Sharknado 3 Best Worst Moments

Sharknado 3: Here Are 40 of the Bad, Worst, Silliest and Shilliest Moments

Syfy’s Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! touched down on Wednesday night, leaving in its wake myriad mauled corpses, an impaled White House and — if all went according to plan! — a 17 percent bump in attendance at the Universal Orlando Resort.

To be clear— and this is coming from a guy who devoured Sharknado 2 not once but twice — the third time was not the charm. In fact, it was quite dreadful by most any measure. The threadbare plot was all over the place, not unlike the “sharknado wall” that ravaged the East Coast from D.C. to Orlando (home of the Universal Orlando Resort!). Gone was any semblance of cleverness, either in the dialogue or kills, while knowing winks were replaced with groan-worthy cutaways to C-list entertainment personalities you were dared to recognize.

If the final five minutes hadn’t been teeming with bats—t-crazy ridiculousness, I’d be even less forgiving. But I’ll be damned if Tara Reid giving birth inside a sharkwhile staying clothed… didn’t almost make up for the preceding 115 minutes. And there’s the promise of Sharknado 4!

Here now, a visual rundown of the threequel’s worst dialogue, silliest moments and most whorish corporate synergy. (P.S. I’m not here to do a headcount of every celebunot, so don’t get bogged down with, “But Matt, you forgot to mention that local DJ’s cameo!”)

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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26 Comments
  1. AngelWasHere says:

    I said it! April baby is going be delivered in the shark and it happened! Wasn’t expecting to have the hand poke through tho. I died laughing at that! Then Malcolm getting his limbs eaten was pretty funny too.

    I gotta say tho that this Sharknado was the worst. Not in a good way either. Not enough jokes. It was even kind of boring. What happen?

    • Matt Webb Mitovich says:

      It was extremely boring, even by Sharknado standards. Save for the final sequence, it was simply shark after shark landing/chomping on D-list cameo after D-list cameo.

      • AngelWasHere says:

        Yeah I have to agree. “Kind of boring” was me being too nice. It was just flat out boring. Lots of talking with no memorable lines. Some deaths that weren’t clever or even exciting. Some moments that were just too cheesy to be funny. Barely any cameos you recognize or care about. It just fell flat. It didn’t even come close to the epic WTFness of 2! Now they’re making a 4….*sigh*

  2. Tom says:

    They’ve made THREE Sharknado movies now and here we are ten years later and no hope at all in sight for Serenity 2. Suburgatory and Selfie are off the air, Community’s pretty much flatlined. But by all means, let’s keep pumping out Sharknado movies. Seriously, this is the darkest timeline. I want to live in the good timeline where great shows are watched this kind of stuff isn’t.

  3. brandi says:

    April is so dead. Nobody likes Tara Reid.

    • Davin says:

      I hope so, she’s been consistently the worst part of the series so far, she completely brings you out of the experience every time the movie cuts to her. I joked about the series being about the birthing of the chosen one when I was watching this with friends, the sharknadoes cohercing Fin and April so they can make a baby that’ll be the new Shark God. Well, that’s done and April is no longer needed, just let Nova be with Fin.

    • Robby says:

      Word. I typed “#aprildies” about 100 times. Which is hard for me cause I have a cousin named “april”, and I like her. But not Tara Reid.

  4. brigitte says:

    After the first 15 minutes I remembered that cocktails are required. Absurdity achieved!

  5. Big Mike says:

    Jesus.
    Tap Dancing.
    Christ.

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  8. adam says:

    I think all the comments about the Daughters hair color change, was the movies way of trying to make a joke about the daughter being played by a different actress. Since Aubrey Peeples originally played the daughter.

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  10. the worst thing about the movie was at the end when they announced a 4th one. Really?

    • Jack says:

      Why would there not be a 4th one? Of course there would be. And I am sure they are planning the fifth, as well.

  11. Sharknado 4: Bloody Hell – Taking place in London heh. I just sat back and laughed.

    My favorite. A Wisconsin-flick … err Cheesy B-Movie. I love these.
    .
    1) Check your brain at the door
    2) Don’t expect good writing, directing and/or acting
    3) They are called “low budget” for a reason!
    4) “Oscar? We don’t need no Oscar!”
    Sit back, relax, laugh and enjoy the ride!

  12. Robby says:

    The #aprillives/dies think reminds me of something DC comics did in Batman. The story was called “A Death in the Family” By Jim Starlin and Jim Aprao. The story focused on the second Robin, Jason Todd, trying to find his birth mother. The trail led him and Batman to Africa. When Robin finds out his mom is crooked, he confronts her (as Jason). Only to find her business partner is The Joker. Joker beats Jason within a inch of his live. Punches the mom for bringing Bruce Wayne’s ward there. Joker sets a bomb with Jason and mom inside the warehouse. It explodes and Batman finds Jason.

    The hook was that there were two 1-900 phone lines. One for Robin to live and the other for him to die. Voting lasted a week after the comic was released, and the result would be shown in two weeks after the first issue. Jason Todd died (but he got better in about 13 years).

    I think it’s the same for April. No one like Jason Todd just like no one likes Tara Reid.

    And besides, people are sick.

  13. olivia says:

    I hated the part where Billy died I loved him so so much and they have to kill him off that’s bullcrap

  14. msbellalugosi says:

    They have no incentive to even try and make it clever anymore like they did with 2 and arguably 1, because people will keep watching no matter how crappy it is. And 40% of people voting here gave it an A. B movies are good when they are funny & self aware, this was neither of those things. It was boring and there were WAY too many cameos of people that barely anyone knows.

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