Colbert Report's Final Episode: Murder, Santa Claus and So. Many. Celebrities.

Colbert Report Final Episode

Nation, “Stephen Colbert” has left the building.

The Colbert Report host on Thursday officially buried his “well-intentioned, poorly informed high-status idiot” character during the final episode of his Comedy Central show.

“If this is your first episode tuning into The Colbert Report, I have some terrible news,” he told viewers. “This is your last time watching the Colbert Report … until 10 years from now when they reboot it, directed by J.J. Abrams.”

After a quick recap of the latest Syrian shenanigans, Colbert turned to his viewers, his Nation, for a thanks-a-lot edition of The Word:

“While I’ve always reminded you to be afraid, folks, I don’t want you to worry,” he began. “On my very first show, I told you truth doesn’t come from your head. It comes from your gut. … The truthiness is, all those incredible things people say I did, none of that was really me. You, the Nation, did all of that. … I just got paid for it.”

RELATED Date Set for David Letterman’s Final Late Show Broadcast

That’s when things got weird. Like, really weird. In fact, maybe it’s best if I just bullet the final episode’s remaining weirdness:

colbert-report-final-episode-03* Colbert’s beloved Grimmy met his demise, ironically, during an installment of Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen Colbert. (As a double dose of irony, Grimmy was done in using Colbert’s equally beloved handgun Sweetness.)

* An audience member also got shot, one last HR nightmare to squeeze in before the bitter end.

* Upon murdering Grimmy, Colbert declared himself a death-less god. Immortality, Colbert discovered, is “kinda lonely” and “a little snacky.”

* Speaking of getting “snacky,” Colbert also shared his bucket list which, as it turns out, is just a list of all the things he’d like to eat from a bucket.

colbert-report-final-episode-10* Then came the celebrity cameos — the endless stream of celebrity cameos. Joining Colbert in a rousing performance of “We’ll Meet Again” were such personalities as Jon Stewart, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, James Franco, Katie Couric, Michael Stipe and J.J. Abrams. (And that barely scratches the surface; check out our weirdest-moments gallery for more famous faces.)

* That not enough for you? How about Colbert meeting Santa Claus, Abraham Lincoln — who is a unicorn, as we’ve always suspected — and Alex Trebek atop the roof of the studio, then flying off into the moonlight? Because that’s literally how it all ended.

Your thoughts on Colbert‘s final outing? Grade the episode below, then drop a comment with your full review.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Gilded Lady says:

    It was sweet, it was funny, and he went out with the man who had all the answers. I can’t think of a better way for the show to have ended.

  2. i thought it was a wonderfully thought out end – happy rather than mournful. and, of course, funny… thank you, colbert report – you will be missed!!!!

  3. Angela says:

    I was already a bit misty-eyed at times during Stephen’s Word segment (knew he would sign off with one, and I loved it) and whatnot, but damn, when everyone was singing “We’ll Meet Again”, that did it. Kleenex galore. Loved seeing all the celebrities joining in, trying to spot who all showed up throughout. And yes, the stuff with Grimmy and Santa and Trebek was weird…and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Stephen’s show’s always been weird, so it’s fitting :). And the very ending was sweet, too (same with the end to Jon’s show).
    God, it’s going to be weird not seeing Stephen immediately follow Jon at night anymore (at least, not until Stephen starts his CBS gig, but even then, different channels, so it’ll still be weird. But a very fitting, sweet, emotional sendoff. Thanks for an entertaining, awesome, intelligent, fun nine years, Stephen.
    (And now I have to go through this again tomorrow night with Craig Ferguson! Ergh! Not fair.)

  4. Tran says:

    I give the final episode of The Colbert Report an A+. Really going to missed it over on Comedy Central and I can’t wait when The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore takes over come January. It’s going to be a long way to go until Stephen Colbert takes over The Late show after David Letterman bids adieu on May 20th. IN COLBERT WE TRUST :-)

  5. Loved it. It was great too as they kept suggesting Sir Dr. Stephen T Mos Def Colbert, DFA (I’m probably forgetting something there) would die given the Grim Reaper teases for the past couple of months or so. Instead only only does Stephen kill death, he does it to the intro of one of his recurring segments. And then one of the most bizarre cavalcades of stars possibly ever appear to sing, after which Colbert ascends into a higher plane of existence with the help of three mythological figures. It hit all the series finale notes really: cameos a plenty, a tribute to the road traveled, continuity, death, and the adventure continuing, though different and perhaps more optimistic than before.

  6. ninamags says:

    How amazing that he was able to assemble all those people!!! George Lucas!!

    Wow. It was a great send-off.

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    Druk cyfrowy 24h cieszy się powodzeniem dzięki jakości obsługi oraz ekspresowemu tempu wykonania.

  9. Ann says:

    Last night’s episode was clearly a love letter to his fans, who get the satire of his show and character. Colbert is the country’s court jester.

  10. joefromwb says:

    Who is that with the glasses just to the right of James Franco in the above picture? As soon as I saw him last night, I recognized him, but I can’t place him. I can even hear what he sounds like, and it’s driving me crazy.

  11. Matt Barnes says:

    That’s actually not how it ended. It ended with Stephen tossing it back to John Stewart at The Daily Show and Jon sincerely saying, “Thanks for that report, Stephen” as though the whole thing had been an extended Daily Show segment. It was kind of perfect.

  12. dman6015 says:

    I don’t know how Ferguson is going to top that tonight, or if he’s even going to try. Maybe he’ll just go out in his usual, low-key style.

    • Angela says:

      I’m wondering about that, too. I suspect he’ll probably keep it low-key and not all that sentimental. That said, however, I certainly won’t complain if he does have some wacky/emotional sign-off of some sort.

  13. KatsMom says:

    I think that ending proved just how well-liked and respected Stephen Colbert is. You don’t have that many folks show up to wish you well if you’re an arse. I’m going to miss The Report, but I look forward to watching Dave wrap up his run on The Late Show and Colbert take over the reins.

  14. Gail says:

    Its going to be a long wait until September 2015 when he takes over Late Night. Fortunately I am sure he will be on TV before then. His next appearance is as host of the Kennedy Center Honors later this month.

    I wonder what CBS will air between when Letterman ends in May and Colbert begins in September. Probably guest hosts like they are doing with the Late, Late January and February.

  15. Carol C says:

    Wish there were names to go with the photos. Anyone know who the woman with the dark hair and blue blouse and jacket is in #10?

  16. AtlLady says:

    Colbert gave us a video version of the album cover to Sgt. Pepper. Every time you watch that final sing-along, you notice someone new. It might actually take until next September to see everyone. Bravo, Mr. Colbert. The Nation salutes you.

  17. kath says:

    I am really going to miss this show. And so will America. because Colbert, Stewart and Oliver are desperately needed to do the research that needed to be done for the necessary job of pricking the bubble of complacence.

    If for nothing else but the construct of “truthiness”, this show deserves to be remembered.