Quotes of the Week From NCIS, Selfie, Sons of Anarchy, S.H.I.E.L.D. and More!

Fall foliage is peaking in many parts of the nation, but our eyes remain glued to the television. (‘Tis the season, after all!)

To supplement Sunday small-screen binging, we bring you Quotes of the Week — a collection of the best zingers, comebacks and retorts from the last seven days.

This time around, we’ve got double doses of Sleepy Hollow and Selfie, a culinary question via Supernatural, a canine conundrum on Person of Interest, an explosive explanation on Scandal and a down-under moment on The Big Bang Theory.

So click through the gallery below for the full roster of quotes, then hit the comments and share any great one-liners we inevitably missed.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. A says:

    I loved that line from Felicity, she sounded so offended lol

  2. Nick Richards says:

    There were some really good quotes this week. Personal favorites, Arrow, Person of Interest, Sleepy Hollow, Hawaii 5-0 and NCIS. I’m also enjoying the Flash–wasn’t sure I would, but am.

  3. kn1231 says:

    No Smelly Mellie…. real miss there. Best line of the week.

  4. tstephen51 says:

    That is really an unfortunate picture of Bernadette with coffee table leg between her legs.

  5. Alichat says:

    There are so many from Sleepy Hollow that should be on this list.

    Ichabod: “I have faced many enemies on horseback. Horsemen without heads. Even discovered my own son is the Apocalyptic Horseman of War. Thus, how challenging must it be to guide the power of 300 horses using only one’s right foot?”

    Ichabod: “And secondly, if you’re implying that I would use this conveyance without your express permission…” Abbie: “That gauge right there doesn’t lie.” Ichabod: “The odometer. Curse you, Franklin, for inventing such a traitorous device.”

    Abbie: “Cause if you lose sight of me…” Ichabod: “A gillygampus like me? I can see for miles at my height.” Abbie: “And I say we retire that nickname right here and now.”

    Abbie: “Your first recording. Maybe we’ll cut an album together when this is all done.” Ichabod: “One achievement at a time, Leftenant.”

  6. Kristina says:

    I can’t believe you left out Once Upon a Time’s Hook and Elsa’s discussion of cell phones. (“The Emma button”) Also, I would have gone with Shonda’s “the network said it was too sad” over the beer pong quote.

  7. Jude says:

    So many smartass quotes in SUPERNATURAL from Deanmon Dean / Sam / Crowley …… and they pick a comment from a clueless angel about refrigerted leftovers?!?! How lame!

    I personally enjoyed Dean’s reference to Princess Bride’s Inigo Montoya…..

  8. Mary says:

    I loved Melinda May’s quote.

  9. spindae2 says:

    No mention of Hook and his devices with the Emma button???
    Colin as Hook delivered last night.

  10. DarkDefender says:

    “And you thought Zombie Apocalypse Survival Camp was a waste of time..” ~ Castle, to Beckett after booby trapping and protecting a romp in the sack from an invisible predator
    Totally should have made the cut.

  11. MARTIN SMITH says:

    Loved Bear munching on Professor
    Whistler’s (Finch’s) homework !!

  12. Cobra says:

    How is it that you keep ignoring great quotes from “Girl Meets World”?
    “I, Janitor Harley Keiner, was in my youth, a school meanie. In fact, someone you all know and love was often the target of my shenanigans. But is force of will was so strong, it changed the nature of our relationship. In fact, he got me this job, and now I hold him in the highest regard!”
    (Enter Cory)
    “Johnny Baboon!?”

  13. Lindsay says:

    I laughed at Haven when Duke was pretending to be DETECTIVE Nathan Wuornos, and Mara asks him what the phone number for the local police department is: “Uhh… 911?”

    Speaking of police, I liked at the end of Person of Interest when the kid tells “Riley” that he wants to be a cop when he grows up, but he’ll shoot less people than him.

  14. Briggs says:

    Again, disappointed by no Castle, but the inclusion of both Arrow and The Flash made me smile. They’re done by the same people, and the quotables come from the ‘brain’s of the teams in question (yes, I’m aware of the fact everyone on Team Flash is a brain, but Wells has seniority). My inner geek girl is happy this week. :)

  15. GildedRose says:

    Arrow’s Felicity Smoak always gets the best lines each week and the actress who plays her, Emily Bett Rickards, always has the perfect delivery. She’s a bright spot in every ep. Not surprised at all to see her on list this week. Her Cobalt-Workstation Tweet quip was a hoot (bird tweeting pun intended).

  16. Pavanne says:

    What? No Marren’s “Take notes kids, because THIS is what pilates can do for you”, from How to get away with Murder.

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