Quotes of the Week From Downton, Parks and Rec, Grey's Anatomy, Arrow, Empire, Fresh Off the Boat and More!

‘Twas the weekend before Valentine’s/ And all through the house/ Not a creature was stirring/ Thanks to insane DVR backlogs…

It’s OK — we won’t judge you for staying in your jammies and watching TV all day. In fact, we’re showing our support by bringing you Quotes of the Week!

This time around we have the wisdom of the Dowager Countess, a lesson in racial harmony from Empire, a wig-snatching interlude on Wendy Williams, a small-town stop on Person of Interest, an old-school soap reference on Jane the Virgin, plus double doses of Grey’s, Arrow and much more!

So click through the gallery below for the full shebang, then hit the comments and tell us any great zingers we inevitably missed!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. A says:

    I loved Felicity’s and Rogelio’s quotes this week!

  2. Me says:

    This is rigged :-).. surely Kai from TVD delivered some good lines this week

  3. dude says:

    My personal fav Rogelio quote on Jane the Virgin this week, “Have a muffin, they’re mini so you can eat as many as you like without gaining back your fat.”

  4. holly says:

    felicity.. you crushed my heart. Kudos to stephen and EBR for such a gut wrenching perfomance

  5. dude says:

    Why does Felicity get one in every week even when her quotes aren’t good?

  6. Baggy says:

    Honestly I was a bigger fan of Felicity’s quote (paraphrased) “You know ‘I need some air’ really means I don’t want to talk right now, right?.”

  7. evababy says:

    Empire had so many great quotes. How can you pick just one… or even two….

    Cookie: ‘The name’s Cookie. Ask about Me.”

    Lucious:”Let’s look at it from a mathematical perspective. Your girlfriend has a girlfriend. Add that up.”
    Hakeem: “Two?”
    Lucious: “Two girlfriends, It’s a mathematician’s dream! It’s trigonometry.”

    Jamal: “You too dumb to play stupid.”

  8. Tran says:

    Jimmy Fallon makes me laugh during his monologues.

  9. BrightLight says:

    I’ve been laughing at Rogelio’s “Passions” line all week mainly because I remember how much of my life I spent watching that show…and how much I still miss it.

  10. Briggs says:

    I love Peggy. :) I just do.
    Oh, my baby. I didn’t know you knew that language, Cisco. But the sentiment, I’m totally behind.
    I watched the clip, and I thought it was fantastic. Oh, the ’90’s fashion. I loved the recreation, don’t get me wrong. But I’ve only just started not cuffing my jeans…
    We don’t get Bravo, but that might be for the best. George is taken, sweetie. Live with it.
    You mean Dean didn’t get that puberty was rough the first time?
    There are worse people to be mistaken for. At least Roy kept his mind on the job.
    Felicity making us laugh and cry in the same episode. Yup, this is Arrow.

  11. aunni says:

    kudos to EBR, it was beautifully painful if that makes any sence

  12. jana says:

    Felicity all the way my pure angel

  13. Mel says:

    What about Meredith and her sister! When Mer says she can cut the part and Maggie answered that was her finger! Funny!

  14. Ella says:

    You’re missing the best one from Supernatural:
    Sam: “Dean, I am way too big to fit in that.”
    Dean: “First time you ever had to say that, huh?”

  15. CArmani says:

    Donna’s quote from Parks and Rec was so good! Her delivery on point! And to add to it, April’s close up of her shocked face was hilarious. Definitely my favourite quote of the week.

  16. Isobel says:

    Juliette on Nashville giving Avery three whole shelves in her closet was funny

  17. brenna says:

    Felicity is the best. She does funny and sad equally wonderful. SA tweeted “And Oliver thought an arrow through the stomach hurt…” I think most of us agree with that!

  18. Arsenal says:

    I liked Teen Dean’s lines where he says something about “I got no grass on the infield.” and “I wake up looking like Bieber.” No bonus quotes for Supernatural, though.

  19. Jennifer says:

    Umm why no questions article last week?!?!?