Quotes of the Week: Best Zingers From Grey's, S.H.I.E.L.D., NCIS, Almost Human and More!

We’re less than a week away from Thanksgiving gluttony, so how about filling up today on delicious, zero-calorie zingers?

Indeed, TVLine’s Quotes of the Week is packed with the best one-liners from the small screen over the last seven days.

RELATED | Who Is TVLine’s Performer of the Week?

This time around, we’ve got a musical theater reference on NCIS, a Joss Whedon easter egg on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., a double dose of Nashville hilarity, a trip to Almost Human‘s nether-regions, Beatlemania on The Good Wife and much more. So click through the gallery below for our latest batch of honorees, then hit the comments to weigh in on your faves — and add anything we’ve inevitably missed!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Rose says:

    Go Rayna!!! That was HILARIOUS!

  2. I Heart Damon Salvatore says:

    Of all of the quotable lines from GH, you pick that lame line from “Franco”?

  3. courts says:

    I wish I had had enough money to go on a Lord of the Rings/Hobbit tour for my honeymoon

  4. Nick says:

    How do you not include what Daisy said in Bones- “Wow we’re homies”, or when Abbie said in Sleepy Hallow told Iochbad that he’s got game

  5. Ann says:

    You can always count on Rayna Jaymes to give some well deserved oerspective. Love her and she owned that line (and the episode).

  6. tp says:

    The Doctor Who reveal was kinda awesome.

  7. Valerie says:

    “What’s a skank? It sounds bad.”
    “It’s not bad. I’ve been called a skank before.”

    Bones (Emily Deschanel) getting clarification from Daisy (Carla Gallo) during Bones’ bachelorette party.

  8. Nat says:

    How is Max’s (2 Broke Girls) “Bien fondue, Eiffel tower.” Not included?

  9. Apples says:

    I actually thought Beckett’s “Don’t chase ghosts Castle. Trust me, it’s not worth it.” was THE quote of that episode, summing 4 years or so of character and relationship development in a few beautifully delivered lines. That whole exchange with Castle’s guilt about Tyson and Beckett fighting to pull him from the brink was brilliantly written and acted by Fillion and Katic.

    • Rich Abey says:

      I think you are right on this being the quote of the episode..especially as it showed that Kate has finally overcome her inner demons. Sadly though it came to bite back at her BIG TIME with regards to 3XK.

  10. Jessica says:

    I think the Sons quote you should have included was from Nero to Gemma. “No offence Mama, but I’ve seen what happens to your husbands and it ain’t pretty.” I could not stop laughing after that!

  11. John DeMayo says:

    How can you not include the absolute gem from Monroe on Revolution this week?

    “I’m Batman.”

  12. Tessa says:

    I absolutely loved that Sons quote because it was a reference to one of my favorite, underrated shows that only lasted one season last year, The Mob Doctor! I also loved the Beckett quote from Castle.

  13. jenferner8 says:

    When I heard the Almost Human line while watching I immediately thought that’s one for tvline!

  14. Megan says:

    Comment from NZ!!! Castle is so right… Middle Earth is only a tiny part of NZ, its actually a beautiful country with some amazing scenery.. but Middle Earth is always worth a visit of course!
    Awesome for the country to get a shout out on castle though!

  15. Ana Rubio says:

    OH YEAH I was really hoping that one from Castle made it, so glad it did, it was hilarious!!! less Hobbit-y

    And so funny the one from NCIS LA too, loved it

  16. Jay says:

    How could you leave out Arrow’s “There was no choice” line? It was swoonworthworth. Or even Malcolm’s “Hello Moira”.

  17. KCC says:

    Anything that the Warrior Doctor (John Hurt) said in the 50th special, including:
    “Am I having a midlife crisis? Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They’re scientific instruments not water pistols!”
    “Oh the pointing again. They’re screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?”
    “Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about?”
    … and the list goes on

  18. Sara says:

    IMO, a better Scandal one was my husband isn’t your husband

  19. ruahticsn says:

    So happy the NCIS:LA line was included! :)

  20. Alichat says:

    I thought the Almost Human lines right before “don’t scan my testicles” were funnier. “You’re scanning my balls?!” “I didn’t enjoy it.”

  21. Tom Charles says:

    Drop the “Who” when referring to the Doctor

  22. Miss Priss says:

    Luke Mitchell is a thing of beauty, he has crazy chemistry with Cara.

  23. Britta Unfiltered says:

    General Hospital named a character after James Franco? They really do have a serious crush on the guy.

  24. gogo says:

    I thought that the choice from Revenge should’ve been Nolan telling Aiden “Bitch don’t kill my vibe”.

  25. Evan says:

    How is Nolan from Revenge not on here with his “Bitch don’t Kill My Vibe” comment???