NFL Kickoff Drinking Game: Get Tanked on Deflategate, Zachary Levi Cameos, NPH Promos and More

The only thing bigger than the hype surrounding Thursday’s NFL Kickoff game on NBC (7:30/6:30c) are the profit margins at your local liquor store. Yes, the special sauce will be flowing tonight as America crowds around their TVs to watch defending Super Bowl champions New England Patriots (led by embattled Deflategate star Tom Brady) take on the Pittsburgh Steelers (led by Ben Roethisnameisimpossibletospellberger).

With that in mind, I peered into my fully inflated crystal balls and created the ultimate TVLine flavored, NFL season opening-themed drinking game. If you’re not (responsibly and age appropriately) smashed by the end of the first quarter I’ll be as embarrassed as Bill Belichick’s stylist.

ONE SHOT every time…

♦ The word “Deflategate” is dropped.

♦ There’s a close-up of Tom Brady’s balls. (His footballs, you perv!)

♦ It’s noted that Roger Goodell is not in attendance — his first season-opening no-show since he was named NFL commissioner.

♦ Sunday Night Football’s 10-year anniversary is brought up.

TWO SHOTS every time…

♦ Bill Belichick’s wardrobe is discussed.

♦ There’s a commercial for upcoming Universal releases The Visit, Everest or Steve Jobs.

♦ Someone makes a bad casino pun while whoring out NBC’s new Thursday drama The Player.

THREE SHOTS every time…

♦ The camera cuts to a star of a new or returning NBC show in attendance. Take two shots if it’s Heroes Reborn‘s Zachary Levi. Take a third if he’s on the sideline.

♦ A football-themed spot for Neil Patrick Harris’ Best Week Ever airs.

♦ You hear the word “Bündchen.” Or you see a Bündchen.

FINISH WHATEVER IS COLD IN THE ICE BOX if…

♦ NBC announces a Sunday Night Football/Chicago Fire/Chicago P.D./Law & Order: SVU/Chicago Med 5-way crossover sweeps event.

♦ Grimm is even mentioned once.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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11 Comments
  1. HeatherC says:

    Haha, this is awesome. I might have to try this, LOL )

    BTW-At the rate NBC is going, if I took a drink every time they showed a commercial for any of the Chicago shows, I’d be completely sober by the end of the evening. I’ve seen their promos on You Tube but they have shown none on the network. I really wish they would spread their promos around more! You’d think their network was nothing but NPH, Heroes Reborn, Blindspot, The Player, and The Voice (though I did see a Mysteries of Laura promo in late night and a random SVU promo the other night during ANW). =P

  2. steven says:

    Why does every recent scandal have the word “gate” in it.

  3. Mr. Tran K says:

    I’m so excited football is back but I really don’t think the Patriots will repeat as champs because of the whole deflating balls debacle. Also excited about what NBC will bring to the table including their revamped Thursday night line-up which I’m looking forward to: Heroes Reborn, Blacklist and The Player. Blindspot does have potential and I’m not in the mood to watch Best Time Ever with NPH.

  4. DreamRose311 says:

    This is hillarious and comes close to making me want to actually watch tonight. I hope they do an updated post tomorrow with the counts of each of these…

  5. Chris says:

    You will definetly be hammered by the time the game starts, deflate gate will be said at least 10 times most likely closer to 20 if I had to guess

  6. c-mo says:

    Michael, this might be your best challenge ever. Nice job!

  7. Sharon says:

    If I could I’d be in it for sure😀.

  8. Rebecca says:

    “My favorite ring is the next one!” Let’s go Patriots!!!!!

  9. James says:

    “close up of Tom Brady’s balls”, that’s hilarious! Too bad I am too late to try this one out