Quotes of the Week From Galavant, The Simpsons, Episodes and More!

Have you put your holiday decorations away yet? If so, reward yourself by reading TVLine’s Quotes of the Week!

If not, well, you might as well procrastinate by catching up on the best retorts, one-liners and zingers from the last seven days of television.

This time around we’ve got dead-body humor on The Simpsons and American Horror Story: Freak Show, an Oprah reference from Wendy Williams, some gluten-free humor on Hindsight, one last look back at the Golden Globes and so much more!

So click through the gallery below for the full roster of quotes, then hit the comments and share any great one-liners we inevitably missed.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Christine says:

    Ha, there should have been a Mom Bonus quote with Violet’s comeback: “….and I’m only using the word chicken because you’re my mother.” That was priceless :)

  2. Karen says:

    Adam Lambert on American Idol after Harry Connick Jr. talks on behalf of a contestant’s bear, mentioning Lambert’s handsomeness:

    “I’m really not into bears”😄

  3. Corastacy says:

    Love the Forever quote, except it was Hanson not Henry that made fun of Lucas’ fake gun skills ;)

    Forever is an awesome show with great writing, If you are reading this and haven’t checked it out, you totally should!

  4. Randi says:

    I love the HINDSIGHT quotes! Thank You TV Line for introducing me to this wonderful show.

  5. Mara says:

    The best quote this week was from Lindy to Sophia in Eye Candy, “I’m living my life. And a man doesn’t define it.”

  6. Byron says:

    VERY surprised that Santana’s lengthy rant at Kurt didn’t make the cut here, I thought it was rather brilliant!

  7. herman1959 says:

    There’s a better quote from Marvel’s Agent Carter: the police were mourning their fellow detective after he was killed and the mood was SO sad. THEN the lead detective says “I’ll call his wife, and someone else says I’ll call his girlfriend – I cracked up! I love this show.

  8. Constantine: “I’m John Constantine, I do stupid in spades.”


    SO glad to see the Middle getting recognition for it’s great writing! Love that show.

  10. JKR says:

    Downton’s Golden Girls had a great exchange…

    Isobel: Surely servants are people too.

    Violet: Yes, preferably on their days off.