Bachelor Season Premiere: Who Got Chris Soules' First Impression Rose?

The Bachelor Season Premiere

“Love is a lot like farming,” mused Chris Soules on Monday’s Bachelor season premiere, a metaphor that can also be applied to the episode itself, which was basically a three-hour parade of clucking, weeding and — at one lady’s polite behest — plowing.

Soules may have bestowed his “first impression” rose upon 27-year-old waitress Britt — of course he’d pick the normal girl, right? — but we at TVLine have curated a list of ladies who made pretty strong first impressions on us. Let’s begin:

* Amanda, the 24-year-old ballet instructor with eyes that can pierce into your very soul — and not in a sexy way. More like an “I’m going to drag your stuffed corpse down the aisle” kind of way.

bachelor-heart* Reegen, the 28-year-old cadaver tissue saleswoman who gifted Soules with a “fake” heart in a cooler. (She knows this isn’t One Tree Hill, right?)

* Tandra, the 30-year-old who entered on a motorcycle like she’s freakin’ Jo from The Facts of Life.

* Mackenzie, the 21-year-old dental assistant with a son named Kale. She didn’t actually do anything noteworthy this week; I just thought it was really important to stress that she named her son after a trendy vegetable (not to mention Kale’s younger siblings, Brussels and Sprout).

* Alissa, the 24-year-old flight attendant with the terrible pick-up lines. “Smoking is not permitted on this aircraft,” she joked. “Unless you’re smoking hot. Hi, Chris!” Bye, Felicia Alissa.

* And last — but certainly not least — Tara, who was so drunk that she admitted she “almost fell” during the rose ceremony. Bless her heart.

While not all of our favorite crazies made it into Soules’ top tier, a generous handful managed to sneak their way in. Here’s the full rundown of his picks:

Ashley I.
Ashley S.

(You can take a closer look at all of tonight’s women in our handy gallery.)

Tell us, dear TVLine readers: Which of Soules’ ladies would you have given a rose to, and which of his picks were straight-up mistakes? Drop a comment with your take on tonight’s premiere below.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. phantom says:

    I’ve never seen a second of The Bachelor, I only read this because I was intrigued by the ridiculous “first impression rose” concept mentioned in the headline, but I must say, I laughed my face off reading this. I still won’t check out the show but I may read the recaps, funny as hell.

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  3. Tran says:

    Still can’t stand ABC and The Bachelor. How did Chris Soules’ nickname himself PRINCE FARMING? For three crappy hours, all I need is a real goodnight sleep.

    • Angela says:

      Oh, lord. I know my state’s known for farming and all (when we’re not getting mixed up with Idaho or Ohio, that is), but really?

  4. Iakovos says:

    A wild trainwreck of a season premiere. Red carpet arrivals looked like a low-budget film’s Oscar setup! Anyhoo… I go for Kelsey, the guidance counselor and widow. Clearly the most genuine of the bunch. Runner-up is Whitney, the fertility nurse. Why he gave roses to the drunk woman and the odd duck from Brooklyn, I do not know or understand. Honestly, a lot of the gals seemed so similar to me, and the gimmicks were stupid. That Kelsey was positive, open, and friendly upon introduction. Some women seemed so awkward!

    • Shaz says:

      I feel like her being a widow very recently (I think she said a year and some change) could prevent her from going farther. They must have grouped all the crazies together cause the above mentioned gals were all featured during the 10 mins I watched this.

  5. Jana says:

    Did his upper lip run away in fear of all the crazy?