Quotes of the Week From Scorpion, Revenge, The Nightly Show and More!

We’re still a week away from Super Bowl Sunday, but you’ll be doing a touchdown dance in the end zone after reading TVLine’s Quotes of the Week.

Yep, we’re back with a collection of the best retorts, zingers and one-liners from the last seven days of small-screen proceedings — and there’s not a single flag on the play. (Did we use that sports reference correctly? Please say “yes,” even if the answer is “no.”)

This time around, we’ve got a zoological truth courtesy of Revenge, Martin Luther King Day wisdom from The Nightly Show and Late Night, strip-club concerns on Bad Judge, a parenting fail on Episodes and much more!

So click through the gallery below for the full roster of quotes, then hit the comments and share any great one-liners we inevitably missed.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Jane says:

    A better Late Night quote would have been Lauren Graham’s response when Rainn Wilson and Seth were complaining about shaving their faces twice a day.

  2. Kate says:

    There was no doubt about what quote would come from Castle this week. Naughty Beckett is awesome! I haven’t watched Galavant, but those funny quotes made me think that maybe I should.

  3. Cobra says:

    That Dewey Crowe quote from “Justified” was pure gold. Dewey was a great character, and he shall be greatly missed.

    Bonus “Justified” quote right here:
    “Good things happen to those who wait for stupid.”
    “I think that was in the Sermon on the Mount.”
    -Raylan and Tim discussing their surveillance of Dewey

  4. No “Mom”‘s “I’ll tell everyone that you hit me” “-I’ll probably get a standing ovation”

  5. Tran says:

    Hope there’ll be more hilarious quotes from Larry Wilmore in the coming weeks.

  6. SPAMMER says:


  7. Paige says:

    Wu on Grimm: “I don’t know what you are but you’re no Aswang.”

  8. TvPeong says:

    I laughed when Wells said that line on Flash :)