Revenge Recap: Know When to Hold 'Em

Revenge Season 3 RecapEmily tangles with Pascal LeMarchal in this week’s Revenge, and despite Em fondling a few cigars and rocking a red-hot gown, the interaction is about as enticing as room-temperature coq au vin: It’s fine, but you know it would be so much better if it were just a little hotter.

Elsewhere, the Grayson kiddies team up (with their combined success rate of 0.0, that’ll go well), Conrad seems to grow a soul and Victoria gets precisely what she wanted. Read on as we review what happened in “Addiction.”

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THE DECK IS STACKED | Emily and Nolan are stumped by the mention of “TWM” in the handwritten note they believe Pascal penned. “It definitely can’t be ‘the white-haired man,’ can it?” Emily asks, echoing a commenter on last week’s recap. Noles doesn’t think so, and while he works on hacking into Pascal’s mainframe for clues, she decides to use her newly single status as a way to cuddle up to Margaux’s dad.

Step 1: Stalk him, then proffer phallic objects. But when Emily “accidentally” runs into the French media magnate and offers him a high-end cigar, he seems immune to her young divorceé charms. Undaunted, Emily proceeds directly to Step 2: Throw a lavish, themed charity gala benefitting Monsieur LeMarchal’s childhood leukemia foundation. (Side note: These people plan and execute wedding-size parties the same way I use Seamless – daily and with abandon.)

ALL IN | Jack finds Margaux flipping through Vito Splendido, an Italian magazine she’s been asked to head up in Rome. Jack’s not excited about a long-distance relationship, but he wants her to be happy in a way he knows she can’t be at Voulez, so he encourages her to pursue the new position.

Margaux and her kicky haircut are quite happy to accept his support at face value… until Daniel decides to start messing with her head about it. He tells her that Jack’s way too close to Emily, and that Margaux’s being in Europe will only help Jack’s macking plans. Earlier in the episode, Daniel persuades Charlotte to help him get back at Emily by taking down all of her friends – this Margaux interference seems to violate Char’s “OK, but just not Jack, cool?” mandate, doesn’t it, Daniel?

KNOW WHEN TO FOLD ‘EM | Meanwhile, Pascal fumes because Interpol has started poking around based on a tip that he’s using Voulez as a very illegal tax shelter. Margaux feigns innocence, then suggests that giving her complete control of the magazine and booting Conrad out will make his problems go away – thanks to Daniel’s friendship with the Interpol agent in question. Pascal agrees. Well, that was… easy?

Over at the South Fork Inn, Stevie opens her door, sees Conrad and lets out a disgusted sound I can only approximate in text as “Ucccchhhhghhhhshhch.” He’s heard the gossip about Jack being her son, and “It hits harder than expected.” Conrad tells her, voice gravelly. He then launches into either the most sincere or the most manipulative we’ve ever seen him – I’m still undecided – as he remembers how her drinking killed their marriage. Either way, he leaves with the deed to Grayson Manor in his back pocket.

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CASHING IN | Throughout the episode, MANY people make reference to Victoria having dated Pascal before she met Conrad. And because the show seems to think it’s very important information for you to have, here are some details: She was in France on her scholarship, they met at a flea market, they were hot and heavy until her visa ran out and she had to fly back to America, he sent her orchids while she was gone but when she returned to surprise him, he was with another fille. (Side note: Victoria’s demeanor the entire time she’s relating this story to Daniel is effervescent. I don’t think we’ve seen Lady Grayson this light… ever. It’s a nice, if jarring, look on her.)

Bottom line, as was heavily hinted at last week: Papa LeMarchal and Mama Grayson have history, so it’s no surprise when Queen V swoops into Emily’s charity Monte Carlo night and vies with Em for Pascal’s attention. He has them both play high-stakes poker, a game that Victoria throws so Emily can win. Huh?

RED-HOT HAND |All is answered when Em parlays her success at the gaming table into a private audience with Pascal after the event; she soon realizes his office is bugged, surmises that Victoria is in cahoots with the suave Frenchman and gets out of there as coolly and quickly as possible. (Side note: Are we supposed to think Emily is trying to seduce Pascal? I’m not feeling it from either one of them.)

Later, Victoria swings by and reveals that Pascal gifted her with the house deed – and she’s keeping it. He apologizes for betraying her all those years ago, and she says she’ll try to forgive him. With that out of the way, they hungrily kiss.

All of that said — even with Vicky and Pascal’s rekindling, Javier’s slick come-on to Charlotte and the intel Emily gathers — I think we can all agree that the evening’s big winner is Nolan’s floral, velvet (?) tux jacket, right?

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DEAL ME IN | Back at Emily’s House of We Leave the Door-Sized Windows Wide Open All the Time Despite Having Major Secrets to Keep, Nolan laments that his hackery hasn’t been able to find a “TWM” in LeMarchal’s computer system. Just then, Aiden appears in the entryway and – despite having brushed off Emily when she visited him in Bermuda – announces he knows to whom the initials belong. “TWM is Trevor Warren Mathis,” he says. “Pascal was talking about my father.”

Now it’s your turn. What did you think of the episode? Does Emily seem a little off her game? Has Charlotte’s addictive personality replaced pills with cutout dresses? Are you happy to have Aiden back in the mix? Also, Morgan Fairchild?! Sound off in the comments!