Trevor Noah: If It's Trump vs. Clinton, 'Maybe You Shouldn't Have an Election'

Trevor Noah is convinced that the American populace is “getting into a marriage it’s going to regret” whether it elects Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump as Barack Obama’s successor.

The Daily Show host slammed both the Republican and Democratic nominees on Wednesday in a blistering takedown that referred to them as “Grandma Nixon” and a “traffic cone soaked in raw sewage.” After joking that the decision would be a real Sophie’s Choice, the befuddled comedian suggested that the U.S. skip November’s election altogether if its presidential contenders are a candidate where “just about everything she’s told us for the past year has been a lie,” and a man who thinks it’s okay to praise the work of genocidal dictators like former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein.

“I’m going to be that a—hole friend who tells it like it is — maybe you need to call it off,” he said. “Two years from now you’re going to see your ex walking down the street and you’re going to think to yourself, ‘Man, I didn’t know how good I had it.'”

Press PLAY on the video below to hear Noah’s full criticism of Trump and Clinton, then weigh in with a comment.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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76 Comments
  1. Phun says:

    I don’t think Trevor Noah is a US citizen and if that’s the case, I don’t think he should tell us who we should or should not vote for.

    • It’s a comedy show. You’re free to listen to him or ignore him, but everyone is entitled to have their opinion.

      • Sterling Archer says:

        Saying it’s a “comedy show” implies that Trevor Noah is funny, which he has proven on a nightly basis he is certainly not.

        America’s advice to Trevor Noah; maybe you shouldn’t be on television.

    • peterwdawson says:

      Apply that logic to any other situation. “You’re not a chef? You can’t tell me my food is bad?” “I’m vomiting, sir!” You don’t need to be an American to see how much of a trainwreck this election is.

    • KCC says:

      So only citizens of a country should have opinions about their politicians? I guess the US better rethink it’s foreign policy then. Not only do we voice our opinions about other countries leaders but we impose sanctions, provide military aid and even invaded other countries to change leadership. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.

      • Angela says:

        This. Thank you.

      • Sterling Archer says:

        I would take someone’s opinion more seriously if they didn’t believe that there were only FOUR founding fathers, and that they were all on Mount Rushmore, which Trevor Noah actually told Juan Williams of Fox News.

        • Ryan says:

          There’s a huge difference between understanding modern US politics (and their global impact), and non-recent US history. Current policies aren’t directly informed by our founding fathers or Mt. Rushmore; however, people across the world are directly impacted by US politics. Similarly, my lack of a deep understanding of Russian history doesn’t prevent me from having an opinion on how they run their country.

          Would a perfect understanding of a country’s history help the layman to understand the context of how leaders are elected? Certainly. Is it realistic to expect that? Absolutely not.

          I don’t have a deep understanding of the inner workings of an automobile, but I know that if I get hit by one, it can kill me.

          • Sterling Archer says:

            Trevor Noah seems to understand NEITHER, which is why he looks completely disengaged from every story. Just about all his observations come from a very shallow place, that is when he isn’t giggling to himself as if he’s trying to remind everyone how clever he is,and mugging for the camera.

        • Aneova says:

          You auto failed by listening to Faux.

    • Mary says:

      I don’t believe he was saying who to vote for but that the US options are sad. It is like to be punch in the teeth or kicked in the gut – neither sounds appealing but you have to choice. That said I am choosing the one who ideology I believe in and hope for the best.

    • David4 says:

      Yeah because no one ever can have an opinion unless they live in the country. Brexit anyone?

      • Phun says:

        Yeah. I have a friend from England mocking this whole Hillary/Trump thing going on in the states with all of his FB posts. All of a sudden he’s silent about mocking us after the Brexit vote. Do I return the favor, and mock him…. No…..

    • kirads09 says:

      I am not a Brit (kinda wanna be!) but I definitely had my opinion about Brexit. In the global arena no country exists in a vacuum (albeit North Korea tries very hard). What I am saying is that what other countries do, who they elect etc – affects in large and small ways the rest of us. I don’t think it is a time for any country to become insular. It will take the entire world working together to solve a host of very complex problems and issues. (Stepping down from my soap box now).

    • Cedrik Thibert says:

      Anyway, it’s too late to start complaining. The Electorate chose those 2 clowns as Nominees and you gotta pick 1 of them to be your next President. This is the fair punishment of this whole idiotic mess. USA needs a President and the Electorate has no other choice but to pick one. This failed broken System has finally shown to the people how bad it was. Happy voting, they both suck indeed. :)

  2. Preacher Book says:

    I will take Hillary’s bad eMail usage over Trump’s fake university swindle any day of the week. Still wouldn’t mind if Obama stuck around for another four.

    • Whatevah says:

      ^^This^^

    • Angela says:

      Wholeheartedly agreed on this.

    • iHeart says:

      yes!!!!

    • rinaex says:

      Thank you. I’m not exactly enthused about Clinton, but I’ll take a generic shady politician over a certified nutcase and racist.

    • Lucifer says:

      Yes, because compromising our national security, lying to the public about terror attacks, and adamantly lying about it for years (claiming it was all a conspiracy to get her) is totally alright since she’s been in the white house before and Trump has that university thing which is way worse. Seriously, you people are ridiculous. Not saying Trump is any better, but common sense must not be one of your virtues if you actually think Trump’s university scam is worse than what Hillary did.

      • Mary says:

        I think you are exaggerating a little. Using a private E-mail is not compromising the National security – gee then go after Powell, Rice and I am sure many more. In fact how many times has the Government been hacked, and yet there is no evidence that her server was. It might have been safer in the long run. Neither is my choice but this is what we are stuck with so yes, I’ll take my chances with someone who at least has a clue on what is going on not a loud mouth ignorant Man who is only in it for his Ego.

        • khowse says:

          Really Mary?! Are you just commenting or did you actually watch the video clip above? As Comey and the FBI investigation DID find the Hillary and the use of a private server DID compromise national security as 110 emails over 52 email chains WERE deemed classified. Also, Comey further commented that it was highly likely Hillary’s emails were hacked as well. Wow…news to you right? So, whereas I’m glad you’re not voting for someone who (I agree) has no clue what is going on. But, from your comments, it’s sad and very ironic that you don’t either.

  3. Wendy says:

    I’m voting for Queen Elizabeth II. That whole revolutionary war can be forgiven right? Long live the Colonies of America!

  4. Bin Ho says:

    Mr. Noah is a South African. He should be grateful just to be allowed to live here.

  5. He is South African . He is,of course , allowed his own opinions and ,along with all the other comedians of the world , uses hyperbole for comic effect. But I wish he would not mess up facts while doing so.

  6. matraupach says:

    Finally!

    Finally Trevor Noah shows some balls!

    Finally he goes the way of Jon Stewart! If there is some bullsh*t then you talk about it!

    And if the two candidates with the highest disapproval ratings in the history of their respective parties face of, then you should have only one choice: Go at BOTH!

    Trevor I gave you my trust so many times (that originally Jon Stewart earned over the years) and I give it to you again! this time you didn’t betray my expectations!

    You finally are on the right path!

  7. snazzyo says:

    Excellent clip. It really is where we are at.

    Grandma Nixon vs a Traffic Cone covered in raw sewage.

    But, my fellow Americans, since we will have an election, PLEASE SHOW UP. Do not stay home out of protest. CHOOSE. And a protest vote for Daffy Duck (or equivalent) is like those who voted for BREXIT and didn’t think it would actually happen.

    One of these two is going to be our President. CHOOSE.

    • Mollymoo says:

      The lesser of two evils, is still evil. We’re only a two party system because people decided 3rd party candidates had no prayer and they settle for the Dem/Rep option they hate least. Maybe if enough voters decided they deserved more than the crap we’re getting dished, a viable third party candidate would win. . .

      • snazzyo says:

        I’m all for a third party option but it’s not viable between now and November 8th. Were abou 130 days away. You have two viable choices Trump or Clinton.

        A protest vote means you’ve let others who WILL make that choice do the choosing. A classic case of cutting off your nose to spite your face.

        So, if you can live with EITHER, then go ahead and write in someone. You don’t have a live with NEITHER option.

        Here’s an option—

        Which statement below is worse:
        1) President Hillary Clinton, the 45th President of the United States.
        2) President Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States.

        If you feel slightly more nauseous about one of these statements versus the other, than vote for the one who makes you least nauseous.

        Other options:
        – Leave the US
        – Vote for a random candidate and see one of those two statements come true
        – Get involved with a viable political party and work to get a better choice in 4 years.

        Bottom line : these are BAD CHOICES. THIS reflects how we got here and that process needs changing. But we are HERE.

  8. Mollymoo says:

    Finally, a political sentiment I can get behind. Not that staying the course is a great plan too. I think we just dump the whole playing field and start over.

    • Maria says:

      I agree.
      All I keep thinking is: we have somewhere around 360million people in this country and these two are all we could come up with for the country’s highest office? Really?

  9. Lisa says:

    Could not possibly agree with him more, and ive been an American my whole life. If no sane third party option becomes available I don’t plan on voting in the election this fall. Both Hillary and Trump will spell nothing but disaster for this country. Any remotely intelligent person can see that clear as day. Writings on the wall

    • Gail says:

      I feel truly sorry for anyone who chooses not to exercise their right to vote. The voters of the two parties have made their choices, based on the rules in place. It is time to make your choice from the two candidates. You do not help to change the process, if that is what you want, by sitting on your hands and doing nothng.

  10. Caroline says:

    “Grandma” Nixon? Talk about sexist.

    • peterwdawson says:

      So you can’t call a grandmother a grandmother anymore?

    • B says:

      Oh shut UP! Would you rather she be referred to as Grandpa Nixon then? Or wait…”Gender Neutral Elder-Person Nixon” might be better?

      Grandma for someone of grandmotherly age isn’t sexist; much like Grandpa would be fine as well for a man.

    • You know she is actually a grandmother, right?

    • David4 says:

      Should we call her Grandpa Nixon instead?

    • I am a little confused as to why the article refers to him as befuddled. He is perfectly clear. Trevor has always been a Bernie supporter even though the show won’t let him talk about it on air. This is the closest the writers will let him get to denouncing Hillary.

      To those who keep saying he is not American so he shouldn’t comment should realize two things:
      1.) The U.S. has it’s fingers in every political pie on the planet so the leader of our country is of global importance.

      2.)The people who write for the show are all U.S. citizens. Trevor speaks for them but he doesn’t write it all himself

      • rinaex says:

        Ah, a bitter Bernie supporter. I knew this rant sounded familiar, I’ve seen it over and over again from Bernie supporters declaring that they’d vote for Trump or no one.

      • fiberlicious says:

        He’s befuddled that these two despicable excuses for humans are who we have chosen to compete for the presidency. As am I. A buffoon and a snake – some choice!

  11. Michael says:

    This feels like a no ace, no face, no trump situation to me (unfortunately that is the name of one of the candidates, I’m not referring to Mr. Trump directly). Throw it all away (both parties candidates) and start over.

  12. I think it’s dangerous to equate Hillary Clinton with Donald Trump. You can not be a fan of HRC and still understand that Donald Trump is exponentially worst for this country than Donald Trump.

    • matraupach says:

      Of course is Trump worse than Hillary!
      But the lesser of two evils is still evil!

      The USA are struck with a vote between: death by bullet and death by quicksand…

      so chose which evil is the lesser one and you vote for it…

      What a horrible decision!

      And Trevor Noah is right!

      Trump and Hillary are the only candidates who face off with a chance to beat the other in the election!

      Any other Republican would stomp Hillary to the ground!

      As well as any other democrat would beat Trump to a pulp in an election.

      Trevor Noah is really right: Better call the whole thing off!

      • rinaex says:

        “Better call the whole thing off!”

        Not an option.

        • matraupach says:

          Imagine: You have to vote, and could only vote for Adolf Hitler or Joseph Stalin…

          The choices the voters have right now are not as bad (at least they don’t seem to be as horrible), but if you but some foresight into it, they might be…

          But back to our little image-training: You have to vote between two of the most gruesome mass murderers in history to be your next leader… who do you chose? The lesser evil? That is stupid pragmatism! YOU HAVE TO TRY EVERYTHING TO PREVENT THIS DISASTER! Voting for the lesser evil is NO OPTION!
          Maybe voting for a third party is supporting indirect one of the other evil candidates, but that’s what everybody thinks! If more realize that there are more independents than democrats and republicans in the unites states and that if they combine their votes they could really change the outcome… If more democrats and republicans put their brain together and decide that neither of their candidates is an option… YES THAT is the solution to this lose lose dilemma!

          Right now the USA are heading to a disaster and most likely the whole world will be taken down with them…

          Who thinks, that the lesser evil is not as bad is either blind or brainwashed by propaganda… Remember: Hillary called wars a “business opportunity” , she lies all the time and has already taken back a lot of her promises to her voters (at this very moment she suddenly supports fracking and the TPP and has shut down all plans to stop climate change (although she claims to be against climate change, she is just against doing anything against it) she really says one thing and does the opposite… she is the greatest liar in the history of politics! You think she won’t be horrible ? If thats the case you are delusional….

          Oh and in case o Trump… he is a stupid demagogue, who talks a lot of bullsh*t … he would most likely take everything down out of stupidity and not out of intent.. otherwise to Hillary….

          I think the two are ALMOST opposites to each other:
          Trump is stupid, but is successful.
          Hillary is really smart, but a calculating evil witch.

          Give the nuclear weapons and the power to destroy the earth either to:

          A stupid monkey or to an evil criminal genius.

          I really don’t know who you should chose, because they are both terrible…..

          • Jake says:

            And we have a winner of the Godwin’s Law Prize! Thanks to everyone for playing!…

  13. ScottJ says:

    When a democratic process results in 2 party-selected choices, neither of which the general public want, then there’s something wrong with the process. Democracy my foot.

  14. Cathryne Watson says:

    I will not be watching Trevor Noah again. Equating the most qualified person with a clown, confusing smear tactics with our real hope for a return to peace and prosperity, has done what I thought could never happen. I’m through with the Daily Show until someone else takes over. Who is laughing at Noah’s last two programs?

  15. Jim Kennedy says:

    Whose butt is he kissing?

  16. kirads09 says:

    I try very hard not to get into politics or such here. After all, it is a forum to talk about TV and entertainment. But If It’s Trump vs. Clinton, ‘Maybe You Shouldn’t Have an Election’ – NAILED IT.

  17. BM says:

    I don’t mind comedians or satirists but I mind if they don’t fact-check. According to politifact Clinton is the most honest of the candidates…

    • matraupach says:

      great joke!

      Have you looked at the statements they checked?

      If you look up more harmless statements, then yes you are right…because that screws with the statistics…

      But If you look up WHAT kind of statements of Hillary were false or mostly false… you will be shocked.

      • Jake says:

        And you’d be a frustrated Bernie supporter.

        • matraupach says:

          I wouldn’t call myself frustrated … I am more in disbelieve of the democratic process…

          And right now It doesn’t have to be Bernie … just NOT Trump or Hillary… I mean literally anyone might be better than these two!

    • fiberlicious says:

      That’s a very sad fact. When HC is the most honest in any comparison, the situation is dire.

  18. Bark Star says:

    It is your own fault for fostering a system that only allows the choice between two candidates. Now you have to pay for that nonsense. America should work on that in the future. But for now, american voters have a very simple duty: it does not matter wether you like Clinton or not, you have to do ANYTHING to stop Trump from becoming president. Prove to the world that the american people are not as stupid as they are thought to be and make sure that President Trump NEVER HAPPENS. We will be watching.

    • Mary says:

      I don’t think it is the two party system that is a failure because let’s be real narrowing down the choices is realistic. The failure is the uneducated and fools who put the these two in. Hillary I can understand to a degree but a Man like Trump is unbelievable. I know many are trying to stick it to the GOP but to seriously put a clueless person who in the long run will hurt America shows a mentality of a two year old. I wonder how many of these who voted for him would let him do brain surgery on them because that is what it amounts too.

  19. Jake says:

    Politics aside, this guy should never have gotten Stuart’s slot. He doesn’t have the same intellectual wit, and he can’t even tell a basic joke. Leno’s funnier than this guy.

  20. Peg Homeier says:

    Here’s a reason to cancel the election: none of us will know who ACTUALLY WON because we can’t trust that U.S. elections are free and fair. You want a revolution? I think it’s HERE!

  21. Victoria says:

    Genuinely thinking of not voting or voting Liberterian (although I seem to like every other thing libertarians stand for). For those of you saying to vote, I refuse to vote for a candidate that I can’t believe in. I’m still waiting to see VP picks but right now the pros for Hilary are she’s not Trump and the pros for Trump are he’s not Clinton and that’s it in my opinion. Reminds me of a Game of Thrones meme that says “US election choices be like….” And shows a picture of Ramsay and Joffrey.

  22. Cedrik Thibert says:

    It doesn’t work like that and you know it. You have to pick 1. USA needs a President.

  23. So funny so true

    Damned if u do damned if u don’t in this election

  24. Britt says:

    Sounds to me like a direct response to the negative (whiney) comments found on the YouTube video featuring his wrap-up of the DNC. All the butthurt Berners, up in arms, making a fuss because he had some positive words about the convention. Listen, there are lots of us out here – very liberal people – who loved hearing about the US that Bernie envisioned. But if you think, for one second, that his promises would be fulfilled – you obviously haven’t been paying attention to the political landscape in this country before this election. If you think the conservative, hate-filled, undereducated, gun toting, Jesus- loving, O’Reily Factor faction of absolute idiots were EVER going to stay home on election day and let Sanders into the White House – you obviously have never been to the bible belt. Listen, THEY are the reason Trump was nominated in the first place. LISTEN to his idiotic speeches – because he is speaking into the hearts of these hoosiers and saying everything they have been aching to say – some since before Trevor Noah was even born. Do you think there is any person who has EVER run for public office without lying, flip-flopping or manipulating the system? If you do, it doesn’t surprise me that you’ll consider throwing your liberal vote away – stupid is as stupid does.

  25. Matt says:

    i mean yea obama lies to us really well and keeps us feeling like the world isn’t being destroyed and we aren’t bombing 6 countries and indirectly funding the terrorist groups we’ve sworn to fight.

  26. Nancy B. Fray says:

    Trevor –
    Just a quick note to say CONGRATULATES for your extraordinary reserve, discipline and graciousness in dealing with that idiotic woman (“Toni”?) tonight — especially since she never did answer your very clear question. I was a fan before, and I’m even more of one now. You seem like a really good person, a genuine gentleman — and you certainly proved yourself to be a TRUE PROFESSIONAL tonight! I hope I will be able to enjoy your incredible talent for many years to come!
    Very best wishes – Nancy B. Fray
    Manhattan, NY