Awkward‘s Jenna Hamilton cannot win. This was true when she broke her arm trying to take a shower in the pilot (four years ago!), and it was definitely true during Monday’s final season premiere.
The blogger extraordinaire found herself at a crossroads when she accidentally learned about Jake and Gabby’s treacherous journey to the bone zone: Should she tell Matty?! Left to her own devices, Jenna probably would have, but after Mama Hamilton reminded her what happened with Eva — I’m sorry, who dat? — she agreed it was best to mind her own business.
Meanwhile, Matty remained blissfully ignorant — his natural state — for most of the premiere, offering a glimmer of hope that the home stretch of senior year might not be a total train wreck. But this is Awkward we’re talking about, so of course Jake had to tell Gabby that Matty planned to break up with her in Mexico, and of course Gabby had to tell Matty that she slept with Jake. The subsequent Matty-on-Jake violence was to be expected, but the fact that Matty also wrathed-out on Jenna for assuming she’d kept this from him simply reinforces my earlier assertion: She. Cannot. Win.
In fact, not even Jenna’s relationship with Brian could survive the perilous premiere! After taking off her “vacation goggles,” she realized there was no chemistry between them. (This line, by the way, was brilliant: “He was a beautiful man to behold, so why didn’t I want to be holding him?”) Of course, there’s still a good chance she’ll see him again at Tamara’s wedding; not only did Jenna’s whacked-out BFF not call things off with Adam, but she set a freaking date for their big day!
Elsewhere, Sadie reluctantly reunited with her estranged mother, and Flotsam and Jetsam — I’m sorry, “Theo and Cole” — took time out of their busy schedule of judging basics to pull off the ultimate senior prank. Also… has anyone checked on Val’s cats?
Awkward fans, are you glad Matty and Gabby finally split? How far do we think Tamara will take this wedding business? And how surprised were you that Jenna’s mom referenced Eva? (Seriously, I thought we agreed to forget she existed!) Grade the episode below, then drop a comment with your full review.