Early on in Sunday’s episode of The Walking Dead, Milton tells us (well, tells Andrea, technically), “Mere words cannot adequately describe the festivities ahead.” Nonetheless, I’m gonna try. Shall we?
PENNY FOR YOUR… GASP! | While all of Woodbury is preparing for what’s built up to be the hootenanny to end all hootenannies, the Governor is holed up in his quarters brushing the hair of — holy crap! — his zombified daughter, Penny! When she becomes too agitated (as opposed to just agitated enough?), he puts a hood over her head, pulls her close and assures her that “Daddy still loves you.” Sick stuff. Sweet… but sick.
HATCHET JOB | Back at the prison, Rick, looking ever more rabid, goes on a rampage, taking his axe to a whole cellblock full of walkers. When he doesn’t ever come back out, Glenn goes in after him, only to get pushed around and growled at. (To be clear, it’s Rick, not a walker, who pushes Glenn around and — quite literally — growls at him.)
A MATTER OF KNIFE AND DEATH | In Woodbury, Michonne retrieves her sword from the Governor’s office, then discovers — and dismembers — his secret stash of walkers. (Oops — sorry, it’s biters in Woodbury.) The Governor tries to play it cool, but Michonne, of course, is cooler. “People with nothing to hide,” she notes, “don’t usually feel the need to say so.” Before the day is out, she’s held her blade to the madman’s throat, argued again with Andrea about staying vs. leaving, and finally left… alone.
I GOT YOU, BABE | While Daryl decides that, instead of naming Carl’s little sister after one of the gang’s fallen members, they should call her “Lil’ Asskicker,” Rick discovers the room where Lori gave birth and died. As luck would have it, there just happens to be a bloated walker nearby on whom he can work out some issues by violently reenacting his wife’s C-section.
THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT! | Still reeling from Michonne’s departure, Andrea is horrified when the main attraction of the Woodbury block party is revealed: It’s basically Fight Club, with Merle taking on another tough guy while chained-up zombies grab at whichever of them gets too close. Though the Governor tells her (essentially), “Chillax! All of the biters’ teeth have been removed!” she still gives the show a big ol’ thumbs-down.
IS IT ME YOU’RE LOOKING FOR? | When Rick finally gets so tuckered out from his all-day walkerpalooza that he sits down, the unthinkable happens: The telephone rings. All together now: What the… ?!
Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? Is it heartbreaking or horrifying (or both?) that the Governor is still trying to bond with his daughter? Did you wanna smack Andrea or what when she wouldn’t listen to Michonne’s gut? And, even though they dug a grave for Carol along with Lori and T-Dog, I don’t think she’s really dead. Do you? Hit the comments with your, um, comments.