Quotes of the Week: Best Zingers From NCIS: LA, Mindy, Witches of East End, Castle and More!

Thanksgiving week meant too, too many reruns, but that wasn’t about to stop us from delivering a cornucopia of hot, fresh one-liners straight to your doorstep!

Indeed, TVLine’s Quotes of the Week is packed with the best zingers from the small screen over the last eight days.

RELATED | Who Is TVLine’s Performer of the Week?

This time around, we’ve got a double dose of The Good Wife, a pointed remark on NCIS: LA, a snakebit bon mot on Witches of East End, a ridiculous X Factor snafu, a Hanukkah flirtation on Hart of Dixie and much more. So click through the gallery below for our latest batch of honorees, then hit the comments to weigh in on your faves — and add anything we’ve inevitably missed!

Comments (18)

  • Remember when the X-Factor fired Cole because they were worried people wouldn’t understand her because of her accent?

    Comment by Michael Sacal – December 1, 2013 11:22 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • She’s so charming and gorgeous too. It’s baffling. I think she’d have been a sleeper hit on the judging panel. Once America got to know Cheryl, they’d have loved her. She did a great job in the UK. The minute Simon fired her (and let’s make no mistake, that was his decision) he introduced bad mojo into that panel.

      Comment by scooby – December 1, 2013 06:04 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
      • I thought she did fine in the one or two episodes she was on. She certainly sounded much better and more coherent than Paulina has.

        Comment by Michael Sacal – December 1, 2013 06:10 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Ncis la had sooo many good ones and that’s the one you are going with, really? -.-

    Comment by Elin – December 1, 2013 11:42 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • I was thinking the same thing myself. The opening was probably better with Sam calling Kensi out for wearing the same shirt.

      Comment by Chris – December 1, 2013 11:55 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
      • I don’t know why but I loved the line.
        “I don’t move the chess pieces, I move the board.”

        Comment by kevin – December 1, 2013 03:04 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Paulina Rubio and, worse, poor Josh Levi AND Carlito Olivero will never live to see the end of it.

    Comment by Claudia Costa Chaves – December 1, 2013 11:49 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • “How long have I been gone?” BEST SCENE EVER. Thas was soooooo fun!!!! Best quote of the week!

    NCIS LA had really good ones this week, love it!

    Comment by Ana Rubio – December 1, 2013 12:07 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • For the “Castle” quote, I’m sure you meant “Alexis (Molly Quinn), arriving at the loft to find (exhausted!) Rick and KATE tending to an infant”. :)

    Comment by c-mo – December 1, 2013 12:51 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Nothing from Sleepy Hollow this week? Every ep is quotable!

    Comment by valeriel40 – December 1, 2013 02:07 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • I agree, Sleepy Hollow has hilarious lines every week. This week my favorite was when Ichabod had the bag from McDonalds and ate a french fry and said “Despite this establishments nomenclature this resembles no Scottish meal I’ve ever eaten. These are from the Austrian Netherlands for one thing, and dreadfully prepared.” ha ha!! I absolutely love Sleepy Hollow!

      Comment by Tenney – December 1, 2013 05:13 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • That POI quote was a fave of mine. After Root’s guns-akimbo stunt, we were all thinking it, and the fact that it was Shaw who said it is the icing on the cake.

    BTW, is it just me, or does it look like Shaw has a Fu Manchu mustache in that screengrab?

    Comment by wordsmith – December 1, 2013 03:21 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • “How long have I been gone?”! Priceless:)

    Comment by Mary – December 1, 2013 03:29 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • The HIMYM should say “hearty” not “hardy”. It’s referencing a hearty meal.

    Comment by Sarah – December 1, 2013 04:05 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • How is Mom’s quote about Stevia by Matt Jones’ character not included? It was such an awesome reference to Breaking Bad’s final episode!!!

    Comment by Hamza – December 1, 2013 06:30 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • The Mindy quote made me snort laugh. I’m going to assume the cocaine salesman reference was to the old, 80s show Miami Vice, and not the newer, crappier movie, Miami Vice..

    Comment by Britta Unfiltered – December 1, 2013 07:31 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Definitely found Castle’s “The Good, the bad and the baby” the most quotable episode of the week:
    – Rick: “When we do [the church wedding], let’s not do the dead body in the middle of the aisle”
    – Lanie: “He’s about three months and he’s hungry, because he keeps going after the girls.” Rick: “Who can blame him?”…
    – Rick: “I have an RHD in child care — Ruggedly Handsome Dad”
    – Kate: “That’s evidence — watch those balls.” Rick: “Nah, not touching it”….

    Comment by Rich Abey – December 1, 2013 08:55 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • “I love that you wear your insubordination as a virtue.”– Dorian (Michael Ealy) , #AlmostHuman s1e3
    Why this did not make the line of the week on the best buddy cop dhow on TV has me baffled!

    Comment by David T.G. Riches – December 2, 2013 10:32 AM PDT  Reply To This Post

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