New Girl Season 4 Premiere Recap:     Say Yes to the Jess

New Girl Season 4 Premiere Recap

When a best man is Jess’ best bet for wedding nookie, the New Girl heroine breaks out the sex fist and goes after what she wants.

I promise, the Fox comedy’s Season 4 opener isn’t as dirty as it sounds, even though Jessica Biel spends most of the episode slinking around a dance floor, and Nick and Schmidt have a protracted discussion about whether or not to engage in a four-way with two bridesmaids.

Okay… maybe it is as dirty as it sounds. If you watched, we want to hear your thoughts in a minute. But first, read on for what happens in “The Last Wedding.”

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“THAT’S TOO MANY WEDDINGS” | Four months since we last hung out with the roomies, they’re about to attend their last wedding of the season, and even the perennially sunny Jess has nuptial fatigue. Schmidt, however, sees a greater purpose in attending: “We are hooking up tonight, all five of us,” he decrees, doing his best Ned Stark impression as he rallies his pals for one last hurrah before fall. “Winter is coming. No one comes home alone.” Inspired, Jess comes up with an awkward metaphor for their combined hook-up capability (the aforementioned “sex fist”), then everyone puts on their pretty clothes and heads to the bash.

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STIFF COMPETITION | The gang has various levels of success with Operation: Garter Toss. (They don’t call it that, but they should.) Coach’s romantic overtures invoke the ire of several waitresses, photographers, etc. he’s already bedded earlier in the summer. Cece’s appearance — and the news that she’s no longer dating Aussie hottie Buster — throws Schmidt so much that he can’t even go through with the group sex he wants so badly at one point in the episode. (This comes as a huge relief to Nick who, being a good pal, had decided to go along with the ménage a quatre to divert Schmidt’s attention from his ex.) And Winston is so sore from police-academy training, his closest relationship throughout the episode is with the ice packs liberally applied to his body. (Side note: Please let this be the season Winston gets a serious girlfriend. Please?)

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So that leaves Jess, who decides that she wants to go home with best man Ted (played by Veep‘s Reid Scott). Too bad that Kat (played by 7th Heaven alum Jessica Biel) has come to the same conclusion. Kat is gorgeous, incredibly smart and happy to let everyone know just what a catch she is. “Here are the facts: I’m technically a genius, I have a photographic memory, and I lost my virginity to Malcolm Gladwell,” she informs Jess, adding that she watches half an hour of porn each night to stay abreast of current trends. (For the record, my favorite line of the episode is: “In the coming months, I’m predicting a throwback to missionary. It all depends on what happens in Syria.”)

YOU DO YOU | After initial attempts to catch Ted’s interest fail, Nick finds Jess hiding in the men’s room and gives her a pep talk. “Just be yourself, and if he’s not into Jessica Day, there’s something wrong with him,” Miller tells her. That logic fits: Nick isn’t into Jess enough to make a relationship work, and there’s leagues wrong with him. Reenergized, Jess declares that the sex fist (five) has become a sex finger (just her)… but it’s really no better a metaphor. She confronts Ted with all of her quirkiness, Kat counters with a photo of herself nude, and the dilemma so stymies the best man that neither woman winds up going home with him. Then Kat leaves with the officiant. Who wants cake?

Now it’s your turn. Rate the premiere via the poll below, then back up your choice in the comments!

 

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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12 Comments
  1. Boiler says:

    Thought New Girl had a great start tonite. Hopefully people switch the channel after rightfully ignoring Utopia.

  2. Joey Padron says:

    Season premiere was good & funny. Looking forward to watching more of new season.

  3. Liz. B. says:

    It had some good and bad elements. Overall I felt it was a “C” ep. But maybe that’s partly because a few of the funny parts I had already seen in the sneaks. I thought it was kind of crass in some parts-and not funny or even amusing crass, just…crass. There were several humorous moments, but really, the friendship thing at the end, seeing the great characters again, the CeCe and Schmidt stuff, the totally hot guy the two were vying over were the best. It was a bit humorous seeing all the girls Coach slept with take him to task briefly. I liked the little Jess and Nick moment in the bathroom. And her line before about being in the men’s room. I think that’s really what sticks out for me. Mostly, what I liked about the show were the non-humorous parts. It didn’t make me LOL. But several parts made me smile and were amusing. But, for me, the show has never been super funny, just cute, quirky, mildly funny with lovable characters. So maybe that’s me and my weird sense if humor. Hope it does well this season. I want it to.

  4. That was so boring. I thought Jessica Biel wasn’t a good adversary at all. She isn’t that great an actress to begin with, let alone has never shown any good comedy chops. I understand she was supposed to be the other side of the coin, however she just was bland. I also disliked that, in the end, the best man ended up with no one. It wasn’t cute or funny, it was dumb. They did Reid Scott a disservice.

    I need New Girl to give Winston better story lines.

    New Girl just isn’t as good as it used to be. I wasn’t that excited for it to return and it proved me right. The Mindy Project, however, I was completely stoked to watch and they did a great job in their premiere. It was a nice palate cleanser to this dismal premiere.

  5. jo jo jo says:

    So even is a show was picked up… can the show still be st cxl mid season? Let’s hope so. New Girl is still awful. Bring in whoever you want. The writer’s destroyed this show.

    • adri says:

      I agree about the writers destroying the show….it used to be so good…. and yet.. I don’t think I like it anymore… But since I did love it, I will continue watching, until it gets better, or I just can’t anymore.

  6. murley says:

    I like the gang all together, everyone interacting. It is when New Girl is at its best. And the whole sex fist thing had me cracking up.

  7. Evan says:

    I thought this was a pretty good episode. As someone who really liked season one and LOVED season two, I was with the crowd that thought season three was a major step down. That said, I’m rooting for the show to make a comeback this year, and tonight seemed like a good step in the right direction. The wisest decision was downplaying the Nick/Jess breakup, even when it could’ve been smuggled into the bathroom scene. I actually really liked Jessica Biel here, and Reid Scott was good, but it’s not like he had any opportunity to be better with what he was given. Overall, a good episode. Not great, but definitely good, and if they can consistently deliver episodes of that quality, or better, then this should help the show rebound.

  8. Dee says:

    I thought the episode was fine. However, it feels like they are trying to erase last season. I hate it when shows backtrack on a relationship like it never happened. Whether or not we loved them together, it makes no sense to have them just go back to the way it was. There was no progression or character growth for either. That’s just bad storytelling. And I say that as a fan of the show.

  9. Brigid says:

    Back to Season 1 funny! I laughed my head off last night especially Winston with the salt and pepper mingling. I hope they keep this up for the rest of this year!

  10. Sarah T. says:

    I thought it was pretty good. I’ll give it a B- because I did think it was too crass at points and that’s not what the fans liked to begin with. What I loved about the show was Jess’ quirkiness, the interactions of the rest of the cast and her blossoming will they/won’t they with Nick. I think it was smart to not make a big deal out of their relationship/break-up. HOWEVER, I think the writers can use it for comedy fodder (much like Ross & Rachel). Exes can still be friends, it can still be awkward and it can still be funny. They need to find a way to do that. I felt like so much of season 2 focused on the possibility of Nick and Jess (to the detriment of the other characters) that when they finally did get them together, the show lost it’s emotional punch. I feel like the writers have really only done a decent job of fleshing out Schmidt. They’ve done a bit with CeCe but they’ve really let Winston and Coach go. Develop those characters more, focus on this being more of an ensemble comedy rather than just using those characters as filler to get to Jess and the show can be good again. I just hope that happens before they cancel it.

  11. HAP says:

    A great cast of talented actors hampered by bad writing.