Duck Dynasty Imbroglio: Five (Admittedly Ridiculous) Replacements for Phil Robertson

Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson’s suspension by A&E for calling homosexuality a sin — and implying that African-Americans were not “singing the blues” in the Jim Crow era — has put the network in a pickle.

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With the 67-year-old Evangelical Christian on the bench, his family has rallied behind him, saying “We cannot imagine the show going forward without [him] at the helm. We are in discussions with A&E to see what that means for the future of Duck Dynasty.”

Given that Duck Dynasty Season 4 this past August premiered to 11.8 million total viewers — a record for a cable reality series — it’s clearly in A&E’s best interest to follow the old adage, “The show must go on!” And seeing how the average consumer knows that “reality TV” is at least a little bit scripted, why not just hire somebody else to play the role of Robertson?

With that in mind, we’ve brainstormed five possible options for assuming the Duck Dynasty throne. Click through the (obviously silly) photos below, then share your own ideas for Phil Robertson’s successor.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. aa says:

    Seems like a cheap, Buzzfeed-esque way of getting page hits. No one actually cares about this stupid story. Keep it classy, TV Line.

    • Yeah they do. says:

      You obviously care about it enough to comment on it.

      Pot, kettle. I believe you two have met.

    • Liz says:

      Lol I thought it was funny and I’ve been a tvline reader since it started. But I also love buzzfeed. It’s a ridiculous story worthy of a ridiculous post.

    • Jerri says:

      Page hits? TV|Line has nothing on trying to get page hits off of the while Duck Dynasty debacle. Certain other Entertainment Websites have tons of articles about Robertson and family. And they all have thousands of comments, mostly people calling each other idiots/morons.

  2. orhan94 says:

    this thing is getting way too much attention from this site…. i bet 90 percent of the people that follow your site hadn’t even heard of this show until yesterday.

    • webly3 says:

      Well considering Duck Dynasty is the most popular reality show on television… I’m pretty sure that 90 percent of the people on this site were familiar with the show before this dumb scandal.

    • Lisa says:

      Puleeeease. Everyone knows the show. And no, I don’t watch it. Point made.

  3. Christy says:

    I think this is the only article about this whole thing that I actually enjoyed.

    I vote they boot ’em all and replace them all with Muppets. I would watch that.

  4. Derek Johnson says:

    At least Baldwin has the hair thing going on.

  5. Liz says:

    Lolz. Funny tvline! Love when you guys get kinda ridiculous

  6. Teag says:

    Haha Daniel Day Lewis! So good.

  7. Riana says:

    Frank Beard wouldn’t fit in with the other guys,as ironic as that is

  8. The only duck dynasty I care about is Scrooge McDuck’s. Get him or Donald on the show and I may watch (nah, probably not even then).

  9. Tim says:

    Two words….
    Cole Vosbury.

  10. Jo says:

    Cute feature. It reminds us how silly this whole thing is.

  11. Chuck Finley says:

    Sleez-ak at his finest!

  12. rebecca says:

    I’m all set with watching hillbillies, but muppets? That, i would watch.

  13. Allison says:

    Totally cute and hilarious :) I loved this article. It was nice to see something light hearted come out of all the drama. Way to go Sir Slezak :) Awesome job!

  14. Kim R says:

    I don’t know what is more entertaining..the article or the comments. You guys are hilarious! :D

  15. J.Norman says:

    You know, although his comments were poorly advised, he never, ever mentioned “Jim Crow” in his comments.
    The Jim Crow references have been gleefully added by some interest groups to get more ink for their moral outrage and agendas.

  16. Jenna says:

    Slow news day, eh?