Glee Recap: Snow More Drama

puck jake glee“Does this involve the glee club singing a Christmas song in the auditorium with snow falling on an elaborate winter scene?” hissed Sue Sylvester, sworn enemy of New Directions, in Glee‘s final episode of 2012.

The answer, of course, was a resounding yes — both in terms of the final scene in Sue’s story arc, and the overarching theme of the episode entitled “Glee, Actually.”

If you were too busy attending the first (and last) meeting of McKinley High’s Mayan Apocalypse Club, here’s what you missed on Glee.

* After slipping on a patch of ice and suffering a facial laceration, Artie lamented his wheelchair-confined life. But as he napped in the nurse’s office waiting for his mom to pick him up, he had an It’s a Wonderful Life-esque dream sequence (featuring Rory the Christmas Angel and a twist where Quinn “died of a broken heart” post-paralysis) and realized his chair was a part of who he is — and the confident, happy teenager he’s become as a part of New Directions.

* Burt Hummel made a surprise visit to NYC to share news of his (very treatable, early stage) prostate cancer with Kurt. He also brought along a large, awkward Christmas gift in the form of Blaine. And while the two engaged in a warm duet on the cold NY ice, I’ve got to say Kurt never looked completely at ease in the company of his cheating ex-boyfriend. To make matters even more complicated, Blaine dropped the bomb that he wants to apply to NYADA. “Would that be okay?” Um, what did you expect Kurt to say in front of his dad, and put entirely on the spot? Also, from a selfish perspective, Blaine Warbler kinda put the kibosh on the Burt-Kurt dynamic that I adore and genuinely miss this season. So phooey on him — for now anyway!

* Puck brought Jake out to L.A. (via motorcycle sidecar!) but then had to admit he wasn’t living such a wonderful life in the California sun. Dude is lonely! The brothers hightailed it back to Lima, brought their feuding mothers together for a holiday dinner at Breadstix, and formed a reluctantly happy foursome that bonded over pasta and a shared dislike of the absent Puckerman Senior.

* Sam and Brittany, believing the Mayan Apocalypse was nigh, got “married” (not legally, it turns out — thank you Coach Besite for saving the kids from a fate of having their faces blurred out on COPS). But just because they survived doesn’t mean they’re not gonna keep being honest with the people they love! (On the subject of honesty, maybe we could make Sam and Brittany about 15-25% less dumb in 2013? I’m not asking for Mensa, but a basic comprehension of Indiana Jones would be nice…)

* Sue drew Mrs. Rose in the faculty “Secret Santa,” and after overhearing the lunch lady was short on the necessary cash to send Marley for treatment for her bulimia, raised money with the sale of an ill-purchased 7,000 year old tree to give her fellow single mom (and the woman’s wide-eyed daughter) a Christmas tree, some wrapped persents and $800 in cash. And to think they went and paid her back with the gift of song. Man those glee-club kids know how to enrage the Cheerios’ coach, don’t they?

Episode’s Best Zingers
“Talk slowly so I can understand you.” –Artie to the Irish angel played by Damian McGinty

“There’s gonna be a Jesse Tyler Ferguson lookalike contest!” –Rachel, trying to convince Kurt to come join her and her dads on Rosie O’Donnell’s LGBT cruise

“Acting is a pipe dream for you, and your decision to pursue if as a career is both irresponsible and shocking.” –Brittany, coming clean with Tina before the end of the world

“Joe, you haven’t really made much of an impression on me, and I don’t really understand what your deal is.” –Brittany, again dropping hard (meta) truths before the apocalypse

“And you really couldn’t swallow first, could you?” –Sue, after Beiste failed to slow the eating of her lunch to make time for conversation

Letter Grades for Musical Performances
Artie, “Feliz Navidad”: B-

Kurt and Blaine, “White Christmas”: B+

Puck and Jake, “Oh, Hanukkah”: B- (mainly because the boys got Auto-Tuned into submission, but also because the setting was a little absurd)

Marley, “The First Noel”: B (pretty, but oh so brief!)

Sam (flanked by reindeer-inspired Cheerios), “Jingle Bell Rock”: B-

Glee Cast, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”: A- (even though it looked like a Banana Republic flagship store, I can’t be made at it)

And with that, let me turn things over to you. What did you think of “Glee, Actually”? What plot lines worked and which ones didn’t? Sound off in the comments!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Ashley says:

    Puck. Puck. Puck. yes. hopefully this means we will be seeing more of him.

  2. Me says:

    Kurt, Blaine and Burt are all that matter to me. I loved their interaction. You can tell that Kurt and Blaine are trying and (I think) will more than likely end up back together at some point later this season. It was HORRIBLE to see them hurting, I love that Kurt is starting to forgive his Blaine’s stupid mistake, their duet and hugs were sweet. And of course right now they are still going to be awkward but they both expressed wanting the other back in their lives cause they are best friends. I’m sure Kurt loves the idea of having his best friend with him. And you can tell how much Burt wants them to work things out and be happy together again. The interaction while watching the basketball game was hilarious LOL. And their dinner was sweet <3

    PLUS a lot of Kurt's actions in the episode were perfectly showing that he just got that terrible news about Burt. Seriously, Burt better be fine and cured very soon. He is the best TV dad EVER.

  3. Ariel26 says:

    I loved Kurt’s dad and Blaine arriving in NYC. But hated that Rachel left so quickly. I liked Marley/Marley’s mom/Sue story. Really touching. I even thought that Brit/Sam and Puckerman and brother storylines were fun.

    I would have liked to see Matthew Morrison. Or Quinn. Or Santana. I know you can’t include everyone. But these three have such small parts this whole year so far!

  4. anne says:

    Burt has cancer? What a manipulative way to try to force Klaine back together. Good writers wouldn’t have to resort to a stunt like this. When are we going to be able focus on how Kurt feels about all of this? A mature heart to heart with Blaine would be welcome, thank you. I thought we were getting that, but of course not. We got cancer instead.

  5. Lindsey Lyons (@lindseylyons) says:

    Seriously, what is with the old man sweaters on Finn and Puck?! They aren’t that old, we are able to differentiate between the current high school students and the graduates…

  6. Géraldine says:

    Is it me or the “infamous” bedroom scenes with Brittany/Sam were cut?
    Anyway, this sham marriage between the 2 most dumbest characters was ridiculous and worst, this SL is ruining both characters!
    But now, it seems almost certain that Bram will not be an endgame, but just a phase (like it was with Artie, Quinn/Santana in S2 and Mercedes in S3! :-D
    Matthew Hodgson really deserves his nickname of Flopson to have written this scenario (mariage, the Mayan Apocalypse, etc…), no doubt!

  7. jm says:

    Well Mixed Feelings…

    Love Artie´s part… specially RORY… i missed him a lot… :) {much better than Joe} and then there was this “FELIZ NAVIDAD” thing… i wanted to throw my shoe against the screen… he looked like he was crazy… that movements… (toilet please)… nevertheless glad they have a latin song for once.

    Kurt/Burt/Blaine part was a bit boring for me… love Burt though

    Pucks bross was nice… love their mothers better

    SAM/BRITTANY: Love specially two things Beatsie…. (marrying them/inidiana reference) and Telling the true to everyone

    Sue: Very Nice tale… hope they let her being nice… she will be so fun be nasty to other groups to help them…. for once… l though she will gave Glee Club as a present a ticket for sectionals…

    My favourite people tonight : Rory and specially BETTY. She was hylarious :D
    Didnt like most of the song performances… only the last one maybe

  8. champmav says:

    typo: “…I can’t be made at it.” I’m sure you mean “…mad at it.” [in song grade section for Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas] Just trying to be helpful…

  9. Alienate says:

    So nobody cares that sweet little Becky has been turned into the most obnoxious character on the show? It didn’t just happen in this episode, but WHY?

  10. Ana says:

    Where is Santana? She added spice to the show. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I even missed Rachel. I don’t recognise this show any more. I’ve always found Brittany’s cluelessness endearing because it was balanced by Santana who looked out for her. But to pair her up with Sam is just an overdose of vapid, redundant, not even-remotely-funny stupidity. These two spouting nonsense is not whimsical, its pathetic. At this rate, they will never graduate. And when is Tina going to get some respect? This is all about the newbies with the originals playing supporting roles. A move like that has to be transitioned, not shoved down the fan’s throats. Can we just get a spin off with Quinn, Santana, Finchel and Klaine in NY and leave this mess to drown on its own. I used to root for the newbies. No more.

  11. Tim says:

    Great job Glee in tying all the story lines together. The common thread, of course, was the guardian angel.

    Rory was Artie’s guardian angel.
    Coach Beiste was the guardian angel for Brittany and Sam.
    Puck tried to be guardian angel for Jake. Then Jake was guardian angel for Puck.
    Burt was guardian angel for Kurt and Blaine Warbler, although Blaine Warbler offered to be guardian angel for Burt through his prostate cancer.
    Sue was guardian angel for Marley and Mrs. Rose.

  12. Sib says:

    Can we just finish with the new kids storyline and focus on the original casts only? This episode has reminded me how much I missed puck and his singing(which IMO is one of the strongest male singer on glee), too bad actually he recently only existed just to be props for jake’s storyline. Seriously, I wish this show would drop the mckinley storyline, we could have all the graduates in NY because right now the new kids have only bring so little to the show. Following Rachel Kurt Finn puck Quinn Santana mike and Mercedes chase their dreams would so much more interesting instead of recycling the storyline in McKinley over and over again. I hope fox realized that glee nowadays losing viewers every week was because of lack of leads and original casts and new kids shoved down to our throat when majority of us are watching glee is for the originals. ratings, music sales and critics have proven that. It is really a shame for glee they have such an amazing original casts with incredible chemistry(sag awards are the only award that glee could get this year because of the actors) but they are wasting that opportunity BIG time. It’s really a shame glee writers, really.

  13. Alex says:

    i think Michael Slezack this was also the worst recap from my favourite critic so this show really must’ve uninspired you too? unless this is all meta?

    It was dull and so not absurdly magical as previous ones, however I did tear up more. The Marley and Me scenes and Burt and Kurt (always the best).

    Seriously though – I felt like I watched a whole lot of nothing, actually. Attempting to skip through vignettes of their lives but ending up focusing on 3 half assed not very in the spirit ones had me skipping chunks because I just did not care.

    Why had the issue of Marley’s serious weight issue not addressed why is Kitty still parading around like she didn’t cause them. Has anyone noticed that Tina has progressively become a bitch over the series (and not a funny or marginally talented one). Why did they bring that Irish guy back (ugh) and does Joe even have to be there anymore? and who the hell is going to explain to me how it is possible Sam has become so much more stupid since this series began. No wonder they never address the Mercedes/Sam tryst because she would never have gone for such a dumb-ass.

    I do feel like Rachel is growing up though. Out of all the characters I actually get the sense she is older and more mature. The others keep coming back with nothing to really tell. I blame the writers but its also inevitable – Rachel was always the star.