President Obama pardoned not one, but two turkeys. (Congrats, Cobbler and Gobbler!) Most major networks scheduled repeat programming so families and friends could gather around the Thanksgiving table (or plot Black Friday ops with military-style precision). But Simon Cowell, dastardly Brit, scheduled an X Factor results-show telecast.
Wait, what is this? A non-animated airing of How the Grinch Stole Thanksgiving? I mean, Wednesday’s performance show was stuffed to the point of bursting (sorry if that phrase made you reach for the Tums) with haunting and harrowing tales from the Season 2 Top 10′s past. (Read the recap here, if you missed it.) How can you make people spill their tears in front of 10 million viewers, then 24 hours later, crush their dreams of a major-label recording contract on America’s favorite eating holiday?
I dunno. Maybe Simon will get in the spirit of the holiday and hold off on the double-elimination till next week.
Maybe he won’t, and we’ll lose Arin and Paige, or Arin and CeCe, or Arin and (God, please, no) Beatrice. Could even be the week to say goodbye to Arin and Tate. (Hello, holiday shock boot!) But since my in-laws’ Thanksgiving meal begins at 6pm sharp, I won’t be home in time to watch and recap the proceedings. So please let this post be your place to sound off on The X Factor‘s Thanksgiving telecast.
UPDATE: Good thing for Cobbler and Gobbler that Simon isn’t President. After a brief Best Buy-sponsored interlude where the Top 10 acts visited a middle school that had been given a new, tricked-out music room, Thursday night’s results-show telecast quickly got to eliminating the week’s lowest vote-getter, Arin Ray. “We’ve all loved you here,” said Khole Kardashian, but we knew and Arin knew she didn’t really mean it.
Then it was time for a sing-off between the second- and third-lowest vote getters. I was sure one of ‘em would be Paige Thomas, seeing as how the show’s producers chose to play her jaw-dropping response to the judges’ tough critiques from Wednesday night: “I didn’t sing it to sound good. I sang it to show what I felt.” Dial 1-866-Honey-Pleeeease! I’m not trying to hear this nonsense, and I’m not trying to hear her off-key strangulations of recent pop hits!
But nope, the at-risk singers were CeCe Frey and a trembly-lipped Beatrice Miller. CeCe made a terrible mistake in choosing to cover Kelly Clarkson’s “Because of You.” That would be like me entering a heavyweight boxing match: I haven’t got the size or the skills or the training. And from a vocal perspective, CeCe staggered through the number, getting in a punch here or there, but mostly just trying to maintain some semblence of correct notes and not end up face down on the matt. Beatrice, meanwhile, covered Dido’s “White Flag,” and despite being on the brink of emotional collapse, sounded pretty great doing it. Sure, there were the occasional flat notes, and yeah, you could hear the strain in her voice from the cold Mario Lopez said she had, but there’s a rawness to her delivery and a distinctiveness to her tone that make her a better bet for stardom than plucky but middling CeCe.
Then it was time to vote, and because deep down, Simon and L.A. Reid must know CeCe doesn’t pose a real threat to their front-runners, they chose to oust Beatrice from the competition. So did Demi Lovato, selfishly backing her own horse. Only Britney Spears made the right decision, but it obviously wasn’t enough to save Beatrice, who wept and wept and said “I’m sorry” to her little twin sisters. (At least she had CeCe there to hug her and shield her from Mario Lopez’s robotic “you were great, sweetie.”) (Also: This was not in any way enjoyable holiday viewing.)
I don’t believe for a second that Simon eliminated Bea because, at 13, the competition was “all getting too much” for her, but nevetheless there’s a little part of me that thinks from a mental health and development standpoint, leaving the zoological trappings of Fox’s secondary singing competition might not be the worst thing that ever happens to her.
“That was seriously so heart-wrenching for me!” announced Khloe, back from the break. Boy, I hope Khloe is okay!
And finally, it was time to reveal the week’s voting order.
8. CeCe Frey
7. Fifth Harmony
6. Paige Thomas
5. Diamond White
3. Vino Alan
2. Tate Stevens
1. Carly Rose Sonenclar
And with that, let’s get your thoughts. Did the right decisions get made this week? Are you still longing for the return of Lyric145? Is elimination the best thing that could’ve happened to Beatrice? Inquiring minds want to know!