Quotes of the Week: Best Zingers From Blacklist, Downton, Parks and Rec, White Collar & More

The end of January is nigh, which means it’s time to stick a fork in at least one of your 2014 resolutions and cook up one that’s easier to follow.

How about this? “Never miss an installment of TVLine’s Quotes of the Week!”

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Then again, what kind of loon would ever skip our roundup of the small screen’s best zingers, one-liners, bon mots and retorts from the last seven days?

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This time around, we’ve got a some Downton Dowager goodness, a Sherlock blog item, some new-agey Trophy Wife, a silky White Collar run-in, a Parks and Rec upgrade, a double dose of Sleepy Hollow and much more. So click through the gallery below for our latest batch of honorees, then hit the comments to weigh in on your faves — and add anything we’ve inevitably missed!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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24 Comments
  1. Ally Oop says:

    The only one of these I actually watched was Caroline on Vampire Diaries.

  2. Betsy says:

    “Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you won’t use math.” Mozzie to baby Theo after discovering the clues/solution to the codex in Theo’s mobile.

  3. aunt_deen says:

    Retch. Not wretch.

  4. JM says:

    I LOL at many of these quotes, but especially the ‘Sherlock’ one!

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  6. Azerty says:

    The only one missing here is the “What color are your shoes?” in Arrow!

  7. jenferner8 says:

    Loved the Sleepy Hollow stuff, thanks for the bonus one too. There were a few other lines from that episode I loved like when he had Abbey’s cell phone and decided Yolanda was better listener then Suri.
    I’m a bit disappointed there’s not a single Boyd Crowder quote this week. He’s the only character who uses 10,000 words to speak what should be a 5 word sentence and yet he still manages to sound like he knows what the hell he’s talking about. While watching last Justified episode I half expected to a large portion of his dialogue on here.

  8. Pat says:

    You can always count on the best quotes coming from Sleepy Hollow’s Icabod. He nails it, every time . Cannot wait for the return of this show. I am hoping for a quick and speedy Spring and Summer, so I can resume hearing more of his quotes.

  9. Jen says:

    Ichabod: Admit it. You appreciate me a little…
    Abbie: Microscopically.

    • Angela says:

      That was so cute :). So many awesome moments between them in the finale-I’m pretty certain my heart melted during the “I choose to forge my fate with you” scene. I just sat there going, “Ohhhhhhhh…” over and over again. And Crane’s reaction to the Reenactment stuff, and his constant rants about cell phones…hilarious.
      Good to see “Community” listed in here, too-Jeff and Britta’s argument was hilarious. I think my favorite quote, though, had to be Abed’s line about the homing pigeon, just in case Troy wanted to find his way back home. Made an already heavily emotional moment that much more poignant.

  10. arial2 says:

    Really, you passed on the Shield “chips passing in the night” pun for some of the mundane comments here??? You must really hate puns because that one was funny! Thought the AHS quote was great and, of course, anything Blacklist’s Red says is usually quotable, though.

  11. Lola says:

    LOVE kooky Myrtle and her hysterical sartorial quips. PolPot in Givenchy might have been my fave.

  12. dq18 says:

    Spader could read a cereal box and make it entertaining. I’m so happy to have him back on my tv!

  13. Melanie says:

    Danny and Mindy finally happened !! – Yeah I just watched like 20 episodes today in the hope it would happen. ahhh, tv procuration

  14. chad says:

    How about Banshee “what is worse than have your nuts crushed with a bat? Have it done again”

  15. brycealexander says:

    On Parks: “Oh no, this one’s dead.” As the man held a stalk of cauliflower next to his wife’s broccoli. I lost it!

  16. Ellen Kal says:

    where’s Revenge’s Daniel??? can’t believe that was left out!