MTV Movie Awards: Best and Worst Moments

Russell Brand MTV Movie Awards 2012Twilight! Hunger Games!” shouted host Russell Brand on several occasions during his opening monologue for the 2012 MTV Movie Awards. Clearly, it wasn’t going to be a night of intense suspense about which films would dominate the proceedings. But then again, it’s not as if six months (or even six hours) from now, most viewers could actually tell you who took home a Golden Popcorn statuette.

Still, if you’re going to throw an awards show where the prizes — Best Kiss, Biggest On-Screen Transformation, “Trailblazer” — are as meaningless as a Nicole Scherzshnitzel critique on The X Factor, the least you can do is throw a raucous, funny party. And alas, that’s where the latest MTV Movie Awards fell flattest of all.

There were Brand’s stale jokes about Michael Fassbender’s penis (like pungent burps reminding us of the rich meal of bon mots George Clooney whipped up at the Golden Globes). There was poor Mila Kunis stuck with woeful “presenter banter” that had her calling Mother Teresa a “dirtbag.” There were even repeated reaction shots of Paris Hilton (the celebrity equivalent of a grotesquely melted candle with a pitiful, flickering flame that stubbornly refuses to yield). All of which seemed less in line with MTV’s usual style of “desperate to shock and delight at any cost” and more in line with a show that’s gotten too lazy to bother trying. And so without further ado, here are my picks for the night’s three best and three worst moments.

3) Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield present the “Breakthrough” Award | Maybe I’m just a sucker for Stone’s loopy-lady shenanigans, but watching her excitedly make declarations about the nominees like “they branded their names on the competition’s asses!” was my favorite live moment of the telecast.

2) Lester Boonshaft | Okay, so this skit about Hollywood’s leading archery expert could’ve been better written, but Joel McHale was goofily committed to the ridiculous role, and J.J. Abrams and Jennifer Lawrence added grim-faced absurdity to the proceedings with their irritable memories of working with Lester. And to think this dude cost us a whole Klingon archery subplot in Star Trek!

1) Emma Stone gets mocked, then wins the Trailblazer Award | The concept of a tribute video filled with backhanded compliments and outright insults is nothing new, but Jason Sudeikis and Anna Faris in particular elevated this one to hilarious heights. The former’s expletive-filled, off-camera tirade (followed by compliments that Stone is “a powerful performer and exceptional human being”) was hilarious, second only to the latter’s praise of Sharon Stone and her incredulousness that Emma Stone isn’t actually 47. Bonus points for Emma’s sweet acceptance speech encouraging teens that “what sets you apart can feel like a burden, but it’s not,” and then admitting she sounded a little “like I live in a van down by the river.”

3) Project X winning the award for Instant Cult Classic | Or, in other words, the part of the show with Charlie Sheen introducing a highlight reel of the key requirements for a “party movie”: beer, babes, more beer, party fouls, and destruction. Yes, we now have proof of art imitating life imitating a middle-aged dude who isn’t as in on the joke as he thinks he is.

2) Russell Brand’s opening monologue | If your best material includes zingers about hiding a gram of coke and a bottle of Hennessy under Charlie Sheen’s seat or Alec Baldwin being “so macho he has hair on the shaft of his penis,” then maybe it’s time to call James Franco and Anne Hathaway for counsel.

1) Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, and Leighton Meester introduce Best Kiss | I never expected Sandler, in his awful pink t-shirt and rolled-out-of-bed above-it-all-ness, to be funny. Thus, I wasn’t really disappointed by the lameness of his joke about an oiled-up stripper slipping and winding up with her tongue in his mouth, then smashing a beer bottle over his head and vomiting in his face. But when Samberg declared his best smootch was the time “I French-kissed my dog’s butthole,” all I could do was shake my head and think “You left SNL for this?”

And in case you missed the show (or ff-ed to get to the good parts), here’s the list of winners:

Best On-Screen Dirtbag: Jennifer Aniston, Horrible Bosses
Breakthrough Performance: Shailene Woodley, The Descendants
Best Male Performance: Josh Hutcherson, The Hunger Games
Best Female Performance: Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games
Instant Cult Classic: Project X
Best Kiss: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn Pt. 1
Generation Award: Johnny Depp
Best Fight: Josh Hutcherson and Jennifer Lawrence vs. Alexander Ludwig, The Hunger Games
Best Cast: Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, Part 2
Best Hero: Harry Potter
Best On-Screen Transformation: Elizabeth Banks, The Hunger
Trailblazer Award: Emma Stone
Movie of the Year: Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn Pt. 1

What did you think of the 2012 MTV Movie Awards? What were your picks for best and worst moment? Sound off below!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. kelly says:

    It kinda sucks that the you can predict the next few years winners with twilight and hunger games in the mix. No award for ryan gosling, just insane!

    • guest says:

      Well, next year is Twilight’s last so it won’t be in the mix for much longer. I’m hopeful that with it leaving, MTV will stop pandering and give awards to more than one movie. Maybe it’s because I actually like the Hunger Games but this year’s show felt less like one film dominating everything but that might be because I was rooting for Jennifer Lawrence and company.

    • Judit says:

      You are right regarding Ryan Gossling!!He is now not a promising actor,but a
      finished artist.He had 4 films in a short period of time.None of them worth some little award????? No justice on the earth.

      • AB says:

        “No justice on the earth” – exaggerate much? War in the Sudan, 10% unemployment, children going hungry in the richest nation in the world, THAT’S no justice on the earth. Ryan Gosling not winning an MTV movie award does not qualify. Get some perspective, cuz I’m sure Gosling would agree.

        • Judit says:

          Thanks for giving me a very serious lesson.I much better seeing that what is important on the world/according to you/Everything,but no Ryan.

          • yowza says:

            Um, it’s not like your second comeback was any better than your first… just sayin’

        • Judit says:

          Hey AB,
          You aren’t a qualified commenter for me,’cause you are a peace-fighter about everything that weren’t connected any to any movie topic,or event.

    • Cassie says:

      It’s the MTV awards NOT the Oscars – of course it’s all about pop culture and who’s in at the moment and what’s the latest cult, etc, serious actors don’t care that they didn’t get nominated here, these awards are more for fun and entertainment than putting on a resume with your headshot. Seriously, no one, not even Ryan Gosling, would care they didn’t win from MTV and I’m not knocking MTV, but their awards are not the triple crown of movie awards shows – for those you need to be watching the Golden Globes, The Oscars and the BAFTA’s, and most important of those, the Oscars, no matter where you are in the world!

  2. Jenn says:

    The best part of the MTV Movie Awards have always been the movie spoofs. I don’t understand why they opened with musical performances. The entire thing was a giant embarrassment. This was seriously a shell of what this award show used to be.

    • Amanda says:

      Yes, it was a shell. It was so lame and Russell was quite subdued. I didn’t understand the Trailblazer award purpose at all. Somebody in the MTV brass must really have a thing for Emma Stone. I was hoping for some kind of Rock of Ages performance. Maybe next year if it’s nominated. The only thing I liked was when Joe Alcide (my name for him :-D) came out in his fireman stripper get up!! I also appreciated Christian Bale getting choked up over seeing Heath Ledger on screen.

    • No longer thurston 4 anything MTV has to offer says:

      I too am trying to understand why no movie spoofs…thats the one thing they get right but NOT this year. Also-I am starting to get a bad feeling as in maybe the Awards go to who ever has a movie coming out…its like all things MTV = Rich ‘OLD’ people getting RICHER! OH wait in 3-4 months we will be right back here for the Video Awards…ya know Videos? wait do those even make people money anymore?

    • Sia says:

      I totally agree wiv u! What the hell happened to the spoofs? It involved so many actors and actresses and it was so damn funny! Why did they do a musical performance instead! That is just retarded!

  3. MariaPompeo says:

    How the hell did Twilight get Best Film again? I guess I can understand the very first one…but seriously, the last one that was at the Cinema was god awful. REALLY BAD.

  4. katya says:

    Plus they didn’t televise the two Bridesmaids wins! Gut-Wrenching Performance and Comedic Performance (for Melissa McCarthy)!

  5. Britta Unfiltered says:

    I didn’t watch, but I am seriously shocked to see The Descendants in a list of winners for the MTV movie awards. It blows my mind that anyone who can vote for a Twilight movie as the movie of the year can recognize The Descendants for anything. Like, seriously, my brain hurts over this. Is this the darker timeline?

    • chrisjroof says:

      You have to remember that the winner is also the star of a pretty successful tv show on ABCFamily, so a lot of those fans overlap with the MTV crowd, but you are right – still very surprising…

    • CeCe says:

      LOL This year, MTV announced that for the first time, some of the prizes were decided by an “expert” panel of some sort… I think the award Woodley won was one you couldn’t vote for…

    • ella says:

      teens who watch secret life saw the Descendants for Shailene Woodley, of course they did vote for her, she is pretty popular among young audience thanks to her tv show.

  6. Gabi says:

    So, basically Emma Stone was the best thing about this “awardshow”? Not surprised.

  7. andrea says:

    ok so Emma Stone is awesome, what else is new?

  8. jt says:

    The best thing was the footage of The Dark Knight Rises.

  9. Mel says:

    I agree with MariaPompeo on how Twilight won Best Movie. I mean they barely won anything throughout the entire show and they get the Best Movie award?! It was decent but not decent enough to get that. I was pulling for Harry Potter or at least The Hunger Games to win (especially since they took home almost all of the awards) but not Twilight. No offense to the Twilight fans, but I will be glad when this franchise makes its exit so other movies have a chance of winning besides Twilight. Honestly, it was the only down side for me during the awards show.

    • CeCe says:

      I really thought The Hunger Games had it in the bag… But I guess those Twi-hards are more relentless than I thought!

    • G-Mom says:

      I agree! I was for Hunger Games all the way, but, if they couldn’t win, I wanted Harry Potter to win. HP has been overlooked for so long! I’m glad they won Best Hero and, especially, Best Cast (since HG didn’t). Best picture should have gone to either HG or HP!!! I am a grandmother, but I watched the show just to see who would win. Russel Brand is awful and not funny!! He and the show are just too crude!! (Must be the “generation gap”) Although, I loved the archery bit and Emma Stone’s introduction for her Trailblazer award (what IS that anyway?) I just love Josh Hutcherson and Jennifer Lawrence. Excellent actors! Can’t wait for Catching Fire!

    • lulu says:

      it wasn’t decent, it was crap.

  10. Babybop says:

    I did find it funny that they pulled Twilight from most of the race, to try and even it out, when we all know that Hunger Games will win when Twilight is gone. And I would never consider “Project X” to be a “cult classic”. Especially since it has hardly been out, and people aren’t still talking about like they are about other movies this year.

  11. Aiden says:

    Every segment tht featured Emma Stone was, hands down, the best and most genuine parts of the telecast.

    For a show not meant to be taken seriously, I thought it had a lot of great moments. The Lester Boonshaft skit with Joel McHale, JJ Abrams, and the always delightful Jen Lawrence together was incredibly fun to watch (Also, did anybody catch her precious “I can’t eat this.” comment to the popcorn statue during her speech? Priceless.) The Charlize Theron/Fassbender intro and KStew’s Playful best kiss speech was amusing. Emma Watson accepting for what likely was Harry Potter’s final award in behalf of the cast was touching.

    Oh, and let’s not forget: Johnny Flippin Depp with The Black Keys. Introduced by Aerosmith members. Who cares about the awards, really?

    • AB says:

      Kristen Stewart’s Best Kiss speech was awkward and painful to watch. I didn’t think it was amusing in the slightest. She asked for three different costars from 2 different movies to go up and “help” her give an acceptance speech since Pattinson wasn’t there and you could’ve heard the crickets when no one went up. You’d think after the first person didn’t go up she would’ve gotten the idea. The rest of the speech was just embarassing. I didn’t find it playful so much as just painful.

      Emma Watson’s acceptance was brief and sincere, at least. I didn’t find Stewart to be sincere at all.

      • zk says:

        She is so awkward! Maybe she should get some lesson in speech giving. Taylor lautner is such a class act

      • The Squatch says:

        I didn’t get why every time someone tried to hand Kristen Stewart one of the popcorn awards she immediately handed it off to someone else or, if she was alone, just sat it down on the stage. It was like she thought she would catch MTV cooties from it or something. Just seemed very odd to me. She just seems like she is always… uncomfortable. Whatever the circumstances.

  12. TinyTim says:

    What kind of medication is MTV brass on to think this show up?

  13. Stacie says:

    I know I am getting old when my least favorite/most crigneworthy moment was the fact that Julianne Hough’s nephew was in the audience while all of the curse words and penis jokes were going on. I know it gets bleeped on TV so if there are kids his age watching at home then they can’t hear it, but the kid is sitting there. Cursing has happened more and more on this show and most MTV award shows just as the awards shows have become shells of their former selves, a coincindence, I doubt it.

  14. Sounds like the MTV Movie Awards has become a parody of itself now.
    I remember when it used to do cool stuff like Ben Stiller as Tom Cruise’s stuntman, Leia giving Chewbacca a medal etc. Now it’s Twish*te this, Twish*te that.
    My Mrs made me watch Breaking Dawn. It’s the worst film I’ve EVER seen.
    And what’s Project X when it’s at home?

  15. Claire says:

    I don’t get why Charlie Sheen for you was not ‘in the joke’ think he is more in the joke than any pseudo press columnist who trash him again and again..think next time Michael..

  16. Kalee says:

    Was it confirmed that Jennifer Aniston is pregnant yet or is that still a rumor? Because she clearly is now.

  17. sparrow says:

    Harry Potter won two. (just as much as Twilight did) and PHULEEZ MOVIE of THE YEAR. BREAKING DAWN? WOW MTV. YOu really are shallow…

  18. Bark Star says:

    And this is why children are not allowed to vote in politics.

  19. Peter Venkman says:

    I can recall back in the mid-90s when people like Jason Voorhees, Chewbacca, and Jackie Chan were given lifetime achievement awards. Jason friggin Voorhees! It used the parody other movie awards, they were funny, as well. Now? I haven’t watched the MTV Movie Awards in almost a decade.

    • Jonathan says:

      they stopped doing it when clint howard won. he took the award seriously, and they never attempted to do a parody award like that again. clint’s speech took it to the level of honor and rejoice. not what mtv was trying to do.

  20. Brenna says:

    The saving grace to this show was the cast of magic mike and Elizabeth banks-hot!

  21. Judy Latty says:

    Johnny Depp was clearly the STAR of the show! Black Keys, Joe Perry, Steven Tyler were also great! Mr. Depp DONT get out of the “business” the award was for your accomplishments!! Rock On!!

  22. SE says:

    You could not be any more wrong. Best moment of the night goes to Elizabeth Banks for doing what every female in the world wanted to do at that moment…grind on Channing, Joe, and Matthew.

  23. K says:

    Dark Knight footage was the best thing, followed by the show ending and Teen Wolf coming on.

    • K says:

      And why do they keep hiring Russell Brand? He is not funny.

      • Amber says:

        ^^THIS! I’m sure some people like his sense of humor but the I’ve never laughed at him before. I would seriously like to know who he’s sleeping with at mtv to keep getting hired.

      • kakirita says:

        He must know someone- nepotism. Russell really does need to hang it up! More annoying than anything! He get’s creepier & creepier as time goes on. What the heck was Katie Perry thinking!

  24. T. says:

    Emma Stone was the best part of this. The rest? Nah.

  25. jb says:

    Black Keys were as great as ever. Christopher Nolan getting standing ovation was great. Rest of the show was terrible.

  26. lacey lawrence says:

    Russell Brand is far from funny he is just crude. The show was terrible this year. Best part was with the magic mike cast! The worst part (umm how to narrow it down to only one….) probably having Russell Brand as the host.

    • zk says:

      I agree very crude and lame. I had to send my 16 year old away.I turned it off after 15 min of russels monologue.cannot believe he was married to Katie Perry a daughter of ministers..whose idea was it to hire this guy!

  27. I stopped watching these awards 2 years ago. It’s just embarrassing anymore. Charlie Sheen reminds me so much of my out of control bi-polar brother who at 49 “still wants to get the band up this weekend or party this weekend” acts like he’s the coolest guy on earth (in his head), is so in debt for he can’t keep a job (due to bi-polar) and refuses to take his medicine for it makes him feel not like himself (my brother is now a “sub” licensed pharmacist in many states) So we watch the trainwreck at each family event with total discomfort but we continue to love him nonetheless. I suspect the Sheen family does the same thing.

  28. Lynne says:

    Didnt watch most of it, only the last few minutes for the Dark Knight Rises preview but it is no surprise that the show as a whole was a dud or that f’in Twilight won it all again. Was hoping Potter fans were gonna come out and give the series one last hurrah but I guess we all know this thing is a complete joke now for the last… 4years isnt it? Yeah, right when the damn TwiHards killed it all. Oh well, one more year and then dont need to deal with them every again. Maybe then some GOOD movies will have a chance at winning.

  29. airhead says:

    let’s be honest, HP7 should have won Movie of the Year. or at least the hunger games – definitely NOT twilight.

  30. guest says:

    The only funny part of the Best Kiss introduction was Leighton Meester describing her incredibly romantic kiss only for the guys to call her a whore. The rest of it was lame.

  31. Jake says:

    I was surprised that they gave best cast to Harry potter

  32. marteen says:

    I was so bored… Best parts for me were Christian Bale choking up watching Heath Ledger, and Johnny Depp. Other than that… The jokes were not funny, and Russell Brand… I’ll just call him irritating.

  33. Meg says:

    I know MTV has pretty much zilch to do with music anymore. But how does the MTV Movie Awards not have an award for best song from a movie? Even the Oscars all but ignored that this year (only 2 nominated songs), were there just not a lot of good original songs?

  34. Patrick says:

    I just think the Best Kiss should’ve went to Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling. That moment was awesome in theatres. Also, Elle Fanning should have gotten Breakthrough Performance. She was amazing in Super 8!

  35. TV Gord says:

    Emma Stone deserves all the praise she’s getting! I loved her heartfelt acceptance speech. It gave me hope for the future.

    I’m also glad the horrible Samberg’s attempt at humor fell flat. Now that he’s gone from SNL, I hope he fades into obscurity with all of the other marginal SNL cast members.

  36. Irishgirl says:

    Did anyone else think it odd that Kristen Stewart didn’t hug or for that matter even acknowledge Jody Foster when she went up on stage to accept the Best Movie award? I just thought that was odd.

    • TV Gord says:

      Kristen Stewart is the most awkward, distant and unpleasant celebrity out there these days. Her interviews promoting the Snow White movie made me less likely to see them. She needs to either learn how to promote her movies or refuse to do the publicity circuit.

      • gorram says:

        What did this girl ever do to incite such hate? It’s almost pathological, the abuse she seems to get. All because she’s not a drone like that insipid Emma Stone? Gross.

        • tripoli says:

          I was about to agree with your first comment but then saw your ridiculous hate for Emma Stone. You are pretty much throwing hate at her while asking why it’s done to Stewart. Just stupid.

        • TV Gord says:

          If she had some personality, I wouldn’t be making these comments. How is it my fault that she’s so devoid of personality?

        • jmp says:

          I don’t understand the need to hate. But I have recently seen an awfully amount of hatred toward young female celebrities for no good reason ( Gwyneth Paltrow , Anne Hathaway, etc…) . I really many women hate talented & successful females.

          Now, Emma Stone is overrated . She was flat in “The Help.” Her acting always seems forced and over-the top. It is never natural or real.

    • panama says:

      JFC why would she? They were in a movie together more than 10 years ago. WTF does Jodie Foster have to do with Twilight?

  37. thali says:

    it sucks

  38. Phil says:

    The show was awful. The Magic Mike moment was kinda funny, while the K-Stew acceptance speech for Bestr Kiss was simply painful to watch. Poor kid!

  39. Gina says:

    Wow. So glad I didn’t watch it.

  40. lilu2go says:

    the winner list could be out of the teen couce awards o_O

  41. chris.o says:

    All of you haters need to be quite. If you don’t like the MTV Movie Awards then don’t watch them. I’m pretty sure MTV won’t go broke if a few haters don’t watch. Twilight won because they have the most ” TRUE” fans so far. The people who actually go and vote instead of just doing nothing and complaining afterwards about their favorite movie not winning. Emma Stone and Kristen are two of the most amazing young women most just hate on them because there jealous of there success at a young age. Emma Stone rightfully earned her trailblazer award she has an amazing personality she’s extremely successful, breathtakingly beautiful and just overall awesome. Kristen Stewart does have an awesome personality which just happens to include her awkwardness which a lot of people including me find very attractive. So until one of you gets up and does what they do you should just keep quiet.

  42. Stephen S. says:

    Yes, the winners were mostly crap, but I thought it was a funny show. I loved Russell’s monologue actually. And Kristin Stewart’s speech for winning best kiss was hilarious. The best dirtbag presentation with Milas Kunis and Mark Wahlberg was hilarious. And the whole Dark Knight Rises presentation was great.

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