“You’re an awful person.”
“Maybe, but I’m rich and I’m pretty, so it doesn’t really matter.”
That exchange, between Chanel No. 1 (played by Emma Roberts) and sorority pledge Grace (Skyler Samuels), should tell you all you need to know about Roberts’ heinous character on Fox’s Scream Queens, which premiered Tuesday.
The new president of Wallace University’s infamous Kappa Kappa Tau sorority, Chanel is incensed when Dean Munsch (living legend Jamie Lee Curtis) demands that Kappa accept any pledges looking to join its ranks, so much so that she decides to scare the motley recruits by fake-dunking their maid’s head in a deep fryer. Only someone decided to turn on the fryer, unbeknownst to Chanel, turning the big prank into a very real murder.
That, children, is how Chanel and her new sisters — including Grace, her roommate Zayday (Keke Palmer) and Hester (Lea Michele), who’s been “obsessed with death” ever since her mom made her kiss her dad’s corpse at his funeral — formed an eternal bond of silence. And although the gruesome killing of Chanel No. 2 (Ariana Grande) at the close of the first hour proved a serious game-changer, it didn’t rattle the Chanels enough to cancel their time-honored Sexy Gopher Whore Head Challenge, which — thanks to the intervention of the Red Devil — claimed the life of “Deaf Taylor Swift.”
But why should the girls have all the fun? Scream Queens‘ series premiere also introduced Chanel’s boyfriend Chad (Glen Powell) — who’s sleeping with Munsch and got his first boner from watching the movie Faces of Death, for whatever that’s worth — and his best friend Boone (Nick Jonas). Now, Boone is the one you really need to keep an eye on; after appearing to meet his maker at the hand of the Red Devil, Boone was revealed to be very much alive at the end of the two-hour premiere, asking the R.D., “What took you so long?” during their rendezvous at the morgue.
And how could I forget Diego Boneta’s “Coffee Donkey” Pete? Grace’s instant love interest, who never wastes an opportunity to remind her he’s an investigative reporter, was revealed to have an interesting connection to Chanel — and by “interesting,” I mean he basically stalked her for a year after she allegedly led him on. He was also (allegedly) the baby born to the dead sorority girl in 1995. But what was up with the Red Devil costume in his closet? Also, did you know that Pete is an investigative reporter?
As you can tell, I have a lot of questions after watching the Scream Queens premiere, but hey, that’s kind of the point. So let’s hear your questions, as well as your general thoughts about the fledgling series, in a comment below.