Did exec producer Mark Burnett hurl the octet into a ThunderDome-style arena — axes and nunchuks at the ready — the crowd chanting “Eight singers enter! Three singers leave!”? Was the dreaded Hantavirus to blame? Did Christina Aguilera slip peanuts into the kale-and-flaxseed smoothies? (Side note: Wouldn’t Hantavirus be a great name for a band — especially if their hooks were infectious?)
Nope, the reality of Season 6’s rapidly dwindling pool of vocalists is much more insidious.
Somewhere, somehow, exec producer Mark Burnett & Co. decided to julienne the Live Voting Rounds like leeks in a food processor — dicing and slicing viewer power to a mere five-week window. And so, last week we lost Sisaundra Lewis, Audra McLaughlin and Delvin Choice — just as we were getting to know ’em.
And this week, three of the five remaining singers wound up singing for their lives — a bizarre ratio that had even coach Adam Levine observing the weirdness of it all.
And yet, here we are having lost more than half the Season 6 field in eight days’ time — the underlying message: Don’t get too attached to the voices, to the personalities, to the very idea that NBC is remotely interested in the struggling artists upon whose backs it builds its ratings juggernaut. Shall we all join in with Kristen Merlin as she reprises her rendition of “Foolish Games” from Monday night: “Excuse me, I must’ve mistaken you for somebody else/ Somebody who gave a damn/ Someone more like me.”
That pretty much sums it up, yes?
Ah well, at least Season 5’s Top 3 Jacquie Lee (lurrrrve her voice), Will Champlin and Tessanne Chin (that single is kinda hot, no?) got invited back to strut their stuff and kickstart their post-Voice careers. I just wish Mr. Burnett would spread out the love, invite more alumnae back, and make their performances a weekly results-night thang, no?
Whatever your stance, let’s get to results.
Saved by America (in chronological order)
Jake Worthington (¿¿¡¡him!!??)
This Week’s Bottom 3
Aw man! If America had gotten it right, we could’ve had a Josh-Kristen-Christina finale. Instead, the weakest link said “Hello!” to next week’s main event, and I got torn between two contestants in my #VoiceSave Tweeting. It would have to come down to last-chance performances:
Kristen: Carrie Underwood’s “Blown Away” — Grade: B-
Kat: Carrie Underwood’s “Good Girl” — Grade: B-
Christina: OneRepublic’s “Apologize” — Grade: B-
Ultimately, Kristen’s magnificence on “Foolish Games” tipped the scales, and off to social media I sprinted.
As Carson Daly cut to commercial, an onscreen graphic showed the voting totals at Christina (70%), Kat (29%) and Kristen (1%). Come on, now!
Carson came back from the break and announced “the graphic was messed up.” Or did he mean “the graphic was a way to convince Kristen fans that voting was an exercise in futility? If that was the case, it worked.
ON TO THE FINALE
What did you think of Top 5 results? Did the right people make the finale? Sound off in the comments! And for all my reality TV-related news, interviews and recaps, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!