Mistresses Recap: Girl Pleas

Remember the innocent days when everybody on Mistresses was indulging in steamy sex, icy cocktails and the kind of salacious fun on which the Parents Television Council built its mailing list?

Now, here we are in the penultimate Season 3 episode, and it’s all plea deals, (possibly/insanely) false confessions, faltering livers (totes unrelated to the aforementioned tippling, thanks very much), relapse revelations and evenings spent Googling Las Vegas air-conditioning magnates.

Quick! Somebody grab Karen’s hooker wig, Joss’ living-room toilet (remember that?), a half-dozen overpriced candles from Karen’s April’s shop, all the high-end vodka in Calista’s mansion, and a scrapbook of shirtless snaps of the ladies’ myriad exes: Because while I have unfailing faith that showrunners Rina Mimoun and K.J. Steinberg wouldn’t end next week’s season- and possibly (blasphemy alert) series-finale installment on such a grim note, I can’t pretend I’m not stressed out by the unsettling action of this week’s hour, “Reasonable Doubt.”

I’m on vacation right now — so don’t get cross if I’m pithier than uzh* — but let’s recap the action, shall we? (*Yes, I’m trying to make a text-y abbreviaysh of usually happen — just go with it.)

YUNJIN KIM, SONJA BENNETTKAREN | Why does it hurt the most when Karen cries? Maybe it’s because if a licensed psychiatrist with a Miss America pageant figure and a gorgeously minimalist apartment can’t find a shred of human happiness, then the rest of us are as doomed as the last Oreo in the sleeve. Anyway, this week Karen goes to the doctor with Vivian — and learns the lady-love side of her thrupple has a failing liver — and few options outside experimental treatments. Alec, however, is less than 48 hours away from receiving a lifetime achievement award at a black-tie gala, so Karen agrees to keep Vivian’s condition a secret, even going over to her erstwhile lovers’ place to help Vivian get prepped (and hide her telltale back rash). Alas, though, they don’t even get out the front door when Vivian collapses — and despite Karen’s hasty 9-1-1 call, the lack of Sonja Bennett in next week’s previews has me worried Karen will be repurposing her black shawl for a funeral.

MICHAEL NORTHEY, ROB MAYES, ROCHELLE AYTESAPRIL | Long story short, just as Marc gets up the courage to ask April to go to a concert — isn’t that a first date only for people in their early-to-mid-20s? — his sister Miranda returns with a new fiancé and a plan to move Scotty to Las Vegas. Marc is gobsmacked, shellshocked and all those other old-fashioned words that mean he’s visiting wtf.com. But when April sticks up for the way he’s stepped up on Scotty’s behalf — during a very logical family meeting outlining why he shouldn’t be uprooted mid-school year — Miranda (Florida swamp vermin that she is) drops this bombshell: “Was he stepping up when he fell off the wagon two weeks ago?” Ugh — I hope those concert tix are refundable, and that Miranda’s next cruise experience includes at least two feet of raw sewage in her cabin.

JES MACALLAN, JENNIFER ESPOSITOJOSS/CALISTA | The police have become convinced that Joss and Calista conspired to kill Luca — which is why neither of ’em is rocking designer duds — and stuck in those terrible blue jumpsuits — for another week. Calista starts a fairly tame prison-yard brawl with her old BFF — Joss’ end-of-scuffle kick is pretty bad-ass though, no? — in order to get placed side-by-side in solitary, but whaddaya know, Joss has absolutely no interest in pow-wowing get-out-of-jail-free strategy with the woman she now views as being ruled by “blinding narcissism, selfishness, and deceit.” And, if that’s not enough of a crisp slap, Joss observes each and every one of Calista’s “friends” is on her payroll. “I wanted you close because I really loved you,” sighs Calista, before apologizing. But you’d have to be crazier than Elizabeth Grey (Season 1 watchers, that A+ reference was for you) to trust the sexy-slurry-sadistic fashion designer, wouldn’t you? Joss prepares to take a plea deal of 10-12 years (one in which she incriminates Calista), while Calista’s lawyer suggests her client confess to a “trap Luca in infidelity” plot that led to Joss losing her mind and pulling the trigger. Sure, there’s a chance Calista might actually be guilty — wouldn’t it be a really cool twist if she dunnit? — but chances are, both women are grappling with telling lies to save their own hides or else sticking with the truth and both doing hard time? The hour closes, rather surprisingly, with Calista overhearing Joss’ tearful phone call to her mom, and then foregoing counsel and confessing that, in fact, she is the one who murdered Luca — with no help from Joss.

JENNIFER ESPOSITOThis raises two big questions: Will Calista’s admission end the search for Luca’s true killer? (All together now: “It was Wilson!”) But more importantly, is Calista’s act of selflessness big and bold enough to earn a second shot at friendship with Joss (and the possibility of Season 4 mimosas with April and Karen — and hopefully Ari)?

I leave that to you. What did you think of Mistresses‘ second-to-last Season 3 outing? Will Vivian die? Should Marc and April at least dip their fingers in the paint jar before calling it quits? And will Calista actually go down for her husband’s murder? Sound off below!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Ryerson says:

    This season has been exceptionally fantastic. I really DO hope ABC will renew Mistresses for a fourth and final season rather than just ax it like that. It does worry me though.. The astronaut wives club had more viewers and had higher ratings that Mistresses most recent numbers and the show was cancelled… Does that jeopardize Mistresses’ future? Hopefully not. And why do I have this HUGE feeling that the person who killed Luca was Marc’s sister who was supposedly “on a cruise” ? I cannot wait for the finale!

    • May says:

      The Astronaut Wives’ Club was always supposed to be a one season only show. It was never cancelled.

    • novelattitudes says:

      I agree that this season has been really engrossing! The ridiculous plot lines are done in a way that make the characters (including even Calista) realistic and vulnerable and enjoyable. I was actually never a huge fan of the character of Savi. I think she seemed to take advantage of every other character, and this world tour actually seems very fitting for that character to gain some sense of certainty in her life.

      Blog: http://www.novelattitudes.com

  2. Marcie says:

    It’s April’s shop, not Karen’s.

  3. Jules says:

    Too little too late with that confession Calista…this does not redeem her of throwing Joss under the bus initially. No way, she’s not forgiven.
    I’m not really bothered if Vivian dies…I’ve always seen her as an obstacle between Alec & Karen.
    I Hope David sticks around for longer than 1 season…he can be the fourth ‘Mistress’.
    Gotta give it to the writers..S3 has been the best so far and they’ve done it so well, Savi’s absence has not been felt.

    • Rook says:

      I don’t know, I think it will for Joss. Yes, Calista is the reason she was in prison in the first place. But I think her time there will make her sympathetic to Calista because she just confessed (presumed to something she didn’t do) and is going to spend the rest of her life there.
      This will cause Joss to find the real killer in the next episode and get Calista freed.
      Or they’ll do a cliffhanger where Joss finds the killer and gets attacked leaving her fate in question.

  4. chantelle says:

    OMG !!!! This season is so sooo amazing !!! And I’m sorry but I really like Calista … yea she’s messed up … but her past ain’t the best either .. I totally think Wilson killed luca hands down !!!! And I do hope Joss and her reconnect at done point I had a soft spot for Calista tonight …. and OMG harry !!! Wasn’t he the best tonight !! For once looking to the future ! As far as the trio relationship I’m all for Vivian and Karen I personally think they should ditch Alec . He’s kind of a downer.And last April … love her I really feel ditching Blair was great ! But I really would like her to go back to DANIEL !!!!

  5. lcagee says:

    This is really a pretty good show. Very well written, good acting, good characters and nothing too ridiculous. One of the best shows on tv.

  6. Nicole says:

    Wouldn’t it be awesome if it wasn’t wilson (my guess too) and Luca either faked his own death or it was Calistas lawyer?

    • Paula says:

      Love The lawyer idea! With Calista in jail she probably has power over all of her assets. Brilliant! Marc and April make such a cute couple. Really loving the vibe from those two.

  7. Nicole says:

    Oh and I LOVE Marc and April together!

  8. robandco says:

    I know it probably won’t happen but I wish Joss’ sister was back for the finale. Like pregnant with a husband that lives far away so it can completely justify her being away and out of the show.
    But the writers of the show have done a really great job this season. Alyssa Milano was one if not the biggest name of the cast back when the show premiered, and now they rendered her character completely unnecessary in the dynamic of the show.
    I hope the show gets renewed.

  9. Erin B says:

    I really hope we get closure on the case in the finale just in case it isn’t renewed. I really, really hope it’s renewed, but I’m trying to be realistic. I don’t want there to be a cliffhanger on who really did the killing. I don’t think Calista did it. If she was setting Joss up, she wouldn’t have confessed like that.

  10. Leanna Reddick says:

    I think that Wilson guy did it.

  11. jordana says:

    I love this season and haven’t missed Savi at all. It would be a shame if we didn’t get a 4th season. However, it is strange that Savi doesn’t know about Joss’ situation. Despite her anger, I’m sure she would run to Joss’ defense to help her navigate the legal system. I like Calista and her relationship with Joss. She may have screwed over Joss, but in the end, she made the ultimate sacrifice for her friend. Calista’s lawyer is awful; I found it hard to believe that no one wanted to be a character witness. What about Wilson? Didn’t he adore Calista? I know people think he’s the murderer, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were the lawyer, who seemed a little too eager for Calista to take the plea.

    Harry was really sweet in this episode, and I hope they he and Joss will be able to be a real couple. Ari is an interesting character. I hated that they made her hit on Harry, but the fact that she dealt with it so professionally, made me like her even more. If Joss goes away, I’d love to see her as the 4th mistress with her own story.

    “Swamp vermin”, LOL. Miranda really is a piece of work. She was OK with leaving Scotty with Mark in a trailer for 3 months, but now that she wants to take Scotty back, suddenly Marc isn’t good enough. Anyway, her experience with her mother, I think it’s going to be very hard for April to trust Marc. But I still think there’s hope for those two.

    Poor Karen. Not much else to say. I’m guessing Vivian will pass away and then Alec will be furious with Karen for not letting her know, but they’ll be forced to stay in each other’s lives because of the baby.

    • #renewkilljoys says:

      My theory, although crazy, what if Savy did all of this as her revenge against Joss??

      • robandco says:

        That is the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen. Since they pretty much ruined her character why not go all the way? But alas, this is primetime TV, not a telenovela or a daytime soap opera… But it would be so fun.