The Bachelorette: 8 New Twists (Comedians! Shondaland! Wild Bears?) That Would Actually Shock Us

Chris Harrison’s announcement on Monday that The Bachelorette‘s 11th season would kick off with its 25 male contestants choosing between Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson as their pursuer was perhaps less “shocking” — and in fact, more depressing — than the chipper host had anticipated.

Really, ABC? Building the foundation for one woman’s “fairytale” on the quickly pulverized dream of another doesn’t actually sound that romantic – or even fun.

Which got us thinking: What could the network do to freshen up its aging reality-dating franchise? We sat down and brainstormed eight out-of-left-field ideas — involving Amy Schumer, Serena Williams, Ronald McDonald and more! — that (call us crazy) might actually work.

So, click through the gallery below for our Bachelorette reboot plans — then hit the comments and share your own!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Steven says:

    I’m all for the Bear version. But only if they’re Cancellation Bears.

  2. Lisa says:

    No Asians, Latinas, and Arabs for The Bachelorette because they’re too shy to give date cards and make moves, due to cultural reasons, their parents will be mean to anyone who looks different from them and force them to send them home as well as force them to choose those who are the same when they don’t like them. African Americans would definitely be great for The Bachelorette since they are less restricted by their families and are open to dating all sorts of people unlike Asians, Latinas, and Arabs and are willing to give date cards and make moves. Even though I’m Asian myself with White ancestry on both sides, it’s just that I don’t see Asians or any other minority that isn’t African American as the Bachelor/Bachelorette due to their cultural upbringing. Asian, Latino, and Arab men tend to be more sexist and chauvinist compared to African American men. Remember Juan Pablo’s (Latino) sexist and chauvinist attitude last season of The Bachelor? He did really awful and I don’t think Asian, Latino, and Arab men can ever be The Bachelor. Only African Americans can because they’re less sexist and less chauvinist which is why they’re more desirable than other minority men. And trying to have Sharleen Joynt (Asian) as The Bachelorette last season would be just as bad because her Chinese mother would be mean to anyone who isn’t Asian or so, especially Whites, and force her to send them home. So in other words, African-Americans would be better minority Bachelor/Bachelorette leads due to having a more flexible culture than other minorities. I know other minorities as The Bachelorette will have bad seasons due to having strict families who will interfere and insult anyone who’s different from them.

  3. Jess says:

    OMG! SO much delightful snark in this post! Hilarious! And a far more appropriate response to this silly Bachelorette announcement than all the rage. I mean – it’s not like this was a powerhouse of femininity.

    The Amy Schumer idea is great! She’s eat every vapid, fame-whore, male contender alive. And I’d love every minute of that.

  4. Actually, the genius and the over 40 bachelorette aren’t half bad ideas. Maybe a dose of maturity, intelligence and class would benefit this aging mess. And the same for the bachelor.

    • Kicks says:

      Totally agree. Sometimes I’d like to see more mature people on the show. Have the women at least be in their 30s.

  5. Patrick says:

    Lets face it, ABC has realized what people want. And that is to see good looking people make fools of themselves. So they seek out fame hos, liquor them up, and let them go crazy. Then edit it in the worst possible manner.

  6. Lyn Jensen says:

    I do like the idea of having a dating show for people in their 40s and 50s but that would be a different show: Maybe a spin-off, “The Bachelor(ette): Over 40” or something like that. I’m sure there are plenty of good-looking successful middle-aged singles who would be happy to apply.