Dallas Midseason Finale Recap: Burn, Baby, Burn!

Dallas Midseason FinaleHell hath no fury like a Ewing scorned, and after Monday’s midseason finale of TNT’s Dallas, there isn’t an unscorned (or unscorched) Ewing left at Southfork.

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The finale madness began with Pamela seeing the video of John Ross and Emma having sex, setting into motion a vicious cycle of anger and blame. In addition to being furious with her husband and her supposed best friend, Pamela also lashed out at Ann and Sue Ellen for keeping the affair a secret.

She predictably tracked down John Ross and Emma during their latest hotel rendezvous, but rather than blow their brains out, she very unpredictably joined them in a threesome. (Wearing her matching green lingerie, no less!)

Their hot/confusing escapade was cut short when Pamela suddenly began seizing — John Ross discovered an empty bottle of pills in Pamela’s bag — but before you start laying flowers at her grave, the post-episode teaser revealed she’ll be back on her feet (and slapping up a storm) come August.

And in true Dallas fashion, the episode’s final moments were also the most insane. Christopher and Bobby returned home to find Southfork set ablaze with Sue Ellen passed out somewhere inside. (Looks like they’ll have to renovate the ranch, now!)

Dallas Midseason FinaleOther finale plot points in desperate need of discussion:

* For some reason, all this chaos awakened Ann’s inner hypocrite. Not only did she join Harris for a drink (way to show Sue Ellen how to stay sober!), but she also made out with her scheming ex — a fine example of fidelity for Pamela, indeed.

* Drew’s arrival in Dallas sent Elena into a full-on panic attack, and good ol’ Joaquin knew exactly how to make the situation less chaotic: Screw with her birth control! (Wait, did I say less chaotic? Scratch that.)

* Mere hours after Christopher decided to take his relationship with Heather to the next level, Bo (sort of) kidnapped Michael and took him to the rodeo — and that was before he set Southfork on fire. Basically, he’s a loving father, respectful ex-husband and all-around great guy.

What’s your take on Dallas‘ midseason finale? Drop a comment with your thoughts and theories below, then check back tomorrow afternoon for our Q&A with executive producer Cynthia Cidre.