just hope that ABC gives them one final season to give proper closure to the characters.

  4. Kel says:

    Is it just me or is Karen really annoying this season? I mean she tells the nanny that her personal life is not her business yet she probes the nanny about her plans the previous night when she wouldn’t drop everything at a moments notice and stay so that Karen could sleep with a guy she barely knows! Seems like there’s a bit of a double standard there Miss Karen.

    • mstjames43 says:

      That’s EXACTLY what I thought! Karen was very bold to expect Lydia to simply drop whatever plans she had. Regardless of whether Lydia truly had plans or not, Karen asking “Well, could you possibly change them?” read as very rude and entitled.

    • Lisa Echerd says:

      Yes, if Karen expects the nanny to work round the clock then maybe she needs to make her a live-in. Karen has always annoyed me no end in that she is the worst judge of character ever. She is supposed to be this super therapist but she is constantly being fooled.

  5. sarah j says:

    When we first saw Jonathan I said he was going to be trouble and he is 100%! I hope harry can get out of the contract and move on!
    There was a glimmer of hope that Harry and Joss will eventually be fine. Up until last week I was sure the show was going to break them up and I really hope not! It took all last season for me to like them as a couple and I would be mad if the show breaks them up.
    Lydia has been creepy as heck from the start! I like Adam and I hope that once the truth comes out that April still wants to see him, as it not his fault that Lydia was pretending to be her.
    April’s mom is awful and I predicted by the time April smartened up with would be too late for her and Marc.

  6. GeoDiva says:

    This season is as boring as Karen Kim’s haircut. I’ve stopped dvring it and will just read the recaps.

  7. Ellajasper says:

    The season started out great and is not keeping my attention anymore. Joss is not the same character. I don’t see where Jackie and this Impact business has any part in the show, just boring and ruining Joss’ character. It took April long enough to figure out her Mother’s intentions, and in true soap opera fashion, just as she figured it out, Marc is kissing the old girlfriend. Really, couldn’t come up with a better story than that? Karen, I don’t even know what to say. She was really to fight to the death to keep Vivian, but now barely pays her any attention. The only redeeming thing about last night’s show was that Harry actually figured out the pill situation without dragging it out all season. I want the spunk back in this show. The girls need to be together more. My opinion, but I’m worried it won’t be back if they don’t get it together soon.

  8. Robert says:

    I love the way the show is going

  9. Lisa Echerd says:

    Harry’s sister – I just had to scroll back to see what her name was she is so not missed – is annoying on so many levels. I hope in the next episode they find out she went back to Australia and won’t be returning. She wasn’t in the previews, that’s a good sign.

  10. Sara says:

    I agree Randy needs to be a regular and expanded! Me and all my girlfriends who watch together love him!!!

  11. telegonus says:

    I like the episode. Things are getting tense, with lots of real life vibing conflict. The psychobabble potential is high and yet thus far amazingly (miraculously?) restrained. I hope they can keep it on an even keel, though Joss is clearly flying out of control, her meltdown is none the less riveting and I quite frankly find her predicament heartbreaking. All the more so for her bringing it all down on herself.

    Overall, the episode felt just right for the time, meaning our time, and its apocalyptic resonance, while not pleasant in itself was none the less gratifying as it captured to near perfection the zeitgeist, by which I mean the spirit of our time, and it was not flattering, not for any of us, including the viewers, or maybe I should say this viewer. I think the series has great potential, and I wish all those involved in its creative end the very best.

    Way to go, guys. Don’t back down, Stay on track.

  12. Jess says:

    This show should not be renwed For another season. Lost interest a long time ago the name of. The name of the show should be changed.

  13. I have definitely lost interest as each season came along but am still watching. I obviously missed something – whatever happened with Vivian’s father? I can’t remember his name but wasn’t he and his new wife suing for custody? Thanks to anyone who answers :o)

    • Tennisnsun says:

      He and his new wife just magically disappeared after they and Karen talked and decided that Vivian was in good hands after all with with her. No lawsuit. Of course they haven’t been witness to Karen’s new nutty nanny. If they had been witness they might change their minds again!

  14. I also love the way the show is going