American Horror Story: Coven Recap: Shocknado

American Horror Story Coven RecapEvery time you even think about telling yourself that “The Replacements” — this week’s kinktastic American Horror Story: Coven — can’t possibly get any more demented, it does. Not only are we (trick or) treated to not one but two “Oh no they didn’t!” hook-ups, we also get the surprising murder of… Well, you’ll see. Keep reading.

PHOTOS | American Horror Story Season 4 (and Beyond): 7 Possible Premises 

THE OL’ WITCHEROO | The episode opens with Fiona flashing back to 1971 and her merciless assassination of her Supreme (the awesome Christine Ebersole), then in present-day lamenting her fading power and beauty. (Which of course would be more believable if Jessica Lange weren’t the sexiest sixtysomething on the planet!) To add insult to injury, the enchantress is told that, because of her poor health, she’s ineligible for plastic surgery. So, by the time she’s singled out Madison as the next Supreme and taken her under her wing, we’re well and truly set up to think she means it when she asks the movie starlet to stab her. “Kill me for the sake of the coven,” she begs — and then turns the tables on the gullible girl and kills her! “Bury her deep,” she instructs Spalding. “God knows what all that s*** in her body will do to the lawn when it comes up in the spring.” The idea — Madison replacing Fiona! “This coven doesn’t need a new Supreme,” scoffs our one and only, gazing at her would-be successor bleeding on the floor. “It needs a new rug.”

FEELING “HORNY” | To, ahem, “help” Delphine adjust to the modern world — she’s reduced to tears by the discovery that we have an African-American president — Fiona makes her the school’s new maid. (Uniform and all!) But, as you’d expect, “Miss Aryan Sisterhood” balks at the notion of serving Queenie. So Fiona again steps in, informing the human voodoo doll that she now has her own personal slave. What none of them realize at that moment is that Queenie’s new slave comes with a bonus: Delphine draws Marie Laveau’s minotaur to their doorstep. “How the hell is a scary monster a bonus?” you ask. It’s a bonus because, knowing his history, Queenie guesses that he’s a kindred spirit, and instead of try to drive him away, lures him into Cordelia’s shed, diddles herself and breathlessly asks, “Don’t you wanna love me?” (Which, we are given the distinct impression, he does. Yikes! PETA! PETA, where are you when we need you?!)

MOTHER, MAY I SLEEP WITH DANGER? | Upon learning that Kyle’s trashy mother was ready to commit suicide following his demise, Zoe interrupts her would-be beau’s snuggling session with Misty to bring him home. “You can’t just replace me!” Misty yells when not babbling about how Stevie Nicks was never really herself until she found “her tribe.” But replace her, Zoe seems intent on doing. What she doesn’t know — and we are soon horrified to learn — is that Kyle’s mom went so nuts without him because she was so nuts with him. In a truly squirm-inducing scene, she kisses her son in a wholly inappropriate way and then does other things to him that are even less appropriate. (My eyes! My eyes!) By the time Zoe returns to check up on her handiwork, Kyle has bashed his abuser’s head in with a trophy. (May Fiona never consider him as a potential plastic surgeon.)

BABY TALK | Her magical attempt at getting pregnant a failure, desperate Cordelia turns to Marie Laveau for help. There is a spell that will do the trick, Marie says. All it takes is a 2 oz. jar of her husband’s “baby gravy,” a hot pepper, a sacrificial lamb, a new moon and $50,000. (Wouldn’t it be cheaper, less hassle and much kinder to animals to adopt at the next casting call for Teen Mom?) No problem, says Cordelia, even though she has no idea where she’s going to come up with that much money. Oh, but there is a problem, cackles Marie. No way, no how will she perform the spell… because she hates Fiona! (Snap!)

STRIP TEASE | In the hour’s other big plot — though it seems smallish in retrospect, especially in comparison to bestiality, incest, murder and matricide — religious nut Joan (Patti LuPone) and her blandly hunky son, Luke, move in next door to Miss Robichaux’s. “He’s so backed up,” Madison observes (prior to her death, of course), “all I’d have to say is ‘panties,’ and he’d jizz his jeans.” Natch, when she and Nan roll out the welcome wagon, it doesn’t end well. There’s a bit of a fire, and the knife Madison sends flying Joan’s way misses by mere inches. (“She has to work on her aim,” Fiona smirks.) Maybe it’s just as well Madison kicked the bucket: Luke seems to prefer Nan, anyway.

Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? Does your jaw hurt from dropping over and over? Hit the comments!

TAGS: , ,
GET MORE: Recaps

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

75 Comments
  1. Dasmineeeeee says:

    i cant believe fiona killed madison!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • RicFule says:

      Who says she has to STAY dead? I mean, we have Misty floating around with her, “Oh, you can live again” powers. FrankenKyle is walking, albeit not very well, but that could be because he has to learn how to make his new parts all work together. So, there is a chance she could not be gone permanently.

      • Britta Unfiltered says:

        I agree. I doubt this is the last of Madison. Though maybe when a witch kills another witch she stays dead. Who can say at this point. But I think we’ll see her again.

      • dude says:

        This is what Ryan Murphy said. Sorry guys, it seems like it’s going to stick. “Well, I mean, yes, she is dead,” says Murphy. “The funny thing about a horror show to me is that anybody can die at any time. I love that.” But he adds, “All I wanna say is wait ’til you see what happens to the body. Sh-t goes down. When you see episode 4 and you see what Spalding [Denis O'Hare's mute butler] did to the body, you’ll be like ‘Oh, okay I get it. Not only do I get it, but I’m very disturbed.’ I’m assuming they’re going to explore necrophilia next week. It’s AHS.

        • JON says:

          She might be dead, but I’m sure she’ll stick around. There’s a reason why her name is in the opening theme.

          • bend22 says:

            Yes, but Frances Conroy is also in the opening theme and we seen her like 15 seconds in 3 episode.
            I know she’ll be on the next one, but i don’t think the “name in the opining theme” is such a strong thing.

            Still, I really hope Madison will stick around. I really like this huge b-word.

        • Atticwindow says:

          Yeah, given how lecherously pleased Spalding looked after Madison was dead, I’d guess necrophilia as well.

        • tracie says:

          One thing I don’t understand..why did Fiona go through the trouble of making it look like an accident? She even covered Madison’s neck after she cut it and said ‘no’. Was it just in case she came back to life for some reason? If that’s the case, why didn’t she ‘pretend’ with Anna Leigh (previous supreme)? Thoughts??

      • jeremy.hudson says:

        I heard rumors that Misty has nothing to do with Madison. So she will come back to life in another way.

  2. coven says:

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    • Leo says:

      Getting tired of Jessica Lange drinking scene.
      I hope Delia’s and Misty’s stories get kicked up a notch next week.
      And I’m sorry, I just don’t see the whole Zoe-Kyle romance. I think Taissa’s acting skill got worse.
      And Queenie feeling “horn-y” LOL.
      This show is awesome! Ryan Murphy you rock! But please bring Emma Roberts back to my TV.

  3. Christian says:

    I LOVED Madison. She was fun to watch! Hope she comes back somehow….cant believe she is gone.

  4. Kevin says:

    Madison won’t be dead for long. Emma Roberts is in the opening credits, also doesn’t the supreme have all the powers? Would she be able to regenerate or am I mistaken? Tonight’s episode really finally got me excited for this season.

    • Tori says:

      I feel like she will! Misty did it! I go by that logic too, that the “guest stars” will be the ones to die first at least.

    • MMM says:

      You assume Madison is the Supreme. They explained in the flashback that other witches can manifest multiple powers. I’m guessing is the Supreme. They set that up from the start when Fiona yelled at her for being weak. And it’s very possible that the spell isn’t what brought Kyle back, but rather Zoe did.

      • lks221@gmail.com says:

        misty was the one who brought kyle back.

        • Amina says:

          Zoe kissed Kyle in the morgue after Madison left to go to her car, and Kyle woke while the security guard was questioning Zoe why she wàs there. Misty healed his wounds but didnt bring him back.

    • Angie_Overrated says:

      Similar to what someone else just said, I think it’s relatively clear Madison was/is not the budding Supreme. My bet is on Misty or Cordelia. I’ll stop hedging my bets and just say it’s Misty.

    • dys says:

      I also believe that she will be back, but being in the opening credits doesn’t guarantee anything. There have been shows, where people are billed as being part of the main cast, only to be killed in the first episode. The reason is of course to make their deaths a surprise.

      • anonymousaurus says:

        It was said in an interview that we wont learn who the supreme is until episode 12

        • Ytsken says:

          Yes, I doubt Madison is the next supreme. Like other said, witches can have more than one power and the only reason Fiona believed her to be is that they have similar personalities. But the previous Supreme had a completely different personality, so that doesn’t count for much.

          Right now, my money is on Nan. She’s already displayed multiple powers (clairvoyance and telepathy) and this episode subtly suggested another power: Fiona’s ‘dance’. She casually told the other girls guys find her hot, and when she and Madison went to see Luke, he clearly preferred her and hardly saw the (objectively much hotter) Madison. Being clairvoyant and telepathic likely means she’s well aware of the threat Fiona poses so she’s careful not to appear to be a threat to anyone.

        • Anonymousarus- can you do me a huge favor and either send me a link to the interview? Or just narrow it down for me? I comb the internet for details like this for my horror blog/site… thanks in advance. I thought I’d heard all the upcoming plot details out there but this is a new one on me.

  5. Matt C. says:

    As unexpected as this show can be, I can already picture how next week’s episode is going to play out. Fiona is going to be “on trial” by the witch council for killing another witch, and just before she’s to be burned at the stake, Madison appears, brought back to life by Misty. I mean, come on. There’s no way Emma Roberts is dead and gone after just 3 episodes.

  6. Shaina Turner says:

    I hope Madison comes back but dang that did make for a great episode!! I can’t believe what Kyles mom was doing to him, no wonder he bashed her head in! And he seems to have some link to Zoe even though he doesn’t know what is going on. I can’t wait for next week (;

  7. Kristin says:

    Am I really the only one who saw the hand come out of that “really deep” hole in the ground? Madison is very much alive and Jessica Lange’s Fiona isn’t going anywhere either…

  8. Morganic says:

    Yeah I too question whether it not Madison is really dead. She’s listed for thirteen episodes on imdb…not that necessarily means anything.

  9. Fernando says:

    I love this whole season I’m just so upset with what they done to Sarah Paulson this year. Lana Winters was just a bad ass but Coredila just isn’t cutting it

    • Angie_Overrated says:

      Give her some time. We haven’t yet seen the depths of Cordelia’s character. I hear ya though and I too fear that Lana Banana was Paulson’s AHS peak.

      • Djay says:

        Why does hard and tough and dark always better, sometimes vulnerability and good is just as hard. She manages to be the subtle positive light in this show for season 3 without being completely boring. Im happy with her. The person who’s character is really disappointing this year is taissa farmiga she is t much of a character at all, she is more of a narrorator than a fully developed character.

        • Fernando says:

          I’m not saying she needs to be tough but she needs better writing, she’s not someone I’m rooting for like I was last season with Lana, I just see her story weak. She’s falling behind and fading in the background of so many actresses when she herself could shine bright like the rest of them even Emma Roberts is above her this season.

          • Lessa says:

            Ahh but I’ve read that Cordelia is going to wake up and show that she’s truly Fiona’s daughter sometime around episode 6. She’s always tried to stay on the lighter side of things I think in an effort to balance Fiona’s pure selfishness. I don’t know what’s going to change her but I hear her inner bitch/goddess is going to stretch herself.

        • Joey says:

          Agreed that Taissa has been disappointing. It’s almost like she’s just playing Violet again this season, and I didn’t like her much in Murder House either, so….

          • Summer says:

            Yeah, Violet was the weakest link of the first season for me. I didn’t connect with her character at all, and I feel like the same’s going to happen here.

            Also, considering how Murphy adores Taissa, it’s possible that her character will somehow end up being the Supreme.

  10. brie says:

    I’m pissed Madison is dead but I don’t think she is really dead. Afterall no one on any season of AHS seems to stay dead for long

  11. Rafa says:

    The hand coming out of the ground is Maddison’s for sure; she cannot be gone after just three episodes!!!!! I really liked the sickness of this episode (i hope that doesnt make me the sick one).

  12. rachelle says:

    Both the scene with Kyle’s rape-y mom and Queenie boning the Minotaur were disturbing as heck! Both made me just wanna throw up. I called Queenie banging The Minotaur as soon as she said the thing about them both needing or wanting love, I swear! This show is crazy every week and I can’t get enough! And Angela Bassett is my queen! She’s gorgeous and a hell of an actress. Her performance tonight was fantastic as usual.

  13. Tori says:

    I love your recap of a episode that made me uncomfortable more then once tonight. I laughed at your hilarious descriptions of the the two scenes that made me consider changing the channel. Ryan Murphy is definitely not afraid to push the envelope, he is willing to rip it to shreds.

  14. Jennifer says:

    Wow! Molestation and quasi-beastiality!! So much for that “lighter tone”this season eh Ryan Murphy?

  15. Fernando says:

    Let me just say Emma, Jessica, and Lily are owning this season so far. So are Angela & Kathy but the first three are def. the high points of this season.

  16. woodyinho says:

    Clearly Zoe’s the next supreme.

  17. cj says:

    Love watching Kathy Bates Jessica Lange and Emma Roberts on the show. If Emma comes back I’m good with this and will be fun to see Jessica langes reaction.

  18. Kristie says:

    Die madison die. Honestly it would be nice not to watch another scene with her in my opinion. She doesn’t suit the supreme role, or any role in this show for that matter. Let’s see she got the role because she’s dating evan peters and she’s julia roberts neice. Well deserved especially after the motel scandal when she assaulted her man evan peters (aka tate and kyle from the show) last year and was arrested for the domestic abuse. My theory on emma roberts is that she is a spoiled no good actress living in the shadow of her aunt she’s an embarrasment to the show and her aunt who is one of the best actresses in hollywood. I’ll be glad if I never have to see her face on this show again I love this show and have been watching it since day one. The one thing that bothered me was her casted for the show taissa farminga is a great actress for her age. She’s edgy and serious, she would be a great supreme. Clearly emma roberts will be back shortly to stir the pot but the rookie can never beat the original especially if she’s that evil… unless your names jessica lange. She’s not going down without a fight. Love taissa and evans connection in this show they have chemistry you can see it through the seasons it gave me the biggest chill when they first seen eachother at the party, been waiting to see them in a scene together since season 1. Either way with or without emma roberts I will continue to watch she’s irrelevant in this show to me mostly because I was watching long before she arrived and will watch long after. I vote Taissa for supreme!!!! She deserves it.

    • Joe says:

      What is the point in getting so personal with Emma Roberts as a person? You don’t like her, good, that’s your opinion, but to say she’s living in the shadow of her great aunt and only got the role because of that and banging Evan is a bit much. Does this mean she banged everyone involved in all the movies she’s played in? I highly doubt that. All the hate seems unnecessary and catty. I think she’s playing the role quite well and not only is she acting the part, she looks the part as well. I highly doubt they’d give such an important role, a mirroring of Jessica Lange, to someone who didn’t deserve it. Either way, you’re completely entitled to dislike her,or her character, or her acting, but the catty-ness is undeserving. Unless you know her on a personal level, i think it’s best not to get personal.

      I agree she shouldn’t be supreme and quite honestly, everyone should know she is not because of the writing in the show. A. They would most likely not cast a younger equally bitchy version of Langes great character as the new supreme. B. in fact the character traits for the new supreme most likely will be the complete opposite. And C. When writing a script, one does not drop a huge bit of information about talented witches having maybe four or five powers, but the Supreme has the seven wonders, and to think the first witch that shows multiple powers as the supreme is just falling into the writers hands.

      My bet on the supreme is Zoe. She is depicted as weak and fragile, yet she is the new “BFF” of Madison. She has shown multiple powers as well and it seems to be glossed over but there. When she gets to the school she sets ??? On fire.

  19. Britta Unfiltered says:

    Too many semen references, lol. Seriously though. Too many semen references. That has got to be the most effed up episode of American Horror Story I’ve ever seen. Seriously, it was just messed up. I guess I didn’t understand that Fiona killed Madison on purpose. My impression was she really did want Madison to kill her and her killing Madison instead was just Fiona losing control of her powers. So now I guess I don’t understand why Fiona would go to the trouble of being nice to Madison and begging her to kill her when she could have just done it quickly and without fanfare. Seriously, what was the point? Misty’s Stevie Nicks obsession is starting to annoy me a little. I’m not sure why, it just makes me roll my eyes and takes me out of the show. I feel like they are underusing Sarah Poulson. And you are very right about Luke, he is pretty bland. A good set of abs do not a good character make. Or something to that effect. I’m curious to see what comes next for Fiona, Marie,and Cordelia.

    • Aprilcot says:

      Fiona was so nice to Madison because she wanted to be sure she was the next supreme. I also think she truly wanted Madison to kill her and her death could have been an accident. A happy accident for Fiona, no doubt, because she clearly showed no remorse. I agree about Sarah Paulson, but I think I read an interview with RM where he said that Delia is going to become more prominent in the next handful of episodes.

  20. Brandon says:

    I agree with some of you. I have a feeling that either: 1) Misty will somehow stumble upon Madison’s corpse and bring her back, or 2) Madison will resurrect herself. She has powers she doesn’t realize she has.

    And once that happens (Madison’s return), Fiona will then have to battle against Madison, the coven’s council for her crimes, Marie Leveau AND Madame LaLaurie (for killing Queenie. I just have that feeling that she’ll kill her).

  21. Tori says:

    I have a strange feeling after watching this season episodes again that Nan is the next supreme. in the first episode Fiona told the girls that Nan was smarter then all of them put together. I get the feeling that Nan is very clever and knowing the work of Ryan Murphy, it would be like him to hide the truth in plain sight. I also have the feeling the neighbor church hottie will be Nan’s boyfriend.

  22. English says:

    When people ask me why I watch this show; this is why! Its so twisted and crazy that its truly a surprise to watch because you never know where they are going to go with the story and how much of it they can cram into one episode perfectly!

  23. American says:

    I am really upset Madison is dead, she was by far the most interesting and fun to watch witch. The part where the mom started kissing Kyle was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, until Precious started touching herself. I really hope that the AHS writers stop trying to push the limit, its already a bad ass show so stop doing things that are so disgusting that some people like myself had to fastforward through it. If they have any more incestual scenes, I won’t watch the show again and I am such a huge fan of the show and have been since the beginning. I think the show was better when they focused on being scary and not on just being crazy.

    • Fernando says:

      It’s American Horror Story, what do you expect, just people sitting around doing nothing. It’s suppose to be scary and disturbing and rape is a true horror on its own. Don’t watch a show with horror in it if your not ready for it. I’m tried of all the whiny people saying this show is too much well it’s in the name, they have to be true to the name or else it’ll be lame like 666 park ave . was.

  24. Mikael says:

    I loved Madison! Emma Roberts played her so well. I really hope she doesn’t stay dead. I’m guessing that not being able to have a baby is going to drive Cordelia to become darker and possibly have a showdown with her mother. I don’t really understand what’s going on with Misty, unless her jealousy over Kyle is setting up a big fight between her and Zoe. I also think Zoe is going to be the next supreme.

  25. betty says:

    I loved Madison hope Misty brings her back. Would like to see how it would play out with Fiona if she does come back.

  26. Bethanie says:

    Madison is by far my fav, I hope she comes back !!

  27. Zorca says:

    Really liked Madison as a character. Fiona kind of overreacted to her theory of Madison as the next Supreme. Her predecessor explained that a talented witch could manifest four or five gifts, but only the seven wonders make a Supreme. Madison only displayed two powers, telekinesis, and her newfound pyrokinesis. My bet’s on Zoe as the next Supreme. It’s usually the least likely character who ends up being the most powerful. Fiona may have angered the Voodoo Queen, but I’d guess Delia’s the one going to start an all out war with her after she gave Delia hope for her fertility issue only to shatter it and laugh in her face cause Fiona’s her archenemy. My guess is Madison’s coming back somehow, as a body or alive, she’ll be back.

  28. Sna says:

    I’m so glad maddison is dead she better stay that way! Emma Roberts Is the least talented actress and it really grosses me out that she looks twelve!! At least taissa, even and Jane have grown as actors. I think Emma Roberts was just suppose to be a name dropper for the show although I don’t know why they would use her other than the fact that she’s dating Evan!

  29. do it says:

    Madison’s attitude added a lot to the show, I really hope she’s not out for the rest of the season. Good episode though.

  30. Alexis Garcia says:

    Lmfao at the person hating Emma Roberts. Get over yourself. They better somehow bring Madison back she’s a boss ass bitch! She’s been my favorite character from the start besides Fiona. She can’t die :(((

  31. Emma Will return says:

    Nan will read the butlers mind find madison and then zoe’s gonna get misty to bring her back……thats my plan and im sticking to it

  32. Laura says:

    Emma Roberts is still on IMDB for 13 episodes for AHS Coven so..yeah

  33. Marco says:

    I’m all for Emma Roberts, but Madison was an AWFUL character. She won’t be missed. I’m guessing she’ll come back as a spirit, though… (like Hayden in AHS:MH. Great actresses, but characters I wanted to kill myself).

    • kendall says:

      The black widow girl in the beginning who killed her boyfriend with sex is obviously the supreme she can’t go the whole show with that one power and if madison was the supreme all those boys that raped her would have bled out from their eyes and apparently any witch can have the resurgence power perhaps when she kissed Kyle in the morgue she brought him back and don’t forget madison made a deal with the devil to be his slave…..

      • kendall says:

        They started the show through the black widow girls viewpoint being new to the school meeting everyone through her eyes and jessica Lange is just a guest star but the down syndrome witch probably has several badass powers I hope they introduce the white witches they have a whole host of actors/actresses from Asylum to come in and fill roles. Bottom line the black widow witch reigns supreme….but is there a white supreme witch?

  34. tracie says:

    One thing I don’t understand..why did Fiona go through the trouble of making it look like an accident? She even covered Madison’s neck after she cut it and said ‘no’. Was it just in case she came back to life for some reason? If that’s the case, why didn’t she ‘pretend’ with Anna Leigh (previous supreme)? Thoughts??

    • D says:

      Personally I think that she is just desperate (Fiona) and I don’t believe she intentionally meant to kill her otherwise her reaction as you stated wouldn’t have made sense. I think though after it happened she thought, OH well, what’s done is done. I think if Fiona wanted her dead she could have done it without all the theatrics.

  35. ?? and he clearly wasn??t ready to take a position. a veteran of the U.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,491 other followers