On Monday’s Mistresses, however, Karen (who puts the “lose” in “delusional”) offered an alternate viewpoint: Insanity is going into a deposition, ignoring even the most mundane details of your lawyer’s instructions and confessing to a wide variety of professional malpractice and personal misdeeds — while implicating yourself in a possible felony — just so you can turn the shank-eye on your romantic rival, flip your silky cascade of hair and sigh, “And now my conscience is clear — I doubt you can say the same.”
Oh, Karen, it’s all well and good that you’re taking the moral high road in your battle against that ice-blonde beyotch Elizabeth Gray, but what’s the point when said road is leading straight to the state pen?!
Anyhow, despite being out of the country on vacation, I feel obligated to attempt to finish out recapping duties on my second-favorite summer series of all time (right behind American Idol). So let’s cut to this week’s shenanigans while keeping it way wayyyy briefer than uzh.
KAREN | Our graduate of the University of Southern California at Self-Destruction got stupid honest during her aforementioned deposition, torpedoing her romantic prospects with hot business partner Jacob and hot insurance investigator Anthony Newsome in the process. I don’t know why Karen is poisoning the waters with the torrid twosome while acting like a hurt teen with Elizabeth’s stalker son Sam, but perhaps there’s a naughty conjugal-visit fantasy in play?
SAVI | At Joss’ urging, Harry tries to sneak a peek at Savi’s paternity test results, but not even his flawless blonde locks and Aussie accent can crack the flustered receptionist. Savi, meanwhile, after getting set up by Dom on a cushy trip to NYC, wonders if she has any reason to fight her feelings for her ragingly hot coworker/possible baby daddy — especially since her estranged ex doesn’t seem like he’s that into her.
APRIL | Despite breaking up on account of Richard’s fistfight with her not-actually-dead spouse, April and Richard spend a day at an amusement park with their BFF daughters and wind up reconciling — and presumably sharing churros — by day’s end.
JOSS | Oh dear. Joss literally translates new girlfriend Alex’s innuendo-stuffed chat about craving meat into an excuse to have on-the-job sex with dashing French boss Olivier. Needless to say, Alex responds with all the exasperation and hurt of a Pug who’s just had her bowl of kibble hurled unceremoniously into the backyard. Is it insane of me to think this is headed for a threeway (or fourway, if you count Joss’ magnificent lion tank top)?