May 31, 2012 07:11 PM PDT

Can We Please Give Honey Boo-Boo – And All Such 'Exploitainment TV' – a Time-Out?

Get More: Commentary, Controversy, Reality TV

If you are familiar with what I’m about to discuss, you may find it engaging; if you are not, thank your lucky stars. Though I’m loath to pay this topic any lip service, I am moved to say something.

TLC – that’s The Learning Channel – has decided that you want to – nay, need to — learn more about “Honey Boo-Boo Child” aka Alana Thompson, the headline-grabbing star of its shall-not-be-named series about toddlers who wear tiaras (among other overdone accessories) to pageants.

I admittedly know not too much about the aforementioned reality series or the star of its newly greenlit spin-off. But I do know that both fall into the category of what I call “exploitainment TV.”

Because say what you will about the very worst and most disillusioned of American Idol auditioners or the desperate daters who aim to bed Bachelorettes and swing in the Bachelor Pad, they are by and large consenting young adults, people who have the presence of mind and wherewith all to know what they are doing – and, more importantly, what is being done to them. Those goons from the Jersey Shore may have a blood alcohol level of 0.1 when they sign on for each season (and draw double the audience of time slot rival Awake, sigh), but they are of age.

But these tiara-wearing toddlers…. they’re pawns.

If I can offer you but one illumination about “Honey Boo-Boo,” know that this 6-year-old is plied with “Go-Go Juice” — a homemade cocktail of Red Bull and Mountain Dew that packs as much caffeine as two cups of coffee — to blaze through her busy itinerary of preternatural pageantry. In a climate where cupcakes are forbidden at grade-school classroom parties and the mayor of New York City is declaring war on super-sized sodas, Go-Go screams of being a no-no as well as abuse of at least the rugrat’s health.

Yet some people upon hearing the news of the spin-off say, “Abhorrent! But… I’ll probably tune in anyway.” “It’s just a guilty pleasure” and all that. Such enablers reckon that the program and its ilk are in the pipeline to be consumed anyway, and lest you have a Nielsen box your implicit endorsement of its existence doesn’t count one way or the other.

To that I can only trot out this chestnut: If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. By consuming the empty calories that such programs deliver and sparking even one watercooler session or typing a single tweet about them, you keep them in the pop culture conversation. The very fact that the tiaras show spawned a spin-off says loud and clear: Moms, if your child is involved in some funky stuff that quite possibly does not benefit their psyche in the long run, rush out and get thee an agent. The same way that would-be teen moms are egged on to get pregnant and often, because Hey, it just may turn out to be your lucky day!

(“Advocates” for the latter program will argue that it does not paint a pretty picture of teen pregnancy. The tabloids that put the kids-with-kids on covers and thus reward reckless sexual practices with any semblance of fame poke a hole in that argument the same way anxious young Kaitlyn maybe poked a hole in Brandon’s Trojan.)

I know I am at risk of coming off as elitist in this dissection of the “exploitainment TV” problem – which also folds in the likes of Hoarders or any show that divines entertainment from the lives (OK, usually the problems) of those who may not have the best faculty to sanction it. But tell me: Does it seem right that the same medium that gives us compelling scripted dramas such as Homeland, Game of Thrones and The Good Wife, or quality reality fare like The Amazing Race and Deadliest Catch, also can play host to that which only invites the viewer to point, laugh and shrug, “Hey, at least it’s not my jacked-up six-year-old”?

When well-trained actors are out there giving the performances of their lives, when schooled writers are working through many a night to tell you a good story, when highly skilled dancers and singers are laboring to dazzle us with their innate abilities, why must we so desperately go digging, deep and at times into muck, for other “stars”? Why is a populace that is so quick to carp about the lack of quality TV series (or condemn those that are derivative) just as ready to make a family of pretty sisters far more affluent than any 100 of our education system’s best teachers?

If we don’t at some point enforce some sort of filter and make our disapproval for unrewarding TV known, it’s scary to think how much lower programming executives will allow the bar to go.

Tags: Alana Thompson, TLC, Toddlers & Tiaras

Comments (173)

Clap! Clap! Clap! Thank you Matt! Now, if someone at TLC would actually read this and have an epiphany. Oh, what am I saying? These are the same creeps that brought us Kate Gosselin abusing her husband and children for 5 years and, when the husband finally got fed up and scarpered, turned him into a laughing stock just to bring in the ratings. They have no soul and no conscience, and they appeal to people who are the same. Wish there were some way to hold them accountable for the lives they are exploiting and, possibly destroying.
Comment by showfan – June 1, 2012 04:03 PM PDT Reply To This Post
Matt thank you so much for writing this. I think it takes guts for a guy in the tv news biz to take some networks and programs to task. And it says a lot about you and Tvline that you’re willing to do it. It also shows you care about TV as a medium, because it’s really getting bad out there in TV. We seem to be in a “golden age” on one hand, and a “garbage age” on the other. And it shouldnt be like this. If someone has the power to create a show and this junk is the best they can do, or try to do, he or she should be ashamed…

I also love that you called out the viewers of these shows and viewers in general. We do have power and responsibility over what gets made and what stays on TV. If there is no market, there is no show. And youre right – it’s time to drop the “guilty pleasure” line. It’s not okay how these kids are being exploited, nor how people are being encouraged to act like idiots for money. It’s just degrading to humanity.

Thanks for using your superpowers for good!
Comment by Beth – June 1, 2012 04:39 PM PDT Reply To This Post
- Well said, Beth! I don’t support shows that [I know to] exist to simply line the pockets of those who display bad behavior/or hold up “poor life choices” as entertainment. I agree especially with your “golden age-garbage age” line – I’m not embarrassed of anything I watch, and am not interested in rewarding lowest common denominator programming when there are so many hard-working people with stories created to inform, entertain, or both/and more.
  Comment by Winnie – June 1, 2012 05:29 PM PDT Reply To This Post
I initially ignored this article specifically because I saw the little girl’s picture (and it was clearly the “pageant type” shot, and I do steer clear of such programming and so-called “celebreality” in general)but in coming back today, read who wrote it, and noticed the first few words. Thank you for this! I agree, but I wanted to admit that I watch a couple of competition reality shows (in my opinion, the ones I watch are constructive in nature, save for the cheese-factor or the hand of producers). One of these I believe most TV Line contributors are not fond of, but I stand by my enjoyment. [/vagueness]
Comment by Winnie – June 1, 2012 05:23 PM PDT Reply To This Post
One of the Gosselin blogs has come up with a couple of alternates for TLC — The Lying Channel, and Traumatizing Little Children channel.
Comment by showfan – June 1, 2012 08:04 PM PDT Reply To This Post
I remember when “The Learning Channel” actually had shows that instructed the viewers. And “Arts & Entertainment” had quality dramas and comedy shows. Now TLC and A&E have become dumpsters for trashy ‘reality’ shows. And this trash has spread to the History channels and even The Weather Channel. The more channels we get, the more garbage is on them. Bring quality back to TV!
Comment by linda – June 2, 2012 11:17 AM PDT Reply To This Post
Now that was one great article. I’m glad not everyone working on TV is sold-out. Thank you for writing this, Mr Mitovich!
Comment by yippity – June 2, 2012 11:56 AM PDT Reply To This Post
I agree with everything this article says! I’m sick of this kind of television, especially when quality scripted shows such as Fringe or Harry’s Law are getting axed because people enjoy watching other human beings humiliate themselves in front of the world just to be in the public eye.

TLC has become one of the worst offenders of this. By god, I wish they would change their name because as long as people are tuning in they’re not learning a damn thing.

And shame to the people that sit and watch this crap! This show would not be on the air if people didn’t watch it, plain and simple. The fact that it exists proves how far this country, and the world for that matter, has fallen in that hand basket towards hell.
Comment by Dave – June 2, 2012 12:51 PM PDT Reply To This Post
I’ve noticed that for a lot of these “Toddlers and Tiaras” kids their choices in life seem to be limited. Some of the money these kids make is supposed to go towards college but I’d say for the majority of kids, their future doesn’t include college or even a vocational school. The families seem to have made a choice that their little darling will be their meal ticket. Like Eden Wood or Honey Boo Boo. Early on, the girls learn the lesson that their beauty will get them farther in life than brains will. And I think part of why the shows are so popular is the viewers that were never beauty queen material, the people who were never cheerleaders or popular, feel a sense of comfort watching the price of beauty. They see that even pretty girls aren’t perfect.
Comment by jaded – June 3, 2012 12:00 AM PDT Reply To This Post
Matt you rock for writing this article! Thank you so much for speaking up on what are clearly the worst shows on tv. Too bad other writers aren’t as willing to voice that opinion. Here’s hoping that one day they will ALL go away
Comment by Jennifer – June 3, 2012 07:14 AM PDT Reply To This Post
This show, and others like it, are the reason why network television is dying. Reality shows are cheap to produce, giving them a larger profit margin. I don’t know why the programming guys are afraid to spend money for actual talent, but it makes me wonder why they’re in television at all…
Comment by Erika – June 3, 2012 06:25 PM PDT Reply To This Post
Preach, sister!
Comment by exBFF – June 10, 2012 05:04 AM PDT Reply To This Post
I have never seen Toddlers and Tiaras, but have seen enough advertisements of the show to turn my stomach..TLC has really gone down hill… They are no better then many other stations airing garbage reality TV..If anything, they are worse for being part of the disturbing exploitation of children, but it’s all about the profit…The well being of innocent children is not at all important…The parents of these little ones are deeply disturbed and viewers of the show are not much better….Sickening!
Comment by christinamrk – July 6, 2012 06:46 AM PDT Reply To This Post
Testing 1,2,3….
Comment by BrookynMentalCzar – July 9, 2012 05:56 PM PDT Reply To This Post
Ok, now that I know I can leave a comment without all the absurd and nosey intrusions (signing up aka “Machine Gun Style Interrogation”….

Personally, I think that this Mother and Mothers alike (Fathers too although it seems that Mothers are by far more common in this “game”) are disgusting. Pure vile. This Honey Boo Boo’s Mother actually said “whatever works for your child” in regards to this go go juice. Just vile. So to me, that means at any expense. Any length. Health being effected. Teeth. Kids picking on the kid. And well, lets face it, adults can be rather mean as well, pointing the finger at the child. This childs behavior is not only condoned by the Mother, but, encouraged. Its “cute” to her. Despite all the sicko perverts out here, drooling over this poor kid and her “tummy” and “daisy dukes” as she “shakes what her mama gave her”, the Mother is at fault here. When a child like this gets all the attention and reaction from adults, naturally the child will continue to do it and go to great lengths in doing so, regardless if its healthy for the kid or not. The kid doesnt know it isnt healthy. Who am I to say what is healthy or not? Well, this is just common sense. Am I a perfect parent? Well absolutly NOT! Have I made some choices that were not so good? Of course! Choices I wish I could change now. But nothing and I do mean nothing like this. I dont live vicariously through kids and I wouldnt DELIBERATLY put any child in harms way for crowns and trophys, money or fame. Now if I so chose to do it, as an adult, where the reality show is all about me me me, then thats different, Im an adult. But, not only would my child NOT be the centerpiece, my child wouldnt even be featured at all. But, thats me. Not downing parents who from time to time have their children on TV, but, I just wouldnt want it at all, much less it being ALL about my child and her “antics”. Again, I dont fault the child. I have heard ALOT of adults actually call this child names and what not. That too is vile. In the Doctors office the other day (Dentist) waiting room, this became the topic and 2 adults just ripped this poor kid apart. When I stepped in and put my 2 cents in, I thought it was going to get violent in there due to these parents NOT seeing my point of view. They DONT have to see it my way, but, I respectfully disagreed with their views, they refused to offer the same and Im no poo but. I sarcastically snapped back, but was respecffull and tastefull about it considering my surroundings and well, lets just say the other adults who were there basically knew that nobody would take it much further than what it was and felt safe to pop off at the mouth the way they did. No biggie. Im adult now so I had nothing to prove, but, I still defended this Honey Boo Boo kid because thats exactly what she is, a kid. A child. Not some “slut” who in 6 years will be a single mother strung out on crack like they were saying. What a nasty nasty thing to say about a kid. Besides, thats another slap in the face to single Mothers out here.
If anything, I would love to have a long one on one with this childs Mother but Im willing to bet it wouldnt matter. Surely plenty of other people have spoke to her about this and Im sure she reads blogs. She just doesnt care, period. If you EVER do read this lady, I dont know what you missed out on as a kid , preteen or teenager, and if so, sorry to hear, but, you wouldnt be the ONLY one, but what youre doing to your child is foul. Producers and other people just giggling away as your child grabs her belly that she exposed. Now in your warped mind, you would say “My child is secure with her body” but it doesnt take ALL THAT for a child to be secure with their body. A child really shouldnt even be worrying about body image as far as “the shape” at that age no how. You are emotionally and psychologically and systematiclly conditioning your child in a negative way. All of it. All that I have seen is vile, and, you are too.
Comment by BrookynMentalCzar – July 9, 2012 06:16 PM PDT Reply To This Post
Unfortunately I just saw the commercial for Honey Boo Boo and I am shocked and horrified.
Comment by Jay – July 18, 2012 08:37 PM PDT Reply To This Post
- Me too. I’m disgusted> that child is the creation of ignorance.
  Comment by barbara – July 29, 2012 02:31 PM PDT Reply To This Post
What exactly are we learning anyway from “The Learning Channel?” Funny, that on the contrast, I deter my young children from watching the rubbish offered in the name of “learning.” Thank God for the integrity of PBS!
Comment by Deanna – July 22, 2012 06:42 PM PDT Reply To This Post
- Hopefully it’s to learn that maybe American values have gone south…literally. The most ignorant part of the south.
  Comment by barbara – July 29, 2012 02:33 PM PDT Reply To This Post
TLC should be ashamed. This “Honey Boo Boo” thing is disgusting. There is enough exploitation of the ignorant on television, do we need to stare at their spawn as well?
YUCK!
Comment by barbara – July 29, 2012 02:29 PM PDT Reply To This Post
It’s “wherewithal.” But props for “loath.”
Comment by Doreen – July 29, 2012 07:15 PM PDT Reply To This Post
Well…I am not watching anymore Southern families make fools of themselves. Hillbilly Hand Fishin’, Gator Boys, Wild Boar Hunters, Swamp People, Toddlers and Tiaras, Dance Moms, etc. It is sad what people will do for money. Don’t they realize the entire country is ridiculing them … or do they just not care?

These shows portray Southern families as ignorant and greedy. Often subtitles are necessary because their English and dialect are so bad. They seem to have no pride
and nothing is beneath them. It is humiliating.

Exploitation….absolutely. We do NOT need another show of this type…and you can take the Kardashians, Jersey Shore idiots, and the Real Housewives off the air with them.
What rubbish.

I think the intelligence of most viewers exceeds what you offer. Give us something to think about … not this trash!
Comment by Shirley – July 29, 2012 09:36 PM PDT Reply To This Post
- Slight correction. Dance Moms takes place in Pittsburgh, PA. Last time I checked that has nothing to do with the south. Everything else you said is true though.
  Comment by Lauren Kirsch – July 30, 2012 10:59 AM PDT Reply To This Post
- I couldn’t agree with your more….I am so sick of these brainless shows. TLC has become nothing, but pure trashy entertainment.
  I do respite care for a young girl with C.P. There are a couple of shows she likes to watch on TLC in the morning. This is the only exposure I get to TLC and every time I see the commercials for Toddlers and Tiaras I cringe. Then the commercial comes on for Honey Boo Boo and I feel sick to my stomach just hearing it. My husband sometimes watches Swamp People which really makes me angry. I can’t stay in the room, just to hear them talking irritates me. I imagine some Southerners are offended with the way they are being portrayed by these uneducated people.
  All the shows you mentioned and many more are complete trash. They are an insult to those of us who want to watch television without the pollution.
  Comment by christinamrk – August 1, 2012 04:25 AM PDT Reply To This Post
I always thought that toddlers and tiaras was so creepy, never watched it but it occurred to me that it was geared toward pedophiles
Comment by Lizzie – July 31, 2012 07:49 PM PDT Reply To This Post
Unfortunately, these overweight and very homely
mothers are living through daughter’s that are also homely and extremely fresh. But this honey boo boo (how nutty can you get) is really over the top. They need to wake up and smell the Moumtaim Dew!!’
Comment by Gemma – August 4, 2012 07:04 PM PDT Reply To This Post
TLC, The Lowlife Channel, TLC, TheLoserChannel, TLC, TheLetmeexploitChildren network….I stopped watching this sorry excuse for TV long ago as I could see where they were going with their disgusting programing. I encourage and ask all who hold our children dear to do the same.
Comment by Jonathin Dreslin – August 9, 2012 01:09 PM PDT Reply To This Post