Quotes of the Week From Scandal, Suits, Jane the Virgin, SNL and More

And the award for Best TV Zinger by a Protagonist’s Mother Throwing Shade at Clueless Minions goes to…

Mmm-hmmm, it’s Oscar Sunday — but we’re handing out trophies of a different variety by honoring 28 LOL-inducing pieces of dialogue via Quotes of the Week.

This time around we’ve got a fear of carbs on Person of Interest, a Star Wars reference on Justified, a Broadway review on Scandal, a terminating moment on Two and a Half Men and so much more!

Click through the gallery below for all that and more — then hit the comments to share your faves, plus any statuette-worthy one-liners we inevitably missed!