Quotes of the Week: Best Zingers From Coven, The Middle, Blacklist, NCIS: LA and More

Television: You reference it more than a proud papa quotes his adorable toddler — or at least you come pretty darn close!

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That’s why TVLine offers you its regular Sunday feature, Quotes of the Week, packed with the best one-liners from the small screen over the last seven days.

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This time around, we’ve got a messy bon mot from American Horror Story: Coven, a magazine fantasy from Modern Family, some homoerotic subtext from The Mindy Project and much more. So click through the gallery below for our latest batch of honorees, then hit the comments to weigh in on your faves — and add any zingers we’ve inevitably missed!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Charstin Z says:

    I have 2:
    “It ain’t all burritos and strippers, my friend.” – Dean to Castiel on #Supernatural
    “Alive. Again. Why can’t anyone be dead today?” – Sherlock to Watson on #Elementary

  2. ollie says:

    I swear there are times poi is funnier than any comedy. I would include damon remarke to jeremy about explanining his crazy can’t remember the exact quote.

  3. TVPeong says:

    Yay for the Person of Interest quote

  4. Karl says:

    My fav was on Golden Girls when Burt Reynolds asked Sophia which roommate was the slut and they all raised their hand. And I also loved before that when Blanche said “My God, you’re Mister Burt Reynolds.”

  5. cuius says:

    I was going to quote a joke from SNL but there weren’t any

  6. Apples says:

    Richard Castle lives in New York with his wife Senator Beckett and their three children…how about that for a wham-line!

  7. Stefan says:

    I laughed pretty hard at the last episode of Grey’s.

    Shane: What about glue?
    Cristina: What ABOUT glue?!

    also Meredith saying throughout the episode: I have a mug like that!

    Shonda really delivered when she said this would be a more fun season.

  8. Jamie says:

    My favorite line comes from General Hospital.

    Dr. Liesel Obrecht tells Cesar Faison: “See if you touch your tongue to anything of mine again.”

    This is after Faison wanted Obrecht to wear her rival Anna Devane’s rubber mask face in his bed!

    • ben says:

      Also from gh…Morgan explains he went through Ava’s purse for a pen to which Ava replies “a pen…I never saw you write…I thought you texted all of your correspondence”. Also loved Diane walking in.on Morgan without a shirt and says “oh morgan still looking for your shirt?”

  9. courts says:

    Basically anything said by Regina on Once Upon a Time or Fiona on American Horror Story

  10. c-mo says:

    Bummer, another week without a Castle gem like this sparkler: “Well apparently the only way to stop her is locking her up, but according to Miss By-The-Book here, that is unlawful imprisonment”…Castle talking to Ryan and Espo about the prospect of Alexis moving in with Pi.

  11. Azerty says:

    “I hope you don’t think I’m pregnant” by Webber in Grey’s is my line of the week.

  12. Shanag says:

    Rayna: You don’t need to be anybody’s guitar player. You might need to take a minute, figure out who you are without a guitar in your hand, but don’t you ever say you’re done with music.

    Deacon: You either, okay?

    ….and then I cried, and not for the last time in this episode!

    Nashville, “Don’t open that door”.

  13. Ana Rubio says:

    Bones wedding vows definitely the best one.

    Gotta love Deeks, so funny.

    And how did “Richard Castle lives in New York with his wife Senator Beckett and their three children” NOT make it in?

  14. Matt says:

    Revenge: Victoria to Conrad: That a nice performance are you going to tell what it was about. ( Conrad release his anger on the fake medicine)

  15. BTM says:

    Arrow quote: “There’s not a lot of value in the power of positive thinking when you’re being put on trial for mass murder.” –Moira Queen