Quotes of the Week from NCIS, Scandal, Big Bang, Late Night, Mindy and More!

October is only a few days away — but fret not, we’ve resisted the urge to add pumpkin flavoring to TVLine’s Quotes of the Week.

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Indeed, all you’ll get is pure, distilled hilarity via quips, retorts and one-liners from the last seven days of television.

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This time around we’ve got double doses of Scandal and The Mindy Project, a MacGyver moment on NCIS, a rapper’s delight on Sleepy Hollow, a parting shot on Under the Dome and some definitely not homophobic banter on Key & Peele.

So click through the gallery below for the full roster of quotes, then hit the comments and share any great one-liners we inevitably missed.