“Wait, America? You’re breaking up with me? Seriously?”
“Yeah, sorry to say.”
“But we only had one date!”
“I know. It’s not me, it’s you.”
“Wait, don’t you mean…”
“Are you going to exit gracefully, or do I need to sic that Kardashian chick on you?”
Cue sad trombone.
Actually, cue Mario Lopez, as he introduces a Pepsi ad starring One Direction and Drew Brees… Wait, dude did not just try to act as if a message from our sponsor was part of the telecast, did he? Of course, he did, it’s The X Factor! Somebody’s got to pay Britney Spears for delivering her critiques into the giant green screen she’s imagining is in front of her at all times.
Let’s get to the results.
Sent to safety IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER…
Paige Thomas (uh-oh, bad news for CeCe)
Vino Alan (uh-oh, bad news for Jason)
And now a word from that Kardashian woman: “How hot is One Direction?” (Yes, we sent Steve Jones to the trash heap for this. At least he had stunning cheekbones!)
Carly Rose Sonenclar
A slice of America (aka Tate Stevens)
Bottom 2/Sing for Survival
CeCe Frey: Cher’s “You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me” | Lyrics like “This is far from over, you haven’t seen the last of me” are far more depressing than inspirational when they’re being delievered in a nervous warble that’s hitting maybe one out of every five notes. Girlfriend’s voice was, alas, “pushed way past the point of breaking.” (Side note: Didn’t CeCe’s hair look like she’d beeen sent to the stage in the middle of a hair-coloring treatment? Tragique!)
Jason Brock: Life was once again a cabaret for Jason as he delivered a stripped down, slowed down twist on “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” But my word, his tone and grasp on pitch were 1,000 times more on point than CeCe. To paraphrase Aretha Franklin, ain’t no way he should be exiting stage left before the girl with the leopard-print non-tattoo.
Judges Vote on Who to Send Home
Demi: Jason Brock
L.A.: CeCe Frey
Britney: CeCe Frey
Simon: Jason Brack
And thus, the decision moved to “Deadlock” — with America’s lowest vote-getter Jason Brock getting the axe. “I did it for the gays and Japan!” declared Jason.
Finally, our hostbots announced the voting order for how the Top 12 acts placed this week — an interesting twist, although I’ve got to admit the information left me scratching my head a bit.
12. CeCe Frey
11. Arin Ray
10. Beatrice Miller
9. Lyric 145
8. Paige Thomas
7. Jennel Garcia
5. Fifth Harmony
4. Diamond White
3. Vino Alan
2. Carly Rose Sonenclar
1. A slice of America (aka Tate Stevens)
And with that, I turn it over to you.
Did the right person go home this week? Was America correct with its Bottom 2 selection? How about the overall vote tallies? Hit the comments with your thoughts!
p.s. Due to Hurricane Sandy leaving me without cable and internet for six days, there’ll be no new Reality Check till next Monday. Last week’s kick-awesome episode, however, is embedded below!